I need someone to understand..

[misunderstood112]

So yeah, I just turned 20 on may 8th, and sadly, ive never had a girlfriend. I don't want a pity party or anything, I just want people to hear me. Because no one else does.

When your alone, and all you want to do is be found, it really messes with your mind.. I mean.. I understand why I would want a girlfriend, I want someone that doesnt have to love me (IE family) to fall in love with me, that would be an accomplishment to me. And when I look at my life so far everything, or most of everything i've done is me trying to get a girlfriend. I mean i'm not entirely blaming this on the fact.. but I was kicked out of the military, why? Looking for a girlfriend.. I decided to go to raves, and take drugs because i thought maybe id find someone there. My best friend met the love of his life at one.. But not me, and yeah I got caught, so they kicked me out.

I literally have tried it all, and I get close.. but thats it. Usually from sites like myspace and myyearbook, because I am to much of a coward to ask a girl in person.. from fear of rejection. When I take a girl out, afterwards i feel like she never wants to see me again, and usually I never do. So it makes me feel like a freak. I dont know whats wrong with me honestly. I've never been called Ugly, but i've never really been called good looking either..

I'm not a virgin, but the experience I had really sucked and i still consider myself one. I hear all the time "Stop trying and they will come to you" well its hard not to try when its all you think about and its all you want is a relationship.. I cant even go out anymore.. because when I see guys with girls they probrably dont deserve, it makes me feel sick inside.. like why cant that be me?

I honestly fear that its gettin to late.. I mean, who wants to date the guy whose never been in a relationship? They will think there is something wrong with you.. and its scaring me to death. I really don't want this.. and I didnt choose this. I wont kill myself because im to afraid, but i really dont want to go on sitting idly by watching everyone else be happy..

Who else feels like this? Share with me so we can discuss this bullshit together, because its killing me inside, and I need help now.

 

[stella]

its interesting how many people equate happiness with being in a relationship. you have to be happy in your own self and life otherwise there is no point in even thinking of being in a relationship. if you link your entire sense of happiness with a relationship, if it fails you will crash, you will hit such a low you may not have the strength to carry on.

remember a relationship is meant to enhance your life not complete your life. see it as a bonus not a necessity.

i wish you luck.

 

[Gindu]

its not easy, but women want someone with a bit of 'swagger', i don't know you obviously but i can say, no matter what you think you are YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, when you come to terms with who you are, and have a bit of confidence you will meet the person for you, i recently made the mistake of caring about someone more then they did me, and thats when you get hurt.

build your confidence, hold your head up high, back strait and you will see that you are more attractive to the opposite sex then you previously realised.

good luck

-Kind Regards,
Gindu

 

[edgecrusher]

dont feel like its too late already. im at 28 and in the same position, i have never been in a relationship or even dated. i definitely know how you feel though.

---

its interesting how many people equate happiness with being in a relationship. you have to be happy in your own self and life otherwise there is no point in even thinking of being in a relationship. if you link your entire sense of happiness with a relationship, if it fails you will crash, you will hit such a low you may not have the strength to carry on.

remember a relationship is meant to enhance your life not complete your life. see it as a bonus not a necessity.

i wish you luck.

its funny because your not the only one ive seen say that. but i just want so badly someone to hold and be there for me. i have never really had a shoulder to cry on or anything. im in a rut in my life and part of it is because of being so lonely. i just feel like i need that someone to wake me up from this.

 

[drifter]

Boy ow boy. Welcome to the party man. I'm in the same boat as you.. don't you have a engine or sail or somethin? I'm getting ******* tired of rowing against the tide.

Almost your entire post it's me. I haven't found the answers for myself, so I wont certainly find the answers for you.. And maybe I'm asking the wrong questions too.. but, whatever. I feel like everyone who left this boat, don't understand us anymore man. And I don't blame them really, I dream with the day that I leave it too, this canoe of solitude :rolleyes2::

So hang in there buddy, everything will work out in the end. I promise =D

hugz.

 

[Mike Moose]

fresia knows dude..it's a bummer eh?...when some folks do get together it ends up being a power trip on who can control who..or people trying to get the other one to change who they are(or maybe I'm just paranoid)..to be honest as I'm 39 I'm sick of trying to meet the right 'one'..so right now I couldn't give a rats ass..I'm just gonna stick to who I am and do my thing and to hell with it all (hmmm grumpy mode)
Yes it sucks and loneliness is such a gnawing pile of shite I just hope that you have better luck than I have...,rant rant rant!!

 

[Gindu]

fresia knows dude..it's a bummer eh?...when some folks do get together it ends up being a power trip on who can control who..or people trying to get the other one to change who they are

spot on, this is exactly what happened for me last week, the key is to find the person who would be willing to change for YOU. and when that happens you function as a team, but only if you would return the favour, if not they don't know what they're missing

mike, you are a very wise man

-Kind Regards,
Gindu

 

[coricopat]

Your family doesn't HAVE to love you. Be grateful that yours does anyway.

Stella imparts much wisdom. While having someone fall in love with you is an accomplishment of sorts, there are many other accomplishments out there that can give you the same sense of pride and belonging. By ignoring all the others and demanding the romantic love one, you're only setting yourself up to be miserable. You have to take what life gives you instead of trying to force it to go a certain way.

 

[Mike Moose]

spot on, this is exactly what happened for me last week, the key is to find the person who would be willing to change for YOU. and when that happens you function as a team, but only if you would return the favour, if not they don't know what they're missing

hello Gindu..
..not sure If I fully understand..I wouldn't want anyone to change who they are for me..If I take a shine to someone it's because who they are already..All I ask for is that she treats me like her teddy bear at night..zzzzzzzzz

 

[Gindu]

spot on, this is exactly what happened for me last week, the key is to find the person who would be willing to change for YOU. and when that happens you function as a team, but only if you would return the favour, if not they don't know what they're missing

hello Gindu..
..not sure If I fully understand..I wouldn't want anyone to change who they are for me..If I take a shine to someone it's because who they are already..All I ask for is that she treats me like her teddy bear at night..zzzzzzzzz

sorry i tripped over my words, what i mean is that under no circumstances can either or both sides of the relationship be trying to gain the upper hand, when both sides are working towards each others as well as their own best interests you have a happy and successful relationship.

-Kind Regards,
Gindu

 

[Mike Moose]

sorry i tripped over my words, what i mean is that under no circumstances can either or both sides of the relationship be trying to gain the upper hand, when both sides are working towards each others as well as their own best interests you have a happy and successful relationship.

You said it Gindu! Hopefully we will make somebody very happy one day!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Being kicked out of the military for that is just not worth it in my eyes. But I agree with Stella. Relationships are a bonus, meant to enhance your life. However, everyone is different, and if you feel like you need to find a girlfriend right now at such a young age, then that's you. Honestly, you're still so very young. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll find what you're looking for when you least expect it.

Happy belated birthday.

 

[misunderstood112]

Well I thank you all for the replies. I am glad that there is more like me, you know. And Honestly, I doubt that half of us would care as much, but love and relationships is portrayed EVERYWHERE pretty much. The media is full of it. same with movies, same with the radio, so if we could somehow get away from it, i think we would be much more happy until the right one comes along for us. but unfortunately that wont happen and we have to live with this curse given to us.