lonely

[VinnyL]

First off sorry for the title topic name. I couldnt really think of anything else.

Well this is kind of strange i guess but i will start, my name is vinny and I am 26 years old. I am obese ugly and have no friends, never kissed a girl and it goes without saying a virgin (it figures).

I have no idea why I am writting this, I stumbled across this forum on suicide searches on google. I used to have the greatest friends on earth until they all met girls and bingo... they all decided to stop knowing me and spending time with the girls. I dotn really blame them as I was dragging their good looks down.

Since then I have not really gone out of the house for social reasons. I just stay at home and play computer games and surf the net and be bored really.

For many years now I have thought about suicide, and i know deep down when it comes to it I wouldnt have the guts. I have never tried suicide just have thoughts about it. And yet when I think about something bad I think to my self "its okay I can commit suicide" and that feeling/thought makes me happy (sounds really crazy i know)

Well I could proberly blabber on for ages about pointless stuff. But I think I better stop boring the pants off you.
I am sorry of you read this at all as its aload of BS. And its fine if nobody replies to it (no idea what any replies would even say)
But thank you for your time
Have a nice day

(P.S - I am sorry if i posted this in the wrong section)

 

[oarivan]

Ah well VinnyL what can I say that you probably haven't heard before? Maybe some positive remark to help you move forward and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Well unfortunately I'm not the type to do such things. Just know there are some folks here in similar situations and some worse off than others so you're not alone.

Welcome to the club.

 

[Badjedidude]

I am obese ugly and have no friends

Heh, well I'll give you one big piece of advice. With that attitude, no one is going to WANT to be your friend. No one likes someone who's down on themself and negative all the time.

What I would suggest doing is turning off the computer and going outside. Start working on becoming what you want to be! If you feel that you're fat, go running! Exercise! If you don't have friends, go looking for them instead of sitting at home complaining about not having any! Getting what you want out of this life takes action...REAL action. Get busy and get moving with your life!

Welcome to the site, btw.

----Steve

 

[kelbo]

Hi Vinny, welcome to the site

I read this earlier and never replied, I felt bad about not replying so I've come back to finally reply. I'm sorry I didn't just reply earlier, but I really didn't know what to say to make you feel better or to try and make you feel less alone. I still don't now really.

I just want to say though that I have listened, to every word you have written. And it is brave of you to come forward - and to not just end it.

You are 26 years old, you have so many years ahead of you that you CAN do things with - things that you might enjoy and love. I'm sure there are some things out there that you haven't done that you'd like to. Think about it and write me back a list? Because if you can't then I can help you write one!

Do you think the idea of suicide makes you feel happy because it seems easier to just give up than get yourself out of the rut you're in? (Sorry if my honesty offends you, but it is a reasonable question to ask)

 

[packyourbags]

sorry that you feel this way
i guess that all i can say is that things change, even if they seem to be bad for a while. don't give up.
and well, i am glad that you won't have the guts as you say.
i don't think it's about guts, i think it's about cowardice really. running from problems.

it's staying alive that takes real guts.

^look hug

i hope things will get better for you

(and happy birthday, if it's today )

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hey, and welcome.

 

[Olde shoe]

Being depressed is a mindset that is very difficult to get out of. Self-loathing is really (how do I say?) addictive. (If that makes any sense?)

I met some women who (I kid you not) had the hots for hefty men and these women were gorgeous! --My point is, it doesn't matter what you look like. People get attracted to people for different reasons. Beauty is indeed just skin deep (It really is)

I know it's not the best advice nor do I claim to be a good source of advice but this point in time in your life isn't a dead end.

We feel for you Vinnyl.

 

[ultimate]

Hi
Some months ago,a psychiatrist advised me to do some exercise, go swimming and something such as that to get rid of sadness.after a couple of weeks, walking for 2 or 3 hours a day made me feel better so now i do it regularly.to do some sports is one of the ways that will help freshen you,Just start NOW .
But if you think that you might commit suicide, certainly visit a psychiatrist before doing anything.

