Is love only meant only for certain people?

[Jafo]

There's no such thing as "love" anyways. So who the fresia cares?

That's what you want to believe. It's not a "fact" and isn't true for everyone.

Look at all these idiots who fall "in loe" after only knowing each other a few weeks. It's absurd. Rimbaud said there is no such thing as love, that what you think is love is in fact only dependence.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There's no such thing as "love" anyways. So who the fresia cares?

That's what you want to believe. It's not a "fact" and isn't true for everyone.

Look at all these idiots who fall "in loe" after only knowing each other a few weeks. It's absurd. Rimbaud said there is no such thing as love, that what you think is love is in fact only dependence.

I don't know who Rimbaud is, so believing what they say doesn't really work for me. You seem to want to depend on other people's views to form your own. I'll have to agree with Lady on this one. That's your view, and although it's probably shared by many, it doesn't make it true for everyone. I would say love is real, because love isn't just partner to partner; Love can be held for anything. It's not something that can be proven exists, but when you're passionate about something or you care for something so much, that's probably what most would consider love. It's for a child. Or a best friend. It doesn't always mean romantic relationship.

 

[Xpendable]

It's not something that can be proven exists, but when you're passionate about something or you care for something so much, that's probably what most would consider love.

Or you could just google it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's not something that can be proven exists, but when you're passionate about something or you care for something so much, that's probably what most would consider love.

Or you could just google it.

Google what love is? What is love?

Baby, don't hurt me...

 

[Xpendable]

Love is a by-product of an organism's will to perpetuate its existence.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Google what love is? What is love?

Baby, don't hurt me...

 

[Solivagant]

I love my dog!

 

[Jafo]

There's no such thing as "love" anyways. So who the fresia cares?

That's what you want to believe. It's not a "fact" and isn't true for everyone.

Look at all these idiots who fall "in loe" after only knowing each other a few weeks. It's absurd. Rimbaud said there is no such thing as love, that what you think is love is in fact only dependence.

I don't know who Rimbaud is, so believing what they say doesn't really work for me. You seem to want to depend on other people's views to form your own. I'll have to agree with Lady on this one. That's your view, and although it's probably shared by many, it doesn't make it true for everyone. I would say love is real, because love isn't just partner to partner; Love can be held for anything. It's not something that can be proven exists, but when you're passionate about something or you care for something so much, that's probably what most would consider love. It's for a child. Or a best friend. It doesn't always mean romantic relationship.

Arthur Rimbaud was a 19th century French poet.

 

[Bob Lee]

It depends on what kind of love we are speaking about.....

1.) You got object based love... I love my massage chair, I love a good cup of coffee, I love my cat/dog, etc.
This love is a form of temporary pleasure, we continue to temporarily love these things or hobbies as long as
our passion and taste for them do not change.

2.) Then you got conditional love.... This love is seemingly the only one we know best, its a lot like object based love,
We love certain type of people that tells us all the right things, that just know how to stroke our ego just right!
The moment they out live there usefulness or the moment they cease pleasing our self ego, our love for them is over!
This type of love is often found is many romantic relationships, and "fake" friendships.

3.) and Finally, you got unconditional love... This type of love seems to only exist within the religions and spirituality,
the type of love that seemingly is not apart of our world. The idea is you are truly loved no matter what!
I believe this concept can truly exist here and now! You don't have to be a believer of faith to experience this!
You could have done every vile thing under the sun and in the end you are loved every bit as much your
awesome opposites. True genuine friendships and long lasting marriages can thrive under this heading.

To break it down further, unconditional love.....
Does not judge.
Does not see good or bad.
Does not differentiate between beliefs and ideas, it just simply is.
Sees truth and does not see lies.
Knows loyalty and will never leave your side.
Power is so great it can never hate.

A lot of us are so desperate for any kind of love or acceptance we will accept any form of attention in any shape or form
to heal the wounds of our isolation.

Loner or not, if we can't love ourselves unconditionally, there is no hope or chance in the world we can do it for anyone else much less if anyone will be capable of doing it for you.
Love yourself, and know that you are loved!

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't consider myself as the ugliest woman in the world, however I am far from being beautiful.

.....

When I go out with friends, they always get the attention and I get either ignored or brutally rejected as if I would stink like an old corpse. I do get it, I am not attractive.

I'm sorry to see you getting so down about your looks.

lmph8885, I just wanted to say that I remember the photo you posted on here of your face a while ago, and you are not ugly at all. I think you probably had some bad experiences growing up, and it's stuck with you. I know it can be hard to overcome that, but realize that it's not helping you to continue to believe that you are ugly. Start training your mind to believe that you look just fine - maybe start with little things that you like about yourself and keep building from there.

