I'm the bad guy

[TheSkaFish]

Being bad could mean anything though. I know what you're thinking but I also believe it helps to be bad in business, bad in any kind of interpersonal environment. Everything is competition. Everything is a constant test to see where you are in the pecking order. That pack stuff, it's real. I tried denying it and look where it got me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Nothing is a competition (except actual competitions, of course) unless you make it one.

 

[Rainbows]

Ska,

Are you almost finished? I honestly didn't fully read the entire thread but I can almost guess what you are writing. Okay. Let's start off. I don't know if you're going to read what I'm going to say but.. Why do you have this obsessive need to label people and put them in one small box? I'm growing really tired of seeing you do this EVERY SINGLE time.

Wake up, the world doesn't revolve around these so called "bad boys" and their "they get to pick and I don't."

Good things come to people who work hard.
Work hard = go to college and/or work hard, who keep pushing alot of hours, who try their best in everything they do.

LIFE IS NOT A COMPETITION.
People aren't boxes. People aren't 'good' or 'bad'. Have you never done anything you regret? Do you think all people in prison are bad people?
I think you need to watch Orange is the new black.

I'm not going to say I'm a good person, and I know a bunch of people who aren't good people either, but I wish them all the best. And as long as you keep trying to be a good person, THAT is what makes you a good person. Not your opinion on them.

There's no order in life. Just different ranks of working capability. So if you want to be "a better person", then go out and do something.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Ska,

Good things come to people who work hard.
Work hard = go to college and/or work hard, who keep pushing alot of hours, who try their best in everything they do.

I don't know though. I see a lot of people working hard, but only very few get good things. I would even say the majority of people work hard, and yet, nothing seems to really work out for them. They don't have anything or anyone good. They just get kicked from one compromise to the next. They've got no say.

Are they not trying their best, or is it that their best simply isn't and never will be good enough?

And then there's some who don't work very hard, only to get good things anyway.

Have you never done anything you regret?

Yes, but none of it was against the law.

There's no order in life. Just different ranks of working capability. So if you want to be "a better person", then go out and do something.

See that's it. I think I'm one of those who could work hard until he is blue in the face, and things wouldn't really be any better than they are now. I'm like most people, where things just don't work out no matter what I try. I'd like to believe my hard work would make a difference but I really don't think it would. Especially this late in the game. There's people who are good enough to get what they want, and then there's the rest for whom no amount of work will help them - and I'm in the latter category, I'm afraid.

 

[TheRealCallie]

 

[VanillaCreme]

Ska, please stop turning every thread into your woe-is-me. Please. The majority of us tell you the same, sound advice, and you never care. I don't know if you're seeking attention or if you want us all to say you're right. I don't know, and I don't care. Most of us probably won't ever agree with your ideals. It's fine if you have them. Be however you want. It's not going to affect any of us. But don't think we're all going to toss red rose petals at your feet while the "good guy" cape is blowing behind you as you fly off to fight the injustices of the world. It. Doesn't. Work. That. Way.

I can honestly say that I am tired of it. If you're not going to listen to anyone's advice, fine. We can't make you. But please stop doing this in every thread.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Very well.

 

[LonelySutton]

Ska, please stop turning every thread into your woe-is-me. Please. The majority of us tell you the same, sound advice, and you never care.

Ok I came late to the party and I don't know Ska, but geeze is this really necessary? If you don't want to indulge is tendencys just ignore his posts. At least he isn't rude and following people around and taking shots at them.. like a certain poster did in another thread today. Just saying.

 

[EveWasFramed]

If you don't want to indulge is tendencys just ignore his posts.

Vanilla is a moderator and part of that duty is preventing threads from devolving or being hijacked, so to speak. She's doing what she's suppose to be doing by telling him to stop (he's already been told to).

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ska, please stop turning every thread into your woe-is-me. Please. The majority of us tell you the same, sound advice, and you never care.

Ok I came late to the party and I don't know Ska, but geeze is this really necessary? If you don't want to indulge is tendencys just ignore his posts. At least he isn't rude and following people around and taking shots at them.. like a certain poster did in another thread today. Just saying.