-Ershad

 

[Badjedidude]

Good advice, ultimate.

----Steve

 

[niki_gal84]

Well From what you wrote, it seems that you were suffering from depression and finding way to overcome that..

I have tried to commit suicide b4..but thanks God Im still alive...trust me I knw how that may feel like. It is really a terrifying experience for me..

Plz dun ever think abt that, trust me there is no point doing that... Now I dun wanted to repeat the same mistakes again.

U noe wat, my bf left me coz his bro commit suicide..

sometimes the affect is not only to your family or frenz but sometimes to other either...like what happen in my case..

may sounds a bit silly..but I have gone through so many dramas...So plz dun think abt that again...

You sounded lonely and in need of a friend to talk to...yet this is the right place for you...

Do cont to post something.. if that is more convenient for you.

Feel free to share...everything will be fine soon...

 

[VinnyL]

Hello everybody

I wrote this a good few months back and for some reason yesterday i just remembered about it.

So il give a quick update:

Ive currently got a job but i could get laid off any week now. I go out now and again with the lads from work on a "lads night out" which is really fun, also on them nights out I do talk to girls and in some cases very sexy ones lol. But I know deep down im obese and ugly still which means im never going to get one. I do still think about suicide but not nearly as much as i used to.

I have no idea why im writing this just like the first message i posted, but there ya go

thanks for reading, and have a nice day

 

[VinnyL]

what was i thinking?

everything is not okay and fine!
My life has taken a turn for the worse. and right at this moment all I can think about is taking my life, I live in England so getting my hands on a gun isnt going to happen. And im afraid of doing it wrong so that i live but with complications for myself in terms of injuries, how sad I know!

It all started to go wrong after I graduated from uni back in 2007. nobody wanted to keep in touch for obvious reasons and since then all Ive done is play computer games... I play call of duty black ops on xbox 360 and Im a legit 15th prestige already. People who know that game will understand how much time ive spent on the game, as there's nothing else to do.

I feel so so sorry for my parents. They are both extremely hard working people and at the moment I dont have a job. I know that Im a huge disappointment for them. Obviously they dont say it to me. But I can just tell. While they go to work all day (and nights some times) Im at home playing on

Just in general in a nice guy, always says please and thank you to anybody, even if i dont really like the person. Im really easy going and can talk to anybody.

Just that for some reason I cant help thinking that Im better off killing my self and getting rid of my self will make everything go away. at least my parents will have a dead son instead of one that they hate

Who knows maybe I just need a girl friend. Somebody to talk to, kiss and cuddle etc...

For some reason this took about an hour to write this as i was thinking of the things to say. However I could go on talking and talking for hours. But I thought I would get that off my chest

Thank you all for reading, and sorry for the contents
Have a nice day

 

[oh_boy]

Hello!

How I feel for you, man. You've probably spent quite lot of time on computer games. It's such a pity they don't pay cash for that . I've wasted my youth on this stuff as well. I wish I could turn back time. At least now I don't play anymore and wish you to overcome that.

Maybe it would be good for you to join some volunteering stuff - there is lot of such stuff going on in the country you live in. Man, I'm jealous!

Cause if you don't find any serious activity, these thoughts of having no gf will own you. And they've been owning me pretty badly - worse and worse every year. But - another thing I tried to own them back was to think this:
come on, this traditional model of unity between male/female was more needed for raising children etc, now the tasks an individual can choose are way more diversified. I think in many cases there really isn't a huge need for a gf, rather she would be quite a waste of precious time. The problem is that this desire connected with animal instincts is still so strong. Plus societal stigma attached to lonely freaks is too rampant as well. When ppl realise that, it will be ok for 2 men to live together. Nothing gay there, just co-help.