Just keep going, one day at a time. You'll get there if you keep trying, every day

 

[Triple Bogey]

Yes, love is only meant for the beautiful, thin people. I'm short, fat and ugly, in my 40's and have never had a girlfriend. If "looks don't matter" then I should've had a few relationships by now. But nope, women are shallow, plain and simple. They want their men tall, well built and skinny.

A lot of people have physical preferences, not just women but men too. It does not make them 'shallow, plain and simple' just to have a preference.

And as for being judged for looks- there is a reason more women feel the pressure when it comes to body image, and suffer from illnesses relating to that like eating disorders.

It is not fair for either gender to put the other down for something so superficial, although yes, it does happen. But it's not restricted to women.
And there are many, many people to whom looks are not an issue at all. Like others have said, you can't lump an entire gender together just so you have somewhere to direct your bitterness.

I think men go for looks just as much as women do, it's not a gender thing at all.

---

I never thought I would get all these responses. Thank you everyone. I agree with what was said here about the odds of finding someone are too low. That is something I have thought about for some time. That is why I concluded some months ago that if you put yourself on the spot, you might increase your chances other than just sitting around waiting for Mr. Right to come one day and knock on my door.
I started visiting an online dating website. Since then, I've met several guys. Some only wanted sex, others liked me but I didn't like them. There were two guys I met that I did like. One of them was an Italian guy. We went out for two weeks and he had to go back to his country. Fortunately, by the time he left, I had realised I preferred to have him as a friend. The other guy I liked ended up deceiving me. He was only looking for a rebound and at the end, eventually got back with his ex. So as you can see, I have been quite unlucky even when I have put myself in the spot. Last Friday I met another guy I had met in the website. He seemed like a very nice and down to earth guy. I don't think he was ugly but I didn't feel attracted towards him. I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I too picky? Or I subconsciously decide to feel attracted to guys with whom I can't have anything? I don't know if I should give this last guy another try. I am scared that at the end I won't feel attracted towards him and end up hurting him, as I have done to other men in the past.
About my physical appearance, there are some things I can do to look better, like lose weight. However I am very insecure and I have a low self esteem. I know the problem is me and not the world.

Sounds like you have no problem attracting men and don't have a problem at all. Keep with the online dating and one of these days you and some bloke will click and you will be in a relationship and happy.

There are some people on here men and women who can't attract anybody which sounds different to you.

 

[matt4]

I do think mindset prevents relationships. There is nothing wrong with you in terms of looks.
However, when people are all over the place one has to question whether relationships/friendships are a good idea. Being with someone isn't the end game. Be happy with yourself first

 

[there is no hope]

Love is a crock.

 

[Stonely]

There's a reason for everything in life, OP.

 

[ardour]

There's a reason for everything in life, OP.

So everything is part of a divine plan? Or everything has a clear explanation?

In either case, this statement isn't very helpful to the OP. It implies some quite nasty conclusions; she's either 'meant' to be alone, or alone because of inadequacies.

 

[VanillaCreme]

A reason doesn't always mean clear explanation.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Yes, love is only meant for the beautiful, thin people. I'm short, fat and ugly, in my 40's and have never had a girlfriend. If "looks don't matter" then I should've had a few relationships by now. But nope, women are shallow, plain and simple. They want their men tall, well built and skinny.

With all due respect, that very last sentence is BS (just being brutally honest though I agree with most of your post). I'm in my early 20's and I'm tall, fit, and skinny. Considering I'm 6' and 140 lbs., I'm pretty skinny. A couple women judged me by how skinny I am without even getting to know me. :/

If your last sentence was true, then I wouldn't have gone years without a girlfriend. No woman will ever give me the time of day or even consider me while seeing me as nothing but a tall, lanky guy who's isn't worthy of any woman's love.

 

[bd1974]

Love is luck. Pure and simple. There is not someone for everyone. If you find love, it's simply because you got lucky. A lot of us have terrible luck so the odds aren't good.

 

[trueth]

I do agree that love is only meant for certain people. I can only speak as it relates to me though. In my case it's a mindset thing as someone stated earlier. I have no problems talking to women but whenever it comes to dating, I have this defeatist, self loathing attitude and convince myself to not even try. It's very easy to say I need to learn to love myself first but undoing years of conditioning isn't that simple. lol I figure the best thing for anyone to do is just focus on themselves, remain open but not desperate and see what happens.