Outlawstarl337
Well-known member
sorry didn't really know where to put this in the categories we have
it's been a long time sense i've been on these forms and i probably wont login that often even know i've decided to login today.
I've been thinking a lot about my life and what wrong with me socially. My girlfriend of two years broke up with me last Sunday and i don't know exactly how i feel about that. i'm really don't fell that up set about. I feel bad that i wasn't really that attached to her to have this break up affect me more. i knew it was coming to an end but it didn't faze me all that much when it came. i feel happy about it in one way and in a other i still love her. I wish i would of been better for her but honestly i'm a selfish person. I look to much at what i want out of life not what i have and what i can do for those around me. I could of done more to try and make her happy but i think i stopped trying when she started pulling away from me. it's not all my fault though because she stopped trying as well so it ended anticlimactically with not so much as a argument but simple over a text from her to me saying it's over. it's odd though sense i feel numb about it all. all i'm looking to do now is find a new girlfriend maybe one i have more chemistry with but in truth i don't think i'll make anyone happy because i cant make my self happy. so after thinking about all this so much tonight I've started to think sense i cant make my self happy i should just do my best to make life easier on those around me. I've never truly felt happy in my short life so why bother spending some much time on a goal i haven't gotten closer to i should at least spend it constructively. to do this i should spend my time doing better at my job even know there really ins't much i could get out of it but the knowledge that it will make those i deal with at work have a easier life and my managers look better in the eyes of their superiors. it's funny though how much i have to try just to get simple joys out of life like the realization how futile it is to seek a goal like happiness because in truth to me being human is a state of existence in which you have endless hunger for things that can never be satisfied. i don't mean to sound like every one is like me but i simple write this to get out the frustration of not being heard or able to tell those around me the way i feel. so thank you all that read this and please reply to this message with what ever you what to say even if it's not close to what i'm writing about i'll read your replies and at least know that i'm not the only one out here that is willing to spill his thoughts and fillings onto this portion of cyberspace.
it's been a long time sense i've been on these forms and i probably wont login that often even know i've decided to login today.
I've been thinking a lot about my life and what wrong with me socially. My girlfriend of two years broke up with me last Sunday and i don't know exactly how i feel about that. i'm really don't fell that up set about. I feel bad that i wasn't really that attached to her to have this break up affect me more. i knew it was coming to an end but it didn't faze me all that much when it came. i feel happy about it in one way and in a other i still love her. I wish i would of been better for her but honestly i'm a selfish person. I look to much at what i want out of life not what i have and what i can do for those around me. I could of done more to try and make her happy but i think i stopped trying when she started pulling away from me. it's not all my fault though because she stopped trying as well so it ended anticlimactically with not so much as a argument but simple over a text from her to me saying it's over. it's odd though sense i feel numb about it all. all i'm looking to do now is find a new girlfriend maybe one i have more chemistry with but in truth i don't think i'll make anyone happy because i cant make my self happy. so after thinking about all this so much tonight I've started to think sense i cant make my self happy i should just do my best to make life easier on those around me. I've never truly felt happy in my short life so why bother spending some much time on a goal i haven't gotten closer to i should at least spend it constructively. to do this i should spend my time doing better at my job even know there really ins't much i could get out of it but the knowledge that it will make those i deal with at work have a easier life and my managers look better in the eyes of their superiors. it's funny though how much i have to try just to get simple joys out of life like the realization how futile it is to seek a goal like happiness because in truth to me being human is a state of existence in which you have endless hunger for things that can never be satisfied. i don't mean to sound like every one is like me but i simple write this to get out the frustration of not being heard or able to tell those around me the way i feel. so thank you all that read this and please reply to this message with what ever you what to say even if it's not close to what i'm writing about i'll read your replies and at least know that i'm not the only one out here that is willing to spill his thoughts and fillings onto this portion of cyberspace.
