I want to say goodbye to life :(

[troubled]

I almost cannot cope with this lonliness any more, and feeling lost and forgotten whilst everyone else moves on. On days like this I just don't know what to do with myself. My heart sinks when I see what others are doing.

I've got to force myself into finding some kind of job to escape the rut of benefits, and i've got to force myself to try and get back into university, to do something with my life. I just want to cry, it is so so hard being in isolation for years on end. I don't care if i sound like a pussy; the lonliness is crushing.

I'm 22 and I don't know who I am any more. I do a good job of hiding this from my parents but they only see that i'm quiet and subdued. In reality I am almost too numb to commit suicide, i'm trapped in apathy and numbness. I don't know what is holding me back from taking an overdose. I wish anyone was here so i could know that someone cares. I am totally alone in the world.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I almost cannot cope with this lonliness any more, and feeling lost and forgotten whilst everyone else moves on. On days like this I just don't know what to do with myself. My heart sinks when I see what others are doing.

I've got to force myself into finding some kind of job to escape the rut of benefits, and i've got to force myself to try and get back into university, to do something with my life. I just want to cry, it is so so hard being in isolation for years on end. I don't care if i sound like a pussy; the lonliness is crushing.

I'm 22 and I don't know who I am any more. I do a good job of hiding this from my parents but they only see that i'm quiet and subdued. In reality I am almost too numb to commit suicide, i'm trapped in apathy and numbness. I don't know what is holding me back from taking an overdose. I wish anyone was here so i could know that someone cares. I am totally alone in the world.

(((((((troubled))))))

Loneliness IS crushing! You should never feel bad because of the way it makes you feel! It sucks, plain and simple. It can have negative effects on every aspect of our lives. Maybe you should stop "hiding" it from your parents, etc. and possibly lean on then for a small bit of support. I don't know you nor them, but I'm a parent, so I know that parents will do almost anything to help their children when they are in need (that includes emotional need). As for what is holding you back from doing something drastic, I can only pray that it's because you still hold some small amount of hope for a better day, even if you don't realize it's the reason why.
You are correct...sometimes we have to FORCE ourselves to do the things we need to do so we can emerge from these dark periods in our lives. It's likely the most difficult task you will ever face, I'm sure.
Try to look forward to possible better days, once you've set yourself on the proper course for overcoming all the adversity in your life. As with anything, you have to work for it - nothing comes free, there is always a price. Your price will be pushing yourself to do what you feel you need to do to move forward. And in the end, won't the result be worth it?
Please try to hold on until you find brighter days - people DO care!

(((hugs)))

 

[Steel]

I can't put it any better than Eve did, but I wanted to post.

Hang on in there, and try to focus on your goals. Take care.

 

[Mike Moose]

oh dear! troubled
..i suggest if you can force yourself to do anything that will have you interacting with people then go for it!! I've forced myself to do things and it's kept me going..don't block the sadness,it's there for a reason even though sometimes the **** thing gets the upper hand..
Try not to compare yourself with others and do your thing.I hope you can conjure up some inner strength to move on from your present state of mind!

 

[SophiaGrace]

Troubled, i wish to share with you a quote that has helped me before when I've felt suicidal.

"Have the courage to live, anyone can die."
- Robert Cody

This one is also good:

Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn
Don't quit when the night is darkest
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is amost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
-Jill Wolf

Btw I reccomend you go to a therapist and allow them to help you. Antidepressants may help you get out of your hole...

 

[Buzzer]

One thing i can say is loneliness is only temporary until you meet the right group of people or even just one person i will be happy to chat to you whenever you feel lonely maybe we can cheer each other up i am off now but if you want a pm me i will happily reply and try and help you

 

[gals]

Hey, you're 22, the world is in your hands. Don't try to waste your life thinking about negativity. Who doesn't get lonely anyways? Don't we all? The difference is, how you cope with it and bounce back.
Smile!

At your age, try to focus on what you really want to do in your life. You're undergoing a quarter life crisis. Have you ever realized that you're luckier than anyone on this earth? The mere fact that you were able to post in this forum (you have internet access and you're a well functioning human being--you can SEE!) Some would definitely want to trade places with you--how many of us want to be 22 again? How I wish I was your age all over again and maybe I can be a better me.

Maybe all you focus about your life is negativity. Try to focus on what you got. Others are in worse shape than you are.

Your LIFE is waiting. Welcome it with open arms.

 

[Luna]

I know the feeling...
Please don't give up...

 

[Bluey]

I almost cannot cope with this lonliness any more, and feeling lost and forgotten whilst everyone else moves on. On days like this I just don't know what to do with myself. My heart sinks when I see what others are doing.

I've got to force myself into finding some kind of job to escape the rut of benefits, and i've got to force myself to try and get back into university, to do something with my life. I just want to cry, it is so so hard being in isolation for years on end. I don't care if i sound like a pussy; the lonliness is crushing.

I'm 22 and I don't know who I am any more. I do a good job of hiding this from my parents but they only see that i'm quiet and subdued. In reality I am almost too numb to commit suicide, i'm trapped in apathy and numbness. I don't know what is holding me back from taking an overdose. I wish anyone was here so i could know that someone cares. I am totally alone in the world.

HAY, getting out of the rut of benefits and finding the motivation to do that is not easy of this I know.

This reminds me of a girl I Sew on the news not long back.
She had finished uni about a year ago with a degree in something.
She could not find a job.
She was a good looking young girl that also was intelligent.
To the outside world and ppl like me she looked like she had the world at her feet.
But she could not handle not having a job and after so many interviews she killed herself.
You may have seen it on the news about a month ago since you are slso from the UK.

