loneliness is fate

[OhGodImLonely]

Hello guys,

Have you ever noticed that all the time you have spent feeling lonely in your life was because it was impossible for this to be otherwise ?

As if there was some paranormal force pulling you into the kind of situations where you find yourself lonely ?

Very strange that thought. I happened to start thinking about that when getting into a deep introspection and ended up concluding that years after years the way my life was unfolding I HAD to feel lonely.

First because of health problems. Secondly because of being raised by a very strict father. And then because I had finally become programmed into this sort of psychological pattern.

Have you ever felt that you've been experiencing loneliness because there is no other way of life for you to be possible ?

 

[harmony]

Yes, very much so.

I was a very lonely child both at home and at school. Now I have physical health and other issues that seek to isolate me as an adult. I have often wondered if I'm in some way destined to be lonely.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

Yes, very much so.

I was a very lonely child both at home and at school. Now I have physical health and other issues that seek to isolate me as an adult. I have often wondered if I'm in some way destined to be lonely.

Same as me. It all comes up crystal clear to me now.

 

[Peaches]

paranormal thing, quite so - actually I completely agree about external circumstances they just come and there is not much one can do, but about the internal situations (social phobia, psychological programming) I disagree. Although a terribly arduous task, something can be done about that, and I see that not as fate but as a side effect of the external events, but, yes, it depends on fate if one realizes one own's power or not, and if finds the tools/help to change...

 

[Swamp Yankee]

Not as amazing as it may seem imho.

Ironically enough the very coping mechanisms that allow a person to deal with loneliness will actually help keep a person lonely. It is a perfectly vicious little circle.

Its a prob that makes itself worse. If anyone can break the cycle please do so at your first opportunity.

-SY

 

[Arod86]

from my teens to early 20's, and even to the present days usually (25 now), when the choice came to go out and do things either by myself or with friends or family, 9 times out 10 I chose to not go and be by myself. I do regret it now but at the time it always seemed like I was better off alone in my room playing video games or watching tv. Ive been living by myself for about 2 months now and the lonliness has really hit me hard and ive been in a depression and people close to me are starting to notice because I cant hide it any more. most of it is cause I really want a gf, but something that seems so easy to accomplish is one of the hardest things ive ever experienced. I hate to think about never finding someone special cause I really want to. but at the same time I have a bad feeling I never will cause of how I am

 

[Tiina63]

Not as amazing as it may seem imho.

Ironically enough the very coping mechanisms that allow a person to deal with loneliness will actually help keep a person lonely. It is a perfectly vicious little circle.

Its a prob that makes itself worse. If anyone can break the cycle please do so at your first opportunity.

-SY

I would be interested to read more about this viewpoint, incase this is tripping me up in my attempts to end my loneliness. How do the coping mechanisms which allow us to deal with loneliness keep us lonely?

 

[JasonM]

I don't care for the concept of fate as, at least to me, it dictates that you have no control over your outcome and nothing you do really matters. That sort of loss of control over one's own existence is more than anyone should have to deal with. Perhaps we have a habitual tendency to direct ourselves on certain paths where a certain outcome becomes more statistically probable, but the idea of either taking advantage of your life or just never getting out of bed and arriving at the same endgame is just demoralizing.

After feeling taken advantage of for most of my life there are a few things I've learned. One of them, and it may sound quite cynical, is there is what you take and what you allow to be taken from you. At least in realizing and accepting that, you are left with a fighting chance.

 

[Kat]

I am a product of an abusive, broken and dysfunctional home. Of course I wasn't able to relate to others if I put up an emotional wall around myself so nobody else would hurt me and I would be numb to the pain.

 

[Fustar]

I am not big into to fate. Honestly I believe we have the ability to end being lonely, its just finding the way that works best for you. Fate in my opinion has nothing to do with anything, it is just another thing to believe so you don't have to face the real issues.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

I am a product of an abusive, broken and dysfunctional home. Of course I wasn't able to relate to others if I put up an emotional wall around myself so nobody else would hurt me and I would be numb to the pain.

I love the quote you put as a signature below your message !