I make myself problems.

[SilentComfort]

Recently, i question what in my life are actually real problems or not.

I think the reason for this is because, i am getting aware of a weakness i have. I can get upset, worked up, over things that don't relate to me directly. I waste my time and energy on reacting to problems that aren't really problems.

I'm getting kind of confused to what i should react to, or not. Is it just a temptation that i should ignore?

I would rather have my focus on whatever real problems i might have.

Actually, as i'm writing this i realize i used to have a similar problem. I used to worry and bother myself with all kinds of problems in my mind. These could be regrets over small things, and questions to what is right and wrong. I would keep a certain problem in mind, and even if i tried to resolve it, it would still occupy me for a while. It would distract me from living my life and enjoying. I have been free from that recently, without any medication or anything like that.

This is different. In some cases its like i take someone else's situation and make it my problem. And if i choose to "rant" about it, it goes away after a while. I also worry about things which are related to me, but those are things i know come from fears and having a rather bad self-esteem.

I guess im just confused. Im more cautious now of what i choose to worry about. As a result, i have less "false" problems. But how do i know what are my real problems? I feel like the only times i know this, is when i shed tears. Which is not too often.

I should note that its been a year filled with personal changes for me. Maybe im just over-sensitive..

I would appreciate any thoughts.. anything. Thanks for reading these ramblings. Its not often im able to be this honest.

 

[Nina]

Silent--- with so little to go on and not knowing what circumstances and experiences live behind the events, or the "problems" it's hard to give thoughts on what might be valid or invalid and even when a lot of information is had it's still difficult for one person to evaluate validity for another.

The only thing I can offer in relation to what's a "real problem" If it is a person or situation which directly effects you or threatens your being, personal space, home, family or emotional security and there is something you can do to, resolve, remove or communicate the issue to someone who can, then it's real and deserves the contemplation and effort. If it is an issue you have NO contol over and doesn't threaten you personally then it may well be something you can try to dismiss.

I will say that if the thoughts are of you bringing harm to youself, others, property etc..Then it's important that you let others know you feel this way. Preferably someone who can aid you in ways other than just supportive words.

It does sound like you are aware and seeking answers to this and that is an EXCELLENT step in the right direction. Some folks are naturally more sensitive and hyper-aware of things around them and that can lead to worries about things beyound their control.

I hope you find your answers.

 

[SophiaGrace]

"I have no real problems. I just think I have them." -Anonymous

 

[SilentComfort]

Nina: Yes.. i didn't go into any specific examples for what i am thinking about, i now realize that :/

In my life's situation, there are things i would like to change. These are more like things i would like to see happen than things that needs to stop. Like other people here, im lonely/loner in my own way. Im trying to work on that. I used to worry a lot about my future. But now, i just try to spend my time wisely and i don't think or feel much concerning the future.. it is just unusual.

Maybe i should have thought a little more what exactly i wanted with this thread. I guess the original post was more of a monologue. I was a little curious if others have ever felt similar confusion. But i'm figuring it out.

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[Nina]

Silent-- You're post was fine, just needed a little "broadening" is all. We all worry about the future. Give it a few moments worth of thought and then bring your attention back to the moment you are in, cause you never get to live it again.

Being here is an excellent step towards getting, "out there" I've seen posters on this site make extraordinary progress in both being less shy and in personal growth in general, in a very short amount of time. Don't be afraid to jump in, have fun and reach out to folks. If you can become less of a loner here you can do it in life as well... No matter, who you speak with, every positive interaction breeds more confidence and if you bump into a negative one, it gives you practice on how to deal with those too. Negative moments happen to all of us from time to time, you just have to learn to move beyond it to the next positive moment, waiting for you down the road.

It does indeed sound like your moving in the right direction on your own. We're here to give you a hand if you need one....

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

Give it a few moments worth of thought and then bring your attention back to the moment you are in, cause you never get to live it again.

my favourite (but it was hard to choose really)

advice-wise i can't really add to nina's words. but your post makes me think of things that are beyond my control and how i feel about them. i did my taxes recently and was reminded that i have a massive debt with the government for my studies and loans i took out during that period in my early twenties.

i owe the govt. over 55 grand. the bastards. but as far as i'm concerned they will have to track me down, tranquilize me and collect the money by removing my organs and harvesting my bone marrow, plasma or whatever is worth any dosh on the black market.

they'd do it too, you know. you can tell by their shifty eyes and those necklaces of cheese they wear.

ok, i think i had a point when i started but i think it got away from me.

be kind to yourself. don't judge yourself too harshly. stay fresh