misanthropic, alienated, repressed and depressed?

[slaan]

Ever looked out of the window and wondered to yourself how things got so messed up? When confronted to your peers do you just go blank inside, withdraw to a better place, and wish they would for once talk about something relevant? How many times have you stopped yourself from doing what you want to do, because society would frown upon such behavior, simple things sometimes like saying I love you, or sitting on the floor because there are no more benches at a bus stop. Wish you could smile like the rest of those happy people going about their lives? Yea... me to, along with what seems to be a fair amount of the people here.

I am not exactly sure where I am going with this thread, I guess I just want to feel less alone.
I am a very confused kid, our world makes no sense to me. Society is built upon insane rules, no one appreciates the same things as I do, so often would I just feel like living the way that I want to... but I know people will quite possibly throw rocks at me if I did. What can we do about any of this, apart from huddle together? Create our own subculture... I just want to belong.

...I know most of this does not make sense, yet i hope some of you understand where I am coming from.

 

[Dragonfriend]

I have ceased to exist on this current reality long ago. Everything is all wrong. Everything is all the people. It is something you can't fix as it is natural for humans to be flawed. I do as I please anyhow. I can't let what others think of me get in the way of my happiness. And if I raise a few eyebrows or turn some heads, then that is fine by me.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I honestly don't know who I'm trying to please anymore. Myself? A potential girlfriend? My friends?

Everyone thinks I'm weird, anyway, so I just exist. Well...I make music, and people think I'm cool from that, but it's like they only care about the music. I am not a real person.

 

[slaan]

I have ceased to exist on this current reality long ago. Everything is all wrong. Everything is all the people. It is something you can't fix as it is natural for humans to be flawed. I do as I please anyhow. I can't let what others think of me get in the way of my happiness. And if I raise a few eyebrows or turn some heads, then that is fine by me.

so you are satisfied with being on the fringe of society? No desire to belong to something bigger what so ever? I envy you... I wish I could distance myself from society like that. Though I find your attitude slightly sad. No matter what we are all part of society, and we form what it is weather we want to or not, just like it every pixel of a picture form the picture. I believe it is each and every ones responsibility to make this world a better one, for our own sake and that of others to, since ultimately its the same thing. Distancing yourself from reality is denying any positive influence you could have on it... Ad we need all the positive influence we can get.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You might try reading Johnathen Livenston Seagull.
Its about a seagull that wants to fly like a hawk...
He got bannished from the flock for believing
and wanting to fly like a hawk.

Throigh his trials and trobulstopns he witness
his own protintial of fkying and soaring to new
hieght.
As the dsys and nights went on....he felt lonely
and alone. Renegotiacting of returning to the
flock to live out his days as a seagull of just
scavening for food to survive...

Then oneday Sullivian showed up as Johnathen
sat on a rock alone..
Sillivian is also a seagull. Sullivian knew how
to fly like a hawk and then some.

 

[slaan]

So, don't hesitate trying to be something that you are not, because you might one day find someone else who does it too? is that the point? Could you just tell me the moral of the story, I think meaning is best transcended when addressed directly.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The moral of the story is....
We all have a built in sense of belonging.

As we go through life....our hopes and dreams
gets lost seeking approvals of others or the flock.
As sone of us had found out hard way...
We simply cant please others.
When we follow our hopes and dreams..some people
arnt going to be happy...alot of times most people
arnt going to be happy and think we are crazy
for dreaming of the imposible...
Imposible for them that is.

You can also try reading about the wrights Bro.
Once upon a time society and governments
deem flights was imposible for mankind.
The wright bros were deemed wack jobs.

---

yes....try to surround yourself with other people.
None of us can truely live alone or be an island.
Surround yourself with positve people.

---

At the sametime Believing in yourself have faith
in yourself.....

Eventually Johnathen and the Wrights btos
was accepted by society...
.But they continue to persuit more hopes and
dreams..soaring to new hieght.
Positive begets more positive.
The better it gets..the better it gets.

---

In the story of the Dreamzgiver. The principles
are the sane
Ordinary had a dream....but he was comfortible
of just going to work and watching the box.(tv)
In his heart he felt dead...
As he set out to follow his dreams...he met border
bullies.
The border bullies were his family.freinds and peers.
They needed him to stay so that they are comfortible.
As Oridanary tried to leave town...a giant stood
on the bridge to prevent him from leaving.
The giant represent...ordinarys BOSS and LANDLORDS.
They really needed ordinary to stay to bust his
ass. Be employee of the month and pay his bills
on time.lol
Of course....that scared the living honeysuckle out of
Ordinary. He didnt know how to defeat the giant
to get to the other side of the bridge...
Ordinary stood at the bridge for nights and
days.

Oneday Jacklighting sent a row boat to Ordinary
from the opposite side of the shore.lol....
Of cours Ordinary was happy to get to the otherside.
But journey had just begun. He soon enter
the Wastezland.hahaaaaa
The waste land would be about faith building....because
things turn from bad into worst.
Would Ordinary move forward or return to his confortzone.