You have to learn to give yourself a break man.
Try and not be so hard on yourself. Especially in to days world with things being as they are.
Only then by being moor laid back with in yourself can you become happier.
Then hopefully you well feel moor positive about things and be moor motivated to do what ever it is in life you wish to do.

Its difficult to look at our own problems and thoughts from an out side view.
Try and give it ago though huh.

My hart gows out to you. As am sure everyone's dose here.
But yes I agree also that maybe you should try and share this feelings with your parents or some other person in your life that you feel you are close to. It has to be better surly to do that be for you try anything silly.

 

[Haz]

probably a year ago I attempted suicide (I was 22 as well) feeling a similar loneliness, apathy and discontent to what you described

just try and lighten up a little, if you can appreciate it as solitude reaching out to other people becomes easier as you feel more comfortable with yourself. remember, generalising that everyone else is out having fun whilst your life is going nowhere is the wrong frame of mind, the grass isn't always greener on the other side and there will always be a struggle of some sort and demons to face for everyone.

be happy with what you've got, i'm sure you have plenty and don't even realise it

 

[lomojojo]

I almost cannot cope with this lonliness any more, and feeling lost and forgotten whilst everyone else moves on. On days like this I just don't know what to do with myself. My heart sinks when I see what others are doing.

I've got to force myself into finding some kind of job to escape the rut of benefits, and i've got to force myself to try and get back into university, to do something with my life. I just want to cry, it is so so hard being in isolation for years on end. I don't care if i sound like a pussy; the lonliness is crushing.

I'm 22 and I don't know who I am any more. I do a good job of hiding this from my parents but they only see that i'm quiet and subdued. In reality I am almost too numb to commit suicide, i'm trapped in apathy and numbness. I don't know what is holding me back from taking an overdose. I wish anyone was here so i could know that someone cares. I am totally alone in the world.

I care!!! as well as many other people. Probably in your state is hard to see but we do. I"ve had those thoughts too and here I am at 39.

 

[Interlocutor]

I almost cannot cope with this lonliness any more, and feeling lost and forgotten whilst everyone else moves on. On days like this I just don't know what to do with myself. My heart sinks when I see what others are doing.

I've got to force myself into finding some kind of job to escape the rut of benefits, and i've got to force myself to try and get back into university, to do something with my life. I just want to cry, it is so so hard being in isolation for years on end. I don't care if i sound like a pussy; the lonliness is crushing.

I'm 22 and I don't know who I am any more. I do a good job of hiding this from my parents but they only see that i'm quiet and subdued. In reality I am almost too numb to commit suicide, i'm trapped in apathy and numbness. I don't know what is holding me back from taking an overdose. I wish anyone was here so i could know that someone cares. I am totally alone in the world.

Hey, There's been lots of great, albeit simple, advice from others so far.
I'm 32 and have struggled with numbness and apathy due to depression etc., ever since I was a teenager. First off, you must remember that the only universal law that is undeniable is the Law of Impermanence. Simply put, nothing, and I mean nothing, ever remains the same. Change is constant. Being in a rut will end too. And over time many issues facing you will become easier to deal with; I'm living proof of that.
As a matter of fact, I am again in a rut and feeling crappy etc etc. But each time I get depressed or in a rut, it is always easier to deal with than before.

One major piece of advice I have, that may be really hard to follow when you're in the depths of doom, is to find 'something,' ANYTHING that you can immerse yourself in. Whether it be drawing, taking photographs, or maybe learning about something that interests you, just start doing it.
It can be anything at all really, as long as it is something that you enjoy, or think that you might enjoy doing.
For me, it's drawing/painting. It can be really tough if you're depressed to find the motivation to do it, which is why you should try to pick something that really appeals to you. After you start engaging yourself in the "interest" you have picked, the passion and motivation for it will gradually follow and it will begin to break some (if not most) of your apathy.

All in all, just remember like the previous poster said: The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Many people appear to be happy and "moving on" as you put it, but in reality they are struggling with their own demons.
It's important to NOT compare yourself to others. This isn't a competition.
And you are definitely not alone in what you're feeling.

 

[MovingForward]

I know a few have said it already but in addition to finding things to involve yourself in, you really should consider seeking some form of counseling, and get checked out for any number of treatable mental illnesses that could be feeding this mindset. If you're at the point where you're feeling suicidal, you've got a serious problem and it needs to be addressed immediately. It may seem like bullshit but there are people who care. Do not give up. Try suicide hotlines. Let people (especially your parents if you're on good terms with them) know you feel this way, if they don't react well then fresia em. Your health and happiness are priority one.

 

[budsalinger]

Please don't give up. I know this was from from 6 days ago but I looked and you haven't been online since. Are you ok? Please give some response...

Look. People you know might not be around. You may be friendless. But people do care. I promise. I know this because I care and I've never spoken to or met you. Sincerely.

You are not alone in the world, just your part of it. We're here with you just not with you, I'm sorry. I wish I could scoop up all of us lonely people in the world and bring us to another planet where we could live alone together (check out Miles Davis: Blue Moods) and not be lonely anymore.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Please post to let us know you are alright

 

[Sand Dollar]

Toubled,

I have been where you are, Just make small changes. I have volunteered with childrens groups and that helps. You see the best of who people are with kids. Maybe if you help some lonely child it will help you, You are not giving yourself enough credit .You are here for a reason and the whole universe took part in your arrival here. You have no idea how great you are. There are others who need you desperately . You can save them and you! You are a good soul who just needs a little help. Don't forget to pray. I promise it will help. Maybe if you tell your parents how you feel they will want to help you. You may help them and they may open up to you about things they are sad about they have been hiding. Don't give up. I'll send you my email address if you need a penapl. I KNOW you will be great!! I will say a prayer for you now. NEVER GIVE UP. Life needs you. So many people do . You might be surprised.

Best,

SD