Hurt to the point of crying

[Iceman1978]

I've had it happen in social settings. And when that hasn't been the case it's been rejection, hostility and just an overall condescending way in which I'm treated by others.

---

The last time I dated was in 1997.

 

[bodafuko]

I'm sorry for your experiences, but we are all charged with creating and maintaining our own beliefs about our selves. It would be nice if there were three choices in life: 1) Believe what others say about us - let others define you, 2) Don't believe what others say about us - define yourself, or 3) Have a perfect world where no cruel things happen

Unfortunately, option #3 does not exist.

So your choices are to define yourself or to let others define you.

It sounds as though you are resolved to let others define you. I hope you can change that for your own wellbeing.

 

[Iceman1978]

I try not to let others define me, but when you've had almost a constant negative reaction it's hard not to.

 

[ladyforsaken]

People have told me right to my face that I'm ugly. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes when I think about it, it gets the better of me.

And people here are constantly telling you that you're not ugly. In fact we're saying you're good looking or look normal. But I know how the mind tends to focus on the negative. How about trying to hear our positive comments about your looks as well? There really is nothing wrong with your looks. It's all in the mind, my friend. Don't matter what others think of you. It's what you think of yourself matters and you owe it to yourself to tell yourself that you're good-looking. Be nice to you, and try to love yourself, it's the least that one can do in this life first and foremost, before achieving anything more. That's what I think.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yeah I did. I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror cause I felt as if I was horrible and hated my existence. Now I'm a lot happier about myself cause I learned to love who I was inside and out.

 

[Sci-Fi]

And people here are constantly telling you that you're not ugly. In fact we're saying you're good looking or look normal. But I know how the mind tends to focus on the negative. How about trying to hear our positive comments about your looks as well? There really is nothing wrong with your looks. It's all in the mind, my friend. Don't matter what others think of you. It's what you think of yourself matters and you owe it to yourself to tell yourself that you're good-looking. Be nice to you, and try to love yourself, it's the least that one can do in this life first and foremost, before achieving anything more. That's what I think.

This is true but here's the thing. Negative words soak in and hurt more than positive. For one negative it can take 10 to 20 positive to overcome that. So when you get a group of people who all decide to be cruel it may take an entire mob of people to change that. Once you start letting the negative in and get to you it is so hard to change that.

Like the lady said, take in the good comments you've gotten here, allow them to brighten your day and hold your head up a little higher.

 

[Iceman1978]

I will, and I'm feeling better today than I was last night. I appreciate everyone talking to me to cheer me up. It means a lot to me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Negative words soak in and hurt more than positive. For one negative it can take 10 to 20 positive to overcome that. So when you get a group of people who all decide to be cruel it may take an entire mob of people to change that. Once you start letting the negative in and get to you it is so hard to change that.

Like the lady said, take in the good comments you've gotten here, allow them to brighten your day and hold your head up a little higher.

True that!

And glad you're feeling better, Iceman.

 

[OnlyMe]

This is true but here's the thing. Negative words soak in and hurt more than positive. For one negative it can take 10 to 20 positive to overcome that. So when you get a group of people who all decide to be cruel it may take an entire mob of people to change that. Once you start letting the negative in and get to you it is so hard to change that.

Exactly.

The negative words that others use also reinforce those negative thoughts that you already have about yourself.

 

[John654321]

Have read other threads of yours and If you really think your ugly you need psychiatric help.

Your not ugly.

 

[Lilianna]

Have read other threads of yours and If you really think your ugly you need psychiatric help.

Your not ugly.

I second this^^^ As well as other posts that talk about there not being "ugly" people at all, just different, and there is something beautiful about every person I ever met.
OP by societies standards (cause lets face it the majority does judge by looks a lot), you are considered attractive, beautiful, good-looking, hot, what ever you want to call it.
So if you are concerned about the majority of people seeing you as good-looking, they do.
The only reason I can see that someone or more than one person would EVER say otherwise, is because
#1 they are jealous #2 you showed them some inner ugliness.
My guess is it's #1 just from the posts I have read of yours, you seem like a really nice guy.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I have used to do that... I cried so many times about my appearance. Then I just realized that I'm not ugly. We are all beautiful and handsome in our own ways. You can't change how you look, you're unique just as everyone else in this world. Head up and smile!

 

[Gondwanaland]

Do any of you ever get so upset about your appearance that all you can do is cry?

Yes, like me, at the moment. I hate myself!!! Everything about me is totally disgusting.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yes, like me, at the moment. I hate myself!!! Everything about me is totally disgusting.

Oh Gondwanaland *hugs*
Please don't say that. I don't think you're disgusting. :\

 

[Toby]

Iceman, I can relate to your feelings. People have said behind my back (thinking I couldn't hear them or just not caring if I could) that "gee, he's ugly!" It hurts...

If you want to cry, just cry. Let it all out. Face the fact that alot of people think you're ugly. You really must face it in order to overcome it.

Do you perceive yourself as ugly?

 

[Gondwanaland]

Oh Gondwanaland *hugs*
Please don't say that. I don't think you're disgusting. :\

You're so sweet, Lady...*hugs back*

 

[BrokenInside]

You are not ugly at all Iceman. I used to be like that. But you know what, having a beautiful heart that feels for others is way better than having a beautiful face that doesn't respect others feelings.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You are not ugly at all Iceman. I used to be like that. But you know what, having a beautiful heart that feels for others is way better than having a beautiful face that doesn't respect others feelings.

Agreed. +1