Lonely Summer?

[ryk]

Well it seems that the only two people who I fully trust as friends have decided to fall in love with each other and run off with each other practically every day. That would be great if they didn't also decide that I deserved to be sidelined in the process. I feel like I'm being alienated by both of them, and that as long as they're together I'm drifting farther away from them. I know they deserve some time together, but in doing so they leave me alone with nobody to talk to. It's not fun.

That wouldn't be as much of a problem though if it weren't summer break. School's over and there's really no one else to talk to. Not that it would help much since I'm absolutely horrendous at making friends...

Anyway I just had a conversation with one of those two and it seems like I really pissed him off somehow. He refuses to say anything to me. Should I just leave him to cool off and hope that he'll come around again as a friend eventually?

If so, then I need someone to talk to in the meantime. =\

 

[Clandestine]

It sounds as if your friend is being quite defensive and wants to evade the fact that they have hurt you. In all honesty don't wait around for this person, hang out with yourself if you have to. I know that doesn't sound fun, but the therapist that I have been seeing has made me a believer in this concept. If this person is so fickle that they will cease to be your friend for a relationship, then they were never your friend in the first place. Trust me, I have experienced this scenario so many times that I know it like my last name and it always ends in disaster. Ignore this person for a while, treat yourself, enjoy YOUR summer. They will eventually get the message and if not..Forget Them!

If you want someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

 

[ryk]

Well honestly my summer's gonna be boring. I missed out on signing up for a volunteer job, and a tour around the world that I wanted to do got canceled. So basically I'm stuck at home doing nothing.

Maybe it's just that I've spent so much time being alone other times that I'm sick of it. I want to get out of the house with people but there's nowhere to go and nobody to go with. =\

 

[Sci-Fi]

In response to your friend, leave him to cool off and come back around. Give it a few weeks.

In the meantime find out if there are any events or things going on in your area you might be able to go to or get involved with.

 

[ryk]

The worst part is that I helped the two of them get together. I helped them because they were my friends... Then they get together and push me away? This is what I get for doing that? Is this really what I deserve?

This doesn't feel right. It's not fair..... Ugh, I feel horrible.

 

[lonelyfairy]

That is really bad situtation. :/ It's sad that it's summer and is no one to talk with. I know your pain... But try to do something fun, going outside walking or swimming...? Something positive and nice.

 

[floffyschneeman]

hmm, putting a different perspective of the scenario, when friends start to get in a relationship, they always need time and they are bound to focus on their relationship too much because the feeling is nice when you are crushing on in love with someone in a romantic way. I don't think it's necessarily their fault, because when place in the same situation, we would most likely do what they are doing. I don't think they intended to ignore you. They are just caught up with their emotions, enjoying it as it is now. And as their friends, it's our job to understand. Thus, it is never helpful to rely on other people too much. And I don't think we can be a good friend to our friends if we constantly think of our needs and feel upset if we feel they aren't giving us attention like they used to.

The key to it is to be your own friend. It might sound funny, but it does work. It will help us if we know how to enjoy our company. Sure there will be down times and lonely times, but we would be alright and we could still find something to enjoy like solitary walks or watching documentaries (these are always better to do alone) Also, we can think and reflect better about our selves when we have some alone time. Think of it this way, don't be friends with other people because you need them in order not to feel lonely. Loneliness is something we have to over come in ourselves, it stems from deeper reasons rather than physical loneliness. You become friends with your friends because you connect and you enjoy both companies and then love in the form of friendship would start to grow. Regardless of how long you haven't talked in awhile, or how bad your argument or misunderstand would be, you will always find your way back to your friendship.


Give them time to enjoy they relationship, if you are truly their friend. Meanwhile, take this opportunity to explore on your interests or make new friends, like here on ALL. After it, when they get settled with being lovers, they would go back to being your friends. Remember that to take care of a relationship, someone has to give understanding. It would be good if all parties realize their faults and understand the other people, but when they can't realize that, be the adult and initiate it.


I hope you have a fun summer... here is a thought. If you are into movies... most people are dying for a time out just to relax and watch all the series/discontinued tv shows/docu's/movies they like. Or you could also start a project of your interest or learn new skills.

 

[Swamp Yankee]

Yeah when the last of your friends get married it really puts the kink on what remains of the social life. The irony is that if they are good friends and good folks they will leave you alone to be with their new spouse. Man that sux. -SY.

 

[ryk]

I guess I'll just leave the two of them alone for the time being then. Now to figure out what to do with myself.....