If a crystal ball told you this what would you do?

[Alonewith2cats]

I know nobody wants this, neither do I, but if it were to be true is there a way to accept it and be happy for the rest of your life? Imagine this:

A crystal ball tells you that you will be single for the rest of your life. You can pretty much throw any fantasies of romantic love and/or marriage out the window. You cannot expect to find a member of the opposite sex to kiss, cuddle with or be emotionally intimate (not in the romantic sense, maybe you'll find a friend who is like a brother or sister to you) or sexually intimate with ever again for the rest of your life. It's just not going to happen for you, period. You have to accept this fact for all eternity.

What would you do to make yourself happy in spite of this? I want to know how I can prepare myself for this possibility. I will not have sex without being in committed relationship because sex without love does not make me feel good, it actually makes me feel like crap so celibacy is the way to go for me if I never get lucky in love. So I'm trying to figure out alternative ways to find happiness and fulfillment in my life not just temporarily but permanently, just in case I have to. Any thoughts? How would you live your life if this was going to be your reality starting from now until death by old age?

I would probably have to make many, many massage therapy appointments just to satisfy my aching need for touch, and then I would try to seek out friendships and community through approriate groups and/or organizations, find something to volunteer my time for and do anything and everything that gives me pleasure or enjoyment (non-sexual of course).

 

[LonelySutton]

It's just not going to happen for you, period. You have to accept this fact for all eternity.What would you do to make yourself happy in spite of this? I want to know how I can prepare myself for this possibility.

I feel like I already know this. I always have. I think it isn't going to happen for me.. due to me. So I can say it is time to accept it.

a. pet.
b. someway to make your mark in this world... important job or such.
c. porn (tasteful of course) romantic movies / romantic novels -- shipping tv couples.
d. celebrating all that you can do since you are not tied down... travel, doing what you want on the weekends.
e. The internet? Message boards etc.

I think after a certain age your sex drive drives down so I think it won't be that long to get through.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

It's just not going to happen for you, period. You have to accept this fact for all eternity.What would you do to make yourself happy in spite of this? I want to know how I can prepare myself for this possibility.

I feel like I already know this. I always have. I think it isn't going to happen for me.. due to me. So I can say it is time to accept it.

a. pet.
b. someway to make your mark in this world... important job or such.
c. porn (tasteful of course) romantic movies / romantic novels -- shipping tv couples.
d. celebrating all that you can do since you are not tied down... travel, doing what you want on the weekends.
e. The internet? Message boards etc.

I think after a certain age your sex drive drives down so I think it won't be that long to get through.

It's a matter of mind. Some people do manage to keep a sex drive even after menopause, i read about it in the Joy of Sex, but there is no point if you don't have an outlet to release it. Romantic movies? Doesn't that cause wishful thinking?

 

[LonelySutton]

Romantic movies? Doesn't that cause wishful thinking?

If I can't get it good to see someone else get it...

 

[Surcruxum]

Being single for the rest of my life doesn't really bother me at all

 

[Boreal]

I know your username is Alonewith2cats, but I'd suggest a dog. If you adopt a rescue dog, you can ask about which ones are known to be friendly to cats and have affectionate personalities. Those dogs thrive on cuddling and playing, while cats will be more finicky about anything beyond having their ears and bellies rubbed now and then.

Supposedly dog owners get on great and may arrange playdates for their pets, too.

 

[VeganAtheist]

Being complete honest here. If I were told that, I might just completely give up on life. I won't commit suicide but I probably wouldn't put in any effort toward... anything really. I would let my health decline, become a recluse and probably an alcoholic (if I can ever stop hating the taste of alcohol).

I admit that this is an unhealthy way of thinking.

 

[beautiful loser]

Pffft, living it right now and getting so used to it. I have plenty of things/hobbies/projects to occupy my time. Plus, having a dog is good company. I think I might be in the minority, but I really think I was meant to be single.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

That's gonna be one sorry-ass crystal ball when it finds itself at the bottom of the Marianas Trench for trying to mess with my head that way

Seriously though- the chance of me paying attention to the prediction of that kind of fate are slim to non. I've simply got no intention of going the rest of my life without some sexy good times whether I'm in a committed relationship or not- self-denial sucks.

---

I think after a certain age your sex drive drives down so I think it won't be that long to get through.

Blaspheme!

 

[Peaches]

I guess that prediction is true and unavoidable for many people with some serious deformity or disfigurement, even if the possibility of finding love is always there, the chances of finding sexual satisfaction for that segment of population are quite slim.
So, the question is rather: what if that happened to us? (feel free to knock on wood) what if we were only given one slice of a full life and we had to make the most of it? What to do? Take it or leave it? I guess anyone would react differently, and only a few would be able to enjoy the little that is given.

For able-bodies the stakes are raised: if even some seriously deformed people can find love, why can't they? if those people don't give up hope, can able-bodies hang on to hope as well?
What I believe is that hope is a choice. But it does take a lot of energy, so it's not a choice for everyone.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I guess that prediction is true and unavoidable for many people with some serious deformity or disfigurement, even if the possibility of finding love is always there, the chances of finding sexual satisfaction for that segment of population are quite slim.
So, the question is rather: what if that happened to us? (feel free to knock on wood) what if we were only given one slice of a full life and we had to make the most of it? What to do? Take it or leave it? I guess anyone would react differently, and only a few would be able to enjoy the little that is given.