He has been rude before. And when he hijacks every single thread for his own purposes and never listens to anything anyone says, it gets very tedious. So, my opinion only, but yes, it is necessary.

 

[LonelySutton]

And when he hijacks every single thread for his own purposes and never listens to anything anyone says, it gets very tedious. So, my opinion only, but yes, it is necessary.

But can't you just hit the ignore button? Problem solved.

 

[EveWasFramed]

And when he hijacks every single thread for his own purposes and never listens to anything anyone says, it gets very tedious. So, my opinion only, but yes, it is necessary.

But can't you just hit the ignore button? Problem solved.

Until someone quotes them.

The "problem" is solved then the poster follows the moderator's instructions.

 

[ardour]

Assertiveness only works if you are one of the chosen few who people want to be assertive. Your connected or good looking or somesuch. Otherwise, your just a crazy fool that needs "counseling".

Different standards apply to different people it seems. I've been around many women who got offended or annoyed at the smallest things, constantly feeling like I was having to walk on egg shells - only to come across their male friends or boyfriends and find what utter arseholes they were. Difference between them and myself? They were attractive and fitted into the social circle. They could do no wrong.

If you're unattractive you have act in a very bland manner, which effectively fences off your personality. Opinionated - hell no - you can't even have opinions, nor show much emotion, just fade into the background, so as not to "bother" anyone.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you're unattractive you have act in a very bland manner. . .

What?

 

[ardour]

What?

Women fear any sort of attention from someone like me. The only way to allay these fears is to be excessively polite, not share opinions, personal thoughts or display emotion, basically make it clear you're not assuming any level of familiarity.

 

[stork_error]

I'm still following this post, and just want to say that i still agree with everything sutton has said.

There are in fact real live factual scientific studdies out there that have proven the things she has stated

Firstly studdies prove :

That children who look at pictures of teachers think the teachers with pretty faces are "nicer".

and also

That employers percieve thier bullies as more skillful and better workers

What does this mean? it means that
pretty = nice
bully = skiled

You cant unsee these facts, because the study of human psychology is a science and here in those studdies, it has presented the facts.

Further to this, psychology studdies have also proven that certain industries workplaces are more subject to having psychopaths and narcissists in them.

And with that being said, being a kind genuine person, in a place of annimals, you're almost sure to get your soul chewed off.

My experience, and suttons experience is based on observation, experience and findings of scientific evidence confirming what we have discovered.

To the poster who mentioned not wanting to hang around someone like Sutton… to me, she's a breath of fresh air, because she has her eyes wide open and I greatly appreciate her support and friendship.

---

Further to this, on the flipside, there are also problems with being attractive, especially if you are also intelligent. Not to mention there are also problems with being intelligent, especially if you are efficient. Jealousy and envy in the mind of the wrong insecure person can ruin your entire career.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Where are these studies? I would like to read them.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Women fear any sort of attention from someone like me. The only way to allay these fears is to be excessively polite, not share opinions, personal thoughts or display emotion, basically make it clear you're not assuming any level of familiarity.

I don't see why they would, especially if they don't know you. Walking up to a person, smiling or saying hello to them doesn't automatically induce fear in the person.

 

[stork_error]

Where are these studies? I would like to read them.

Sure, i believe i have the bully one, and the other was a very long time ago. Gimme a bit to dig em up

---

http://mgt.buffalo.edu/faculty/academic/resources/faculty/darrent/bullyingstudy

http://www.workplacebullying.org/2013/05/27/treadway/

Thats to get started

edit -

Hey i tried looking for the other study and i found a lot of similar stuff but cant find that exact one, then after reading the other stuff i got really pissed off at humans and now i need a break. I'll post other stuff if i get a chance. right now im annoyed and ashamed to be a human

 

[Sci-Fi]

In my last workplace the employer was the bully. His most skilled workers where some of the nicest guys you could ever meet. One would literally give you the shirt of his back if you asked.