evanescencefan91 said:
i don't know
it's hard to find something new to say
a lot of times i really don't really care much for small talk
i feel like it's just a waste of time and words
Just a thought...perhaps EVERYTHING we do and say is a waste of time. Really, if you think about it in a positive view, it really takes off a lot of this bullshit pressure we put on ourselves. We should just try not to think of it as "Ah fresia it! None of this matters anyway!" rather think about it as, "Ah, fresia it. None of this matters anyway." (with a smile)
All we can hope from any of what we say and do is that it will do some good. Making small talk with people, or just listening to whatever, however seemingly meaningless, things others have to say may seem tedious, tiring and pointless to some of us.
But if they're getting enjoyment from talking (which obviously so many people do), or if its helping them to get honeysuckle off their chests, then we are doing good. Even if it's just sitting there feeling shitty about the situation. And I dont know about all of you, but after sitting through those conversations, after the gathering breaks up and Im back home again, I defenitely feel some good inside for going through it. Definitely better than I would have felt had I just sat at home (which I always am telling myself I would rather be doing when Im on my way over to what ever it is!) So that's something. Listen to "Wasting Time" by Jack Johnson if you havent before.
i wish we didn't fundamentally need other people
Same here. Luckly (tragically?), with how advanced our species and society is, we now have the choice whether we want to be part of the "tribe" or not.
I dont think it's absolutely fundamental for us to need other people. Perhaps that's a bold statement comming from a person at a loneliness forum, but Im going to keep rolling with it anyway. fresia it, right?
Perhaps we're all here (at this forum) because of that very belief; that we are meant to have people in our lives. And we feel bad/guitly/generally shitty for not having people, or as many as wed like to have, or as many as we think we are supposed to have.
Or perhaps it is indeed a biological and psysiological truth, and all this drivel Im spouting is my own attempt at denying it...as hard as I can because I want it to not be true for myself SO ******* BAD. I dont want to need people either. I want to believe that I dont, even though I know deep down that we all do.
But since I still want to believe I dont, Ill continue to try and argue it...So think of it this way...perhaps this belief that we have an undeniable, innate need for others, true as it may be, is just being hammered into us (maybe being hammered-the-fresia OUT of us) by a society of myspace, facebook, cell phone, bluetooth earbud, text, instant message and chat users that, now, cant ever take their minds OFF being around and connected to people? Hmm? Maybe that's why we're all here questioning this honeysuckle that should not be questioned...it's just gotten to be way too much and we dont know what to do anymore.
i'd be perfectly happy happy alone by myself and my thoughts, playing videogames practicing my guitar, trying to draw and paint, study more
screw other people I'd just devote my time to developing my body and mind with out a regret or drop of melancholy what so ever
Yeah.
but biology did not program us this way
*sigh* Yeah.
so it seems that small talk and group stuff is something our psyche needs
Perhaps more for some than others. Could it be that we just need a very very small amount? And the majority of others seem to have an inquenchable thirst for it? Are they driving us away with intimmidation?
hmm try new movies current events music
things you care about or just something you've been thinking about recently
maybe go over what you're going to say in your head before hand and then practice saying it out loud
this is something hard to do, but just prolonging the isolation won't help
like swimming, eventually you've just got to dive right in
good luck
Great thread Silvernight and great reply evanescence. Likewise to the rest of you who replied. Good night.
By the way, if anyone else here gets as annoyed as I do by the smilies to the left of the post text-box while you're writing your message, (particularly the one bashing the other one with a club over and over; sorry, but that drives the honeysuckle out of me!) anyway, post-it notes work great!
<---I know, Im a **** hypocrite.