Though above stuff is quite open-minded, I'm not very sure it's not just a fantasy. But - I cannot deny the effect it has on reducing that senseless desire for a relationship that rises against my will and spoils my life. Cause if relationship isn't the thing I can afford now, why should I want it?

 

[VinnyL]

Hello

I thought I would post in my original topic instead of making a new one...

Its been about 22months since I made that first post and in that time my life has been crazy. getting jobs an being laid off etc. But through all the time even the times when i was with people socializing I would still think that I want to commit suicide.
One of the reasons I have not is because of my parents.. who i still live with. I consider my self to be a person with lots of feelings, and if I was to take my own life my parents will not of wanted it (obviously) But I cant help in a way that I feel so sorry for them... having an ugly child like me. They are the best parents in the world. I am currently unemployed and while i have no job I always try and avoid my parents as i know im a disappointment to them. I suppose all they want is for me to get a job and be happy. I could get lucky and find a new job... but I wont never be happy. Like I mentioned I think in my 1st ever post.. I lost my friends as their girlfriends pushed them away from me. And I did nothing really

I read about people who kill them self's and I think boy they had the guts to do it. But even while I sit here now... I know I wouldn't have the guts to do it. Its Christmas next week... And I get to see some family... great more people who can look down on me and think what a waste of space I am (and they are right)

Who knows... maybe I just need to meet some girl in my life and then anything can happen. I know this might sounds really strange... but I am a down to earth guy who finds anything funny. I really enjoy a good laugh... and I would love to meet a girl who makes me laugh. Sitting at home would help me find her... but I cant go out drinking on my own I will look like an idiot.

I dont know why most of the time i beat my self up about my looks, and my life I just guess thats the way I was made. In a jammy way... if anybody fancies a chat on MSN feel free to add me. Just PM me your address

Sorry for the rant on. I do apologize
And thank you for your time
Take care

 

[Nolife Princess]

I am obese ugly and have no friends

Heh, well I'll give you one big piece of advice. With that attitude, no one is going to WANT to be your friend. No one likes someone who's down on themself and negative all the time.

What I would suggest doing is turning off the computer and going outside. Start working on becoming what you want to be! If you feel that you're fat, go running! Exercise! If you don't have friends, go looking for them instead of sitting at home complaining about not having any! Getting what you want out of this life takes action...REAL action. Get busy and get moving with your life!

Welcome to the site, btw.

----Steve

Steve,
I love you!! (

 

[Barbaloot]

Meeting a woman will not be a panacea for your problems. You have to work on fixing yourself. Mirroring off what Jedi said, and I don't mean to be harsh, but why would a woman want someone wallowing in so much self-hatred?

I think it's pretty clear that you have serious issues with low self-esteem and depression. You should seek therapy, and not be hoping for salvation from a chance encounter with a female. She will not cure you.

 

[VinnyL]

Well you might be right Barbaloot, Though I think it might change my life having somebody in it. I would be able to talk to them and socialize, comfort if needs be etc.

As for therapy I simply cant afford it.

What actually happens in therapy anyways? I mean ive seen films and TV shows that have a character in doing it like Tony Soprano (lol). I dont know how to explain how I truly feel

Thank you for your time

 

[Barbaloot]

What will happen in therapy will depend a lot on your therapist and which methods they prefer. Generally though, good therapists are quite skilled at making people explain how they truly feel, and that's definitely a start.

Since you live in the UK, you can talk to your GP about affordable options for therapy.

Other people can never be a cure for your problems. You must first learn to be a whole person independently of any one else. No one person will be around forever, people come and go in and out of our lives all the time. You must be as whole without them as you were with them.
This is what therapy can help you learn to achieve - to be whole, to maybe not feel so lousy for a change. To learn to get better.

 

[VinnyL]

Thank you

But being unemployed at the moment means as I am still breathing at the moment I have bills to pay. So therapy is out of the question

But to be honest I dont think it would help me anyways. Thank you for your input though

 

[Barbaloot]

Then keep up the good work.