For able-bodies the stakes are raised: if even some seriously deformed people can find love, why can't they? if those people don't give up hope, can able-bodies hang on to hope as well?
What I believe is that hope is a choice. But it does take a lot of energy, so it's not a choice for everyone.

Well, you pointed out something for me to be grateful for. I don't have a deformity or disfigurement of any kind. I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds but I'm otherwise reasonably attractive. Maybe it's because I'm 40 but for some unexplained reason it's so extremely difficult for me to find quality men to date that it feels like an impossibility and a very strong likelihood that I will remain a singleton for the rest of my life so I'm trying to brainstorm and explore ways to accept this possibility if I have to and live a happy life anyway, how can I transform dealing with loneliness every day from my living alone with 2 cats lifestyle to being content with the way it is and reducing this strong feeling of wanting. Of course I still have hope, I will never give up hope but I want to fall back on something in case this hope is never satisfied.

 

[Batman55]

Scratch that...

Anyway, I expect it may turn out this way for moi as well. I suppose I should find more hobbies, as a preparation.

 

[Tiina63]

I have started to think that never marrying may happen to me as well, as although I am still hoping to find someone, I must admit that now I am into my midfifties, it may well not happen.
Vegan Atheist-I can identify with what you say. Part of me is thinking every day that I would rather not be here. Although I may enjoy a good book or TV show and push the loneliness and emptiness aside for a while, it is always there, gnawing at my heart and soul, the longing not to be alone any more, wanting so much to matter to someone.
Peaches-that is a good way to put it, getting only a slice of a full life and not the whole thing. I don't feel happy on my own. If I had family, then I would more easily accept being single for life, but on my own I find it impossible to accept.
Alonewithtwocats-I wouldn't give up if I were you on finding someone. I have read a lot of your posts and have found you to be a caring and understanding person and feel that there will be someone out there who will appreciate what you have to offer.

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By the way, can I add here that I would also smash the damned crystal ball!!

 

[ladyforsaken]

For me, I don't know how much I would believe a crystal ball but let's just say that it's saying the truth. Then I'll find other things I love and enjoy doing and do them for the rest of my life and I will just travel my ass off.

That's gonna be one sorry-ass crystal ball when it finds itself at the bottom of the Marianas Trench for trying to mess with my head that way

Hahaha. Thanks. That made my sad self laugh.

I guess that prediction is true and unavoidable for many people with some serious deformity or disfigurement, even if the possibility of finding love is always there, the chances of finding sexual satisfaction for that segment of population are quite slim.
So, the question is rather: what if that happened to us? (feel free to knock on wood) what if we were only given one slice of a full life and we had to make the most of it? What to do? Take it or leave it? I guess anyone would react differently, and only a few would be able to enjoy the little that is given.

For able-bodies the stakes are raised: if even some seriously deformed people can find love, why can't they? if those people don't give up hope, can able-bodies hang on to hope as well?
What I believe is that hope is a choice. But it does take a lot of energy, so it's not a choice for everyone.

Wow Peaches.. you sound like true professor here and you're right. It is something to think about.

 

[Grackle]

Alonewithtwocats-I wouldn't give up if I were you on finding someone. I have read a lot of your posts and have found you to be a caring and understanding person and feel that there will be someone out there who will appreciate what you have to offer.

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By the way, can I add here that I would also smash the damned crystal ball!!

---

I would say that you too (from your posts) are a caring and understanding person so don't give up hope either.

 

[Triple Bogey]

It hurt me 20 years ago more than it does now.
I think all the suggestions are good especially the pets one.
If you add a boring job into the mix (like mine) things could get a bit bleak.
But having a lot of hobbies and interests does help.

---

I don't think anybody should give up completely though.
You don't know what is around the corner.
Don't have an attitude that turns somebody away, however hard it is, try to keep positive and happy !

 

[RockerChick]

I think I might be in the minority, but I really think I was meant to be single.

Actually, I am in the same boat as you when it comes to the above statement. Which definitely is a minority issue.

Being single gives me a feeling of liberation. Can it get lonely? Yes. Does it have to be lonely? No. I have plenty of social obligations that keep me going. And ending my day with an empty bed isn't too bad. No one steals my covers

 

[Peaches]

For me, I don't know how much I would believe a crystal ball but let's just say that it's saying the truth. Then I'll find other things I love and enjoy doing and do them for the rest of my life and I will just travel my ass off.

That's gonna be one sorry-ass crystal ball when it finds itself at the bottom of the Marianas Trench for trying to mess with my head that way

Hahaha. Thanks. That made my sad self laugh.

I guess that prediction is true and unavoidable for many people with some serious deformity or disfigurement, even if the possibility of finding love is always there, the chances of finding sexual satisfaction for that segment of population are quite slim.
So, the question is rather: what if that happened to us? (feel free to knock on wood) what if we were only given one slice of a full life and we had to make the most of it? What to do? Take it or leave it? I guess anyone would react differently, and only a few would be able to enjoy the little that is given.

For able-bodies the stakes are raised: if even some seriously deformed people can find love, why can't they? if those people don't give up hope, can able-bodies hang on to hope as well?
What I believe is that hope is a choice. But it does take a lot of energy, so it's not a choice for everyone.

Wow Peaches.. you sound like true professor here and you're right. It is something to think about.

ahahah, NOOO! not a professor!!

 

[lonelyfairy]

Nun in the convent. Lol, maybe not... But I would be very lost with myself and life. No purpose to live.

 

[Peaches]

actually I am half way to becoming a nun, for real, only I have to find the right convent, and they have to allow me to make music (for buddhist nuns, that is forbidden)