I really don't know how to begin this, so I'll just dive right into it and explain things along the way.
Recently I've had some sort of attraction towards a girl I met this summer at the seaside. Probably by now you may be thinking that I'm going to ask for advice on how to ask her out. But I don't know if this is really the case.
The first time I met her, she made me curious about her, as though I had to see her again. Rarely does someone leave that impression on me. I'll admit I'm a jaded person that finds any kind of apparently insignificant change good, but I'm also a huge misanthropist who sees a stereotyper in every human being. So I guess she must have had something special to her, right?
And it wasn't necessarily something physical. Yes, she has a tattoo and beautiful eyes( I like a girl with a tattoo and nice eyes), yet there was more to her than her looks.
In any case, since getting back home, I've been trying to find out more about her. It's been really hard, it's like she just goes underground: I have tried to go to all the pubs where people from "our" school usually hang out and still nothing.
Until Monday, when the school year started and I saw her for the first time in a month. I've spent the last three mornings playing basketball on the school's court and I've had the chance of seeing her again. We said "hello" and she would smile at me. At a certain point, I ended up staring at her and she, I think, noticed and looked as though she almost laughed in response.
The problem is: I don't know what I'm feeling. Am I idealising her because of the jaded, lonely life I have? I guess you could say that. She's like almost everything I wish I were during high-school. Do I see myself in her, someone else as weird as me with a screwed up family?
Another thing is that in a week or so I'm leaving for college; yes I'm almost 20 and she's almost 17. Hopefully this doesn't make me a pedophile, since I have no sexual intentions with her. I only want to know her as a person.
I don't know what I should do. Should I go ask her out and say honestly what's on my mind(without exaggerating and freaking her out)?
I pray this did not reduce me to a weirdo.
Recently I've had some sort of attraction towards a girl I met this summer at the seaside. Probably by now you may be thinking that I'm going to ask for advice on how to ask her out. But I don't know if this is really the case.
The first time I met her, she made me curious about her, as though I had to see her again. Rarely does someone leave that impression on me. I'll admit I'm a jaded person that finds any kind of apparently insignificant change good, but I'm also a huge misanthropist who sees a stereotyper in every human being. So I guess she must have had something special to her, right?
And it wasn't necessarily something physical. Yes, she has a tattoo and beautiful eyes( I like a girl with a tattoo and nice eyes), yet there was more to her than her looks.
In any case, since getting back home, I've been trying to find out more about her. It's been really hard, it's like she just goes underground: I have tried to go to all the pubs where people from "our" school usually hang out and still nothing.
Until Monday, when the school year started and I saw her for the first time in a month. I've spent the last three mornings playing basketball on the school's court and I've had the chance of seeing her again. We said "hello" and she would smile at me. At a certain point, I ended up staring at her and she, I think, noticed and looked as though she almost laughed in response.
The problem is: I don't know what I'm feeling. Am I idealising her because of the jaded, lonely life I have? I guess you could say that. She's like almost everything I wish I were during high-school. Do I see myself in her, someone else as weird as me with a screwed up family?
Another thing is that in a week or so I'm leaving for college; yes I'm almost 20 and she's almost 17. Hopefully this doesn't make me a pedophile, since I have no sexual intentions with her. I only want to know her as a person.
I don't know what I should do. Should I go ask her out and say honestly what's on my mind(without exaggerating and freaking her out)?
I pray this did not reduce me to a weirdo.