 

[Dragonfriend]

so you are satisfied with being on the fringe of society? No desire to belong to something bigger what so ever? I envy you... I wish I could distance myself from society like that. Though I find your attitude slightly sad. No matter what we are all part of society, and we form what it is weather we want to or not, just like it every pixel of a picture form the picture. I believe it is each and every ones responsibility to make this world a better one, for our own sake and that of others to, since ultimately its the same thing. Distancing yourself from reality is denying any positive influence you could have on it... Ad we need all the positive influence we can get.

I don't feel like I have to belong. Belonging is like being tied down and limiting one's dreams. Call it selfishness or what not, but I do appreciate being free and unbound by society and others. And as for influences, I feel that the world isn't ready for what I could contribute. I'm too messed up in the head to produce anything good. Whether I intentionally or subconsciously lead others astray I do not know. It is best if I can at least keep my taint far away from others.

The best advice I ever received was this: Don't blend in, stand out. And thus far I am doing just that

 

[slaan]

so you are satisfied with being on the fringe of society? No desire to belong to something bigger what so ever? I envy you... I wish I could distance myself from society like that. Though I find your attitude slightly sad. No matter what we are all part of society, and we form what it is weather we want to or not, just like it every pixel of a picture form the picture. I believe it is each and every ones responsibility to make this world a better one, for our own sake and that of others to, since ultimately its the same thing. Distancing yourself from reality is denying any positive influence you could have on it... Ad we need all the positive influence we can get.

I don't feel like I have to belong. Belonging is like being tied down and limiting one's dreams. Call it selfishness or what not, but I do appreciate being free and unbound by society and others. And as for influences, I feel that the world isn't ready for what I could contribute. I'm too messed up in the head to produce anything good. Whether I intentionally or subconsciously lead others astray I do not know. It is best if I can at least keep my taint far away from others.

The best advice I ever received was this: Don't blend in, stand out. And thus far I am doing just that

I really understand where you are coming from, and I agree mostly. It is shameful that we live in a society that demands conformity. I just wish there was a way of changing our world, make it a place that doesn't mess people up. I don't think you were born tainted, or strange or anything, you were born you, and I was born me... but somewhere along the line something went wrong. And now we can not belong, I still thrive to be a functioning part in the mechanics of it all though, I just don't want to bend myself in order to fit in, so I will try and bend the world around me. Maybe if all of us lost souls hadn't given up all ready we could change our world for the better.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

maybe youre gping through a stage of developing
Independents.

co dependent >>> independent >>> Inter dependent.

to get right with yourself. Be okay with you.
Re focus on you. Do what you need to do
want to do for yourself without the guilt and
shame.
Its what Im going through. To be self supporting
mentally, emotionally, spiritually and finacually
Fix me....save me...believing in me...love me..
have faith in me...trust me. Be positive with me.
It might seem selfish...its not. Its self loving
and caring. Ill draw more positive people in my life
soon enough.

Society can take care of itself for the mean time.

---

Theres a person in my life at the moment.
Shes like a mother to me. Ive known her
since i was a little kid.
Shes very understanding and very nice.
Shell talk and listen to me about the many
challeges i have in my life.
Shes very positive and re enforces things.

Of corse she and i are awear of a lot of
negative things in life and the world....
but its dosnt benifit me if i dwell on negative
stuff.

 

[slaan]

Ha sounds like a NIN song what you were doing there, from the downwards spiral album. But that doesn't matter, obviously you are right Mr crow, change must always come from within, and that change is not conforming yourself to what society wants you to be, but to become who you want to be... and that reminds me of a NAS song, I can... Though i just want to stress, we are also society.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well..this lady is one of my childhood friends mom.
Shes almost like a second mom to me. Its almost
like my second home.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home.
My parents seldom took the time to talk to me.
Even though my family was finacially doing good.

Its like 2 totally differnt enviornments.

This lady is a multy millionair.
Shes easy going and dont work hard for her money.
She helps people and have a kind heart.
Obviously shes helping me....
Thsts how shes making a world a better place
by helping me.
She cant save the world or even me.
She cant lose herself in my troubles.
I have lots of complexity in my life...
Yes...yesterday she asked me whats my hopes
and dreams as a child...stuff like that.


When i think about society at karge....
Itll hit me between my eye balls.
And itll center around my daughter
and generate lots of pains in me.
The life stlye she choses to live which
also puts her in the position to get hurted.
The pains, heartaches she lives through.
The ugliness and negatives of it.
If i dwell on it....ill sink fast.

So when I say....focus on ne.
Im telling this to mysekf too.

---

In order for me to be a positive force and
influence in her life...I must be positve myself
first.
She holds me accounitible for this.
Shes in her 20s and experined lots.
Shes not going to just lsten to me so easily.
She observe how i live my life.
I cant make her nor force her to do anything.
I will always love her.