lololololololololol

[RebeccaSarah33]

It snowed more than 14 inches where I am! Its soooooo pretty! Its almost as high as the windows. I'm snowed in, didn't have to go to work, I doubt I will tomorrow. I had a really fun day but like I really wish I had someone to share it with. I got to see my sister for about an hour but she went home so she didn't get stuck away from her house. I had fun by myself all day but now I'm tired of myself LOL. I want to hear what other people think and say and not just have my own thoughts all day to listen to. I hate that I'm awake like half the night almost every night, this is when I get lonely. Theres like nothing I can do, its night, I don't feel like laying in bed cause no one else is in there. I just feel really stupid with my thoughts right now, like I'm talking to myself, lol im not really talking in real life just writing it out like as if im talking to myself LOL. i'm loooooooooooonely right now I'd even watch like a crappy movie that i don't like just to have someone sit next to me. My dad works out of state alot and he came home tonight and fell asleep almost immediately after getting home lol and he turned on beavis and butthead to watch and i sat there and watched it as he snored even though its not what i would watch but it was really lonely cause it was like he wasnt even there. It feels like hes been out of my life for most of it because of his job, my mom too now. It really sucks, i live with my two parents and never see them. They are always working for more and more money to buy stupid things that dont matter! I hate money! I would much rather be dirt poor and never own anything nice and spend my life with people versus having every material thing that i could come up with that i could ever want and never having any time to enjoy any of it. Its just so frustraiting to me to sit and listen to "big plans" for the future of enjoying that boat they worked so hard for, constantly working but the boat never gets taken out cause if there is ever a break in the work its understandibly spent resting up. Why buy an expensive television plan with 500+ channels if you're never home to watch it? Why have a boat if it just sits in the yard and rusts? Why spend all the money to make a huge expensive garden with tall fence to keep the deer out and a netting over the top to keep the crows out and plow and plant it to never tend to it and let it get full of weeds and everything die? Why own an RV and many other vehicles if you only ever use your commute car to go to work? Why own a couple of horses if you never ride them, never groom them, never do anything with them except minimal care? Why own a bunch of stuff you never use and have to work to maintain so that you never use them anyway? I'm just really frustraited right now, I really don't understand that way of thinking. I feel so alone right now, it sucks. lol, i'll get over it in like 2 seconds. 1... 2... yea lol lol theres lots of snow outside :club: lol i'm sorry you wasted your time and brain cells to read this haha I feel like some kind of like mental defectant because I want to socialize so badly but I'm like too shy in real life to get close to anyone, I don't want to socialize like go party, I just want someone here with me to go do all the dumb stuff I like to do and I wanna go do stuff they like to do and live life not alone :club: I guess I just have to be patient but that doesnt take the suck out of it LOL. hopefully one day I'll have someone to come home to lol sorry for you having to read this and waste time :club: <---this is how i feel lol :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: lol at least that smiley has someone there with them even if they are getting hit by them lol

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hug beccasarah*



that's great you guys got some snow i love snow

are you on the east coast?

i heard they got a bunch of snow

ya i'd really like someone to do stuff with

i daydream a lot about being someone else someone who has friends

gesh it's already 2am here

i like how all the bats are beating the other to bloody pulp with synchronized beats

pshh don't worry about wasting my brain i can waste it on my own time

though the minor inconviences of having a turned off brain are greatly outweighed by the benifits of mildly feeling any emotional pain fear or regret whatsoever

all yoou need is a distraction

ahhh internet you're like my booze you make all the pain go away with none of the dangers of getting caught or the extra carbs leading to beer bellies

*sings to paramores ignorance*

the internet is my new best friend the internet is my new best friend

well i hope you are doing well becca and have a wonderful holiday i enjoyed reading your post

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

lol aww thanks for the hug :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: :club:

 

[yesm]

snow is evil in teh face. yeah i wish i culd be like a non afraid of socialness person thad be super fantastical... i'd like go to bus stops and chat people up i suppose i dunno...

you could pretend a ball is your friend like Wilson in teh movie cast away?

i've been a loner most of my life tho so i'll doubt that'll change, if i'm on the right substance i can be more outgoing, but then i usualy just annoy people with mindless random odd chatter, or just getting things off my chest i haven't talked to anyone about. Although sometimes i find a close friend then i become talkative. i usualy need to warm up to folks...

sorry to hear about your lonely boredomness, that's pretty much everyday for me. I don't know anybody, wish my parents liked beavis and butthead lol, not that i do, but they are kind of like super christians and everything is evil to them.... so like i have to not have any opinions or so what i feel like saying lest i be scorned!!! and i'm bored so i'm writing you a reply, maybe you read it maybe you didn't...

i remember this one time, when i was a wee little youngster... and it snowed out alot... me and my friend... we toatally started rolling these huge snowballs and made this huge snow wall... like the great wall of snow... and we had fun doin' it... now i just hate snow and can't tolerate cold weather for crap cuz i've spent so much time in warm rooms alone on the computer...so now snow is like life threatening instead of possibly a source of wholesome fun...

so yeah thas my random story... you are not alone in your aloneness, but your still alone or maybe ur not anymore i dunno....

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

lol I drove in the snow today to work, theres still alot of it and all the other days I was being dropped off and picked up by people with big 4 wheel drive trucks, but today i drove my little car and was sliding around, it was kind of fun because I didn't wreck into anything and didn't have to go very far. lol i don't own a volleyball to put blood on and make a wilson, not sure i'd want to because that thing looked creepy haha! lol I often wonder if people ever think they are bothering me with thier "mindless random odd chatter" because I actually enjoy it and really am never bothered by people talking to me, like at work and stuff (since thats where i see most people) I just never know what to say back to them without sounding completely dumb LOL. Usually the first thoughts in my head after someone says something is really dumb! Haha! I must have been super antisocial today or something because I wanted to take my break at work and I looked through the window as I walked by with my shopping cart and there was 3 guys in there. I thought to myself, theres no way I can even go in there and not be awkward LOL so I moved on. I brought the shopping cart because I had to fill it up with frozen food to bring back to the bakery, was going to park it outside the breakroom until I was done breaking but lol decided to go ahead and get in the freezer. LOL like 25 minutes later, I look in, same guys, its like wow they are really like .... lol taking thier time there. hahaha I fooled around in freezers #2 and #3. Finally empty breakroom. I go in and drink my juicebox LOL orange flavor Yay. As soon as I sit down here comes more people! I don't feel so bad when people come in when I'm already in there because then they are choosing to come in and aren't being forced to sit there with me, they could always go outside or in another officetype room or wait til later like I did. I just feel like when I enter I clear out the room like they don't want to talk about stuff in front of me or it could be coincidence of timing but who knows, it just happens alot. lol i liked the story and yes i'm still alone.