Matt L
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- Joined
- Jul 29, 2015
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Context. I'm 23, I've only had 2 dates my whole life and they went nowhere and I've never been intimate with a woman in any way. She's 27, has a boyfriend and I'm certain she's had plenty of experience.
She got the job 2 months ago and shortly after I asked her out for lunch with me, knowing beforehand she was taken. I knew I'd be rejected but I just wanted to introduce myself and make it known to her that I'm interested should she become availiable. She agreed to go out as friends and since then we've went out nearly 10 times together. Her and I are opposites. She's very outgoing, free spirited and has a wild streak/bad girl vibe. I'm shy, quiet, reserved and haven't so much as ran a red light. Surprisingly she likes me and we get along well.
One day late in June we went out to lunch for the 4th time and something happened. She asked me questions about my dating life and overall experience, asked me if I was a virgin. I told her I've only had a couple dates and that I am a virgin. She looked at me shocked and said "What am I going to do with you? Am I gonna have to sleep with you?" She asked if I wanted to kiss her. "But I thought you had a boyfriend?", I replied. She just looked at me and told me that you can still kiss someone if they're in a relationship. As aloof as I am even I knew that was bullshit but whatever, she asked if I wanted to kiss her again and I said yes and we made out for like 5 minutes, kissing, biting, tongue, we made out. My first kiss and it was the best day of my life.
A week later we went out again and much to my dismay she had a change of heart. She said she didn't want to do wrong by her guy friend and that she didn't want to lead me on to something that may not happen. She said she'd still go out to lunch with me and that she didn't want us to become strangers as long as things don't get awkward at work. She said she thinks I'm cool as hell and would give me a chance if she was single. We've continued to lunch together since then but she still flirts with me and hugs me often.
I hate that after all this time I finally find a girl I like who clearly likes me back and would give me a chance but of course she's taken. She's told me how lazy her boyfriend is. He seems very unreliable, often times she has to call his friends just so he'll answer his phone so she can talk to him. I've heard tell that she keeps him on a short leash because he's cheated on her in the past. He's also not much to look at either. I feel like she's with him mainly to have a roof over her head but they live together with his dad, it can't be that great of a living situation. She's told me that she tells him about me and that we go out, so that was awkward.
Not that I think I'd be the perfect boyfriend. I'm sub-average in looks. I'm not very well off. I live a very boring and unexciting life and I'm a dull, charisma vaccuum. I want a girl like her that's exciting and adventurous, who can break my shell and loosen me up, and in turn maybe I can treat her right and help with her problems. She smokes a lot and lives off energy drinks. She's told me of her drug filled past but now she's over it and recovering. I say to myself I don't care about her faults but its because I've never had a girlfriend and she was my first kiss so I'm hooked on her.
Deep down I know she's just another phase, another stage in an endless cycle. A new girl will enter my life, I crush on her, ask her out but can't pursue her for this or that reason, I become infatuated and continue crushing in misery until one day she leaves my life and then another girl will show up and repeat. I'm at the point now I'm just waiting on the day she finds a new job and quits and I never see her again. That's my life. This post really has no point, just wanted to get this out.
She got the job 2 months ago and shortly after I asked her out for lunch with me, knowing beforehand she was taken. I knew I'd be rejected but I just wanted to introduce myself and make it known to her that I'm interested should she become availiable. She agreed to go out as friends and since then we've went out nearly 10 times together. Her and I are opposites. She's very outgoing, free spirited and has a wild streak/bad girl vibe. I'm shy, quiet, reserved and haven't so much as ran a red light. Surprisingly she likes me and we get along well.
One day late in June we went out to lunch for the 4th time and something happened. She asked me questions about my dating life and overall experience, asked me if I was a virgin. I told her I've only had a couple dates and that I am a virgin. She looked at me shocked and said "What am I going to do with you? Am I gonna have to sleep with you?" She asked if I wanted to kiss her. "But I thought you had a boyfriend?", I replied. She just looked at me and told me that you can still kiss someone if they're in a relationship. As aloof as I am even I knew that was bullshit but whatever, she asked if I wanted to kiss her again and I said yes and we made out for like 5 minutes, kissing, biting, tongue, we made out. My first kiss and it was the best day of my life.
A week later we went out again and much to my dismay she had a change of heart. She said she didn't want to do wrong by her guy friend and that she didn't want to lead me on to something that may not happen. She said she'd still go out to lunch with me and that she didn't want us to become strangers as long as things don't get awkward at work. She said she thinks I'm cool as hell and would give me a chance if she was single. We've continued to lunch together since then but she still flirts with me and hugs me often.
I hate that after all this time I finally find a girl I like who clearly likes me back and would give me a chance but of course she's taken. She's told me how lazy her boyfriend is. He seems very unreliable, often times she has to call his friends just so he'll answer his phone so she can talk to him. I've heard tell that she keeps him on a short leash because he's cheated on her in the past. He's also not much to look at either. I feel like she's with him mainly to have a roof over her head but they live together with his dad, it can't be that great of a living situation. She's told me that she tells him about me and that we go out, so that was awkward.
Not that I think I'd be the perfect boyfriend. I'm sub-average in looks. I'm not very well off. I live a very boring and unexciting life and I'm a dull, charisma vaccuum. I want a girl like her that's exciting and adventurous, who can break my shell and loosen me up, and in turn maybe I can treat her right and help with her problems. She smokes a lot and lives off energy drinks. She's told me of her drug filled past but now she's over it and recovering. I say to myself I don't care about her faults but its because I've never had a girlfriend and she was my first kiss so I'm hooked on her.
Deep down I know she's just another phase, another stage in an endless cycle. A new girl will enter my life, I crush on her, ask her out but can't pursue her for this or that reason, I become infatuated and continue crushing in misery until one day she leaves my life and then another girl will show up and repeat. I'm at the point now I'm just waiting on the day she finds a new job and quits and I never see her again. That's my life. This post really has no point, just wanted to get this out.