Silvernight
Well-known member
This is not a suicide note for the record. But I really do want to die. I would be so so grateful if something/someone killed me right now. Coup de grace, know what I mean. I'd be singing praises to that person. The only thing I have to look forward to is a lifetime of misery and getting balder every day. All I have to hope for is that remaining lifetime would be really short. This is so disgusting. I feel trapped, no escape. I hardly have any optimism left. Every day is so much harder to pretend that I'm perfectly fine and happy, mind you I've been doing a pretty good job of it so far, in public anyway. I'd scare off everyone who's friendly to me if I gave any indication about how I feel. No one has a slightest idea, except my mother, and she's sick and tired of my complaining. It's pathetic, but I can't help it you see, when I'm literally about to climb walls. For how much longer is this gonna last? A few months? Another year? There is a psychological limit to everything and I'm reaching it. And I'm scared. The only thing I want is to curl up in dark place and die in sleep. But such miracles don't happen. Tell me it will be ok, please? I don't care how pathetic that sounds, I need this literally like a junkie. So I could pull through another day somehow.