when im drunk my social anxiety, depression and self esteem problems seem to melt away. I can actually talk to people the way I want to-the way im too scared to when im sober. I realize I don't want to be dependent on alcohol but it just seems to cure my issues better than any medication. I actually dont drink often at all-very rarely really but when I start actually talking with people it makes me want to do it more often. People actually like me when I'm drunk. Anyone else deal with this?
im a better version of myself when im drunk
- Thread starter loadedgun
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Mouse
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It is not a good idea to log into the forum when "drunk" as it could lead to many misunderstandings. I do not support the view that alcohol is the answer to one's social and personal problems, but however, I do welcome you as a fellow forumer.
Anna Mouse
Anna Mouse
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SophiaGrace
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Welcome to alonelylife. May you find happiness and answers to your state of being.
wolvesjr
Well-known member
Welcome to the forum loadedgun. I hope you can find some of the answers you are looking for.
Despicable Me
Well-known member
It is a cognitive fallacy that 'you are better when you're drunk'.
The alleviation from stress induced by the alcohol, and from the placebo effect of believing that alcohol makes you more interesting, leads you to believing yourself to be more interesting. Further impacted by the fact that alcohol tends to alter your perceptions while influenced by it, making you believe that being drunk makes you more interesting because you perceive yourself to be more interesting, not necessarily others believing this. Your inhibitions are also weakened by alcohol allowing you to do the things you wish to do but are otherwise too afraid to do.
Therefore the only thing really separating you from this 'better version' is not the alcohol itself but your belief that you can't be this person when you're not drunk.
In a psychological sense, you are escaping from reality through alcohol when in fact the true problem lies only in your dependence on this alcohol, rather than simply developing some self-esteem and removing your own inhibitions without it.
The solution to your problems is therefore fairly straightforward: All you need to do is relax and not let your fears get in the way of who you really want to be. The alcohol is merely just an excuse to be more like that person, so the dependence on it is completely unnecessary. Merely realize the truth: You are already that person.
The alleviation from stress induced by the alcohol, and from the placebo effect of believing that alcohol makes you more interesting, leads you to believing yourself to be more interesting. Further impacted by the fact that alcohol tends to alter your perceptions while influenced by it, making you believe that being drunk makes you more interesting because you perceive yourself to be more interesting, not necessarily others believing this. Your inhibitions are also weakened by alcohol allowing you to do the things you wish to do but are otherwise too afraid to do.
Therefore the only thing really separating you from this 'better version' is not the alcohol itself but your belief that you can't be this person when you're not drunk.
In a psychological sense, you are escaping from reality through alcohol when in fact the true problem lies only in your dependence on this alcohol, rather than simply developing some self-esteem and removing your own inhibitions without it.
The solution to your problems is therefore fairly straightforward: All you need to do is relax and not let your fears get in the way of who you really want to be. The alcohol is merely just an excuse to be more like that person, so the dependence on it is completely unnecessary. Merely realize the truth: You are already that person.
loadedgun said:
Yes, definitely. I find it very hard to talk with someone new when I am sober because I think, they will think I am stupid or an idiot. I don't need to be drunk, just have had a couple. I just lose the fear and I wish I was able to do it without a drink. People seem completely disinterested in me unless I have had a drink but that's probably my perception.
I don't drink much these days, so consequently, I don't talk to many new people either.
W
WallflowerGirl83
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Welcome! 
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
loadedgun said:
Those problems don't melt away, they are still there and will still be there when you are sober. You can do everything you want to do when you are sober, you just have to be open to letting it happen and let go of whatever is holding you back.
You don't have to drink all the time to be an alcoholic, just be aware of that. As for people liking you when you are drunk....do they REALLY like you or do they like what the drink makes you do? If people only like you when you are drunk, they don't really like you at all.
BeyondShy said:
Please don't. It's not worth it.
Choose life! haha.
I'm the same. I think it's ok to accept that sometimes drinking in company makes it easier to socialise, after all that's a big part of why most people drink.
However you have to remember that when you're hungover it in all likelihood excaberates any anxiety, that's how it's suppose to work and how it works for me.
Also have to remember that long term alcohol use will make any anxiety worse not better, plus if you did get addicted it's a severely nasty drug with some horrible, terminal affects a long way down the line, and that alcohol addiction is creeping thing, best not to drink alone (that's what I've been stopping/ trying to stop doing haha).
Worked with someone today who has hep b, liver cirrohsis, aenemea and a build of toxic fluid that has to be drained thru a tap in his stomach, as a result of long term alcoholism.
