Pogo Poodle
Member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2016
- Messages
- 18
- Reaction score
- 0
I need some objective advice. Don't really know how to proceed here....
I've been married to a wonderful woman for 14 years. We have three awesome kids and a great family life. She is the love of my life and the most beautiful woman I have ever known. I can't imagine my life without her!
Okay, so what's the problem?
We haven't been sexually intimate in over two years. Whenever I try to initiate sexual intimacy, she pulls away. Every once in a while, she will make a suggestive comment to me, which can be both confusing and frustrating as I don't know what she really wants. We have had multiple conversations about sex, during which we have discussed her reluctance toward it. She has said that she wants more intimacy in other areas (talking, touching, spending time together, etc). I enjoy doing everything with her, and have really tried to contribute more in other areas of our relationship. She has expressed that sexual sensations "feel different" now, attributing it possibly to menopause and other hormonal changes she is experiencing. Sometimes when I touch her in sensitive areas, she will move my had away and tell me it doesn't feel right. I really don't know what to do. It's gotten to the point where I have considered taking certain herbal supplements to lower my sex drive.
I know she loves me and she knows I love her. I'm really trying to empathize with her, and I struggle not to take it personally, but it's tough sometimes. I work to focus my attention more on the non-sexual areas of our relationship, and there is much to appreciate there, but it doesn't change the fact that I want a sexual relationship with her. I just don't know how to get past that stumbling block. If our sex life if truly over, I can certainly live with that, as we have so much more together, but I feel like I need a definite answer so I can refocus and enjoy what we do have together. I can't keep wondering "what if" and "maybe someday". I've been practicing techniques like meditation, awareness, deep breathing exercises, etc so that I can live more in the here and now, but the nagging question of whether she may or may not want me sexually someday always sneaks into my mind, and it's ripping me up inside! I feel like a needy puppy whenever I make a sexual advance that she declines, and the mixed signals aren't helping any. I feel really stuck. What do I do?
I've been married to a wonderful woman for 14 years. We have three awesome kids and a great family life. She is the love of my life and the most beautiful woman I have ever known. I can't imagine my life without her!
Okay, so what's the problem?
We haven't been sexually intimate in over two years. Whenever I try to initiate sexual intimacy, she pulls away. Every once in a while, she will make a suggestive comment to me, which can be both confusing and frustrating as I don't know what she really wants. We have had multiple conversations about sex, during which we have discussed her reluctance toward it. She has said that she wants more intimacy in other areas (talking, touching, spending time together, etc). I enjoy doing everything with her, and have really tried to contribute more in other areas of our relationship. She has expressed that sexual sensations "feel different" now, attributing it possibly to menopause and other hormonal changes she is experiencing. Sometimes when I touch her in sensitive areas, she will move my had away and tell me it doesn't feel right. I really don't know what to do. It's gotten to the point where I have considered taking certain herbal supplements to lower my sex drive.
I know she loves me and she knows I love her. I'm really trying to empathize with her, and I struggle not to take it personally, but it's tough sometimes. I work to focus my attention more on the non-sexual areas of our relationship, and there is much to appreciate there, but it doesn't change the fact that I want a sexual relationship with her. I just don't know how to get past that stumbling block. If our sex life if truly over, I can certainly live with that, as we have so much more together, but I feel like I need a definite answer so I can refocus and enjoy what we do have together. I can't keep wondering "what if" and "maybe someday". I've been practicing techniques like meditation, awareness, deep breathing exercises, etc so that I can live more in the here and now, but the nagging question of whether she may or may not want me sexually someday always sneaks into my mind, and it's ripping me up inside! I feel like a needy puppy whenever I make a sexual advance that she declines, and the mixed signals aren't helping any. I feel really stuck. What do I do?