Sorry prolly a bit overly dramatic but it's the creeping addiction bit with alcohol that really freaks me out, think it's good to remember the end stages of not giving a fresia and over indulgence as it helps keep us on the straight n narrow
I'm the same. I think it's ok to accept that sometimes drinking in company makes it easier to socialise, after all that's a big part of why most people drink.
However you have to remember that when you're hungover it in all likelihood excaberates any anxiety, that's how it's suppose to work and how it works for me.
Also have to remember that long term alcohol use will make any anxiety worse not better, plus if you did get addicted it's a severely nasty drug with some horrible, terminal affects a long way down the line, and that alcohol addiction is creeping thing, best not to drink alone (that's what I've been stopping/ trying to stop doing haha).
Worked with someone today who has hep b, liver cirrohsis, aenemea and a build of toxic fluid that has to be drained thru a tap in his stomach, as a result of long term alcoholism.
Sorry prolly a bit overly dramatic but it's the creeping addiction bit with alcohol that really freaks me out, think it's good to remember the end stages of not giving a fresia and over indulgence as it helps keep us on the straight n narrow
TheWalkingDead
Well-known member
I experienced this when I was younger - the problem was I could never stick to a few drinks and went from being quiet and shy to thoroughly obnoxious, rude and on occasion violent. Waking up wondering what I'd actually done the night before because I couldn't actually remember was never a good place to be, though there were those who found this quite funny and entertaining.
I drank for many years, not just for social courage but to cover up a lot of bad feelings, it was a big psychological addiction.
Thankfully I no longer drink, and no longer need it in order to socialise. In fact I pretty much hate its effects - weird turnaround!
I drank for many years, not just for social courage but to cover up a lot of bad feelings, it was a big psychological addiction.
Thankfully I no longer drink, and no longer need it in order to socialise. In fact I pretty much hate its effects - weird turnaround!
TropicalStarfish
Well-known member
It's been called liquid courage for many many years for a reason. If it helps, go for it. If it doesn't help, it's not helping. Alcohol, from my view, is most beneficial as a social lubricant.
Personally I abhor alcohol... However, it can not be denied that the majority of this country is built upon the hard work, pain and suffering, that probably could not have been endured with out the mind numbing bliss of retarding your frontal cortex to the point what you are doing some how seems logical. That's just my jaded world view, however.
If you are trying to escape something that is a core essential of who you are by using it, it probably won't end well in the end. One could argue, what does end well in the end? Some things do end well, though. Where ever you go, there you will be...
I wish I could decide one way or the other, but I suppose wisdom dictates such decisions, and that can only be derived from experience.
I've often thought I was a better person on different substances. I'd like to think I was... However, that's not very fair to the people who may have liked me for who I was, and it certaintly isn't fair to the part of me that loves myself for who I am, irregardless of, 'who', I actually 'feel and think' as though I am, at ANY particular moment, from the time of my first memory up until the present.
I suppose, in the end, the true sage is completely independent, in that he/she depends on nothing. He/she is one with the current of the river. He/she is the salmon in the stream. If it is time to drink, he/she drinks, but if it is time to swim up stream, he/she only needs the strength of their own will to propel themselves upstream. The sage nourishes the body, but can starve if it is required. The sage can love and be loved, but only needs the light in their own heart.
I think sages are far and few between, but I suspect for those of us who are not, the best advice tends to come from those who have good advice to give...
I am not a sage. Good luck to you.
Personally I abhor alcohol... However, it can not be denied that the majority of this country is built upon the hard work, pain and suffering, that probably could not have been endured with out the mind numbing bliss of retarding your frontal cortex to the point what you are doing some how seems logical. That's just my jaded world view, however.
If you are trying to escape something that is a core essential of who you are by using it, it probably won't end well in the end. One could argue, what does end well in the end? Some things do end well, though. Where ever you go, there you will be...
I wish I could decide one way or the other, but I suppose wisdom dictates such decisions, and that can only be derived from experience.
I've often thought I was a better person on different substances. I'd like to think I was... However, that's not very fair to the people who may have liked me for who I was, and it certaintly isn't fair to the part of me that loves myself for who I am, irregardless of, 'who', I actually 'feel and think' as though I am, at ANY particular moment, from the time of my first memory up until the present.
I suppose, in the end, the true sage is completely independent, in that he/she depends on nothing. He/she is one with the current of the river. He/she is the salmon in the stream. If it is time to drink, he/she drinks, but if it is time to swim up stream, he/she only needs the strength of their own will to propel themselves upstream. The sage nourishes the body, but can starve if it is required. The sage can love and be loved, but only needs the light in their own heart.
I think sages are far and few between, but I suspect for those of us who are not, the best advice tends to come from those who have good advice to give...
I am not a sage. Good luck to you.
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