Not getting a response from people

[Serephina]

It does happen to me but to be honest I can be just as guilty of it. I complain that I haven't heard from anyone and that I feel lonely but sometimes someone texts me and I get so caught up with other things that they might not get a reply for a few days. It isn't that they have done something wrong. I have actually had people ask me if they have upset me because they haven't received a response when they haven't. They are worthy of my time,but my Son has some medical issues and people who know me understand that he has to come first. All I am saying is that there might be a genuine explanation rather than they just can't be bothered with you.

 

[boonieghoul]

I've had that, as well. Sometimes, they just can't be bothered. Sometimes, their life just gets in the way. Sometimes, you strike them as needy, creepy, weird, or unsettling. Sometimes, they just forget. We're dealing with imperfect, stumbling, easily distracted human beings, some better, many worse, and they're dealing with life as best they can. Sometimes, you're lonely, and they just don't care. I wish it was otherwise.

 

[LonesomeLoner]

Well at least I'm not the only person with this situation.

To be honest this is pissing me off too much for me to even care any more. I'm most likely getting rid of skype again, and trying to get out more in the real world.

 

[lonelyfairy]

This has happened few times before to me. At first when I wasn't so used to it, I was really hurt and confused... But now I don't care. They might have other more important things to do, own problems in their lives or just simply doesn't want talk to me anymore (which is fine too). No reason to take it personally, especially if the person is someone completely random person who you don't know or isn't close to you in any way. Of course it would be a good behavior at least let me know if they have lost interest talking with me. No harsh feelings about it, though.

 

[Bob Lee]

This has happened few times before to me. At first when I wasn't so used to it, I was really hurt and confused... But now I don't care. They might have other more important things to do, own problems in their lives or just simply doesn't want talk to me anymore (which is fine too). No reason to take it personally, especially if the person is someone completely random person who you don't know or isn't close to you in any way. Of course it would be a good behavior at least let me know if they have lost interest talking with me. No harsh feelings about it, though.

I agree with all of the above.
If only people were willing to be more straight forward with their feelings,
Many of the unpleasant experiences we have in life would be unnecessary.

Sadly, it seems that social circles prefers indifference and are okay with lies.

 

[Veruca]

I'm sorry this is happening. It's happened to me plenty of times and I try not to take it personally anymore. Sometimes people have a bad day or think you'll call instead of text if it's important. I've gone months without seeing or hearing from a friend but when I finally pushed him into meeting up, he was complete silent, drained and not fun to be around. Other times, people get snappy or complain because they feel they are doing you a huge favor by answering. Best to be around someone when they want to engage.

Also, don't try to be too pushy or read into things too much. I've been on the opposite end of that and it feels burdensome. It's hard to see the other side. My sibling will yell at me for not returning her call or being slow in my texts while sometimes I don't hear from her for a week after I originally contact her.

Move on, get busy, and the lack of a response will jar less. But check in every once in a while on the relationships you don't want to simply fade away over time. It can be something like this link made me think of you, hope you're well. These communications don't require a response, but it lets people know you are thinking of them.

I agree with Edamame, LL. I could resonate with your post and was wondering how to deal with the situation myself. Thanks for posting.

And thanks E for the advice.

 

[lonelyfairy]

This has happened few times before to me. At first when I wasn't so used to it, I was really hurt and confused... But now I don't care. They might have other more important things to do, own problems in their lives or just simply doesn't want talk to me anymore (which is fine too). No reason to take it personally, especially if the person is someone completely random person who you don't know or isn't close to you in any way. Of course it would be a good behavior at least let me know if they have lost interest talking with me. No harsh feelings about it, though.

I agree with all of the above.
If only people were willing to be more straight forward with their feelings,
Many of the unpleasant experiences we have in life would be unnecessary.

Sadly, it seems that social circles prefers indifference and are okay with lies.

Yes... If only people could be more honest with themselves. We can't hide from our feelings forever, someday those feelings will be revealed anyway, so the more harder it becomes when you finally reveal everything if you continue bottling those feelings up.

 

[PenDragon]

when it's random people who are not close and understanding enough, it's very easy to deal with but real problem arises when your close friends or even best friends stop communicating all of a sudden and all the time mind keeps thinking What did I do wrong? and best part is, you'll never know what went wrong or it was even a wrong in first place.

Been there, takes quite a lot of time to heal when people just drop out of your life without saying anything, atleast one word or two or maybe last goodbye. Is it too much to ask? Am I wrong to think this way? Atleast they should have decency even in leaving someone for forever. But I guess there is no point in lingering in past, Must keep moving forward no matter what happens.

 

[LolaEliot]

To me, all the time. I think I get use to it now.
And they only text me with "can I go to your place and live for a few days?" or "I'll get married next month, do you come to my wedding?"(note: In China, if you go to a wedding, you need to give money to them)
I said, nooooooooooooo!! And they never contact me again. haha...

 

[Stonely]

People who don't bother to respond to you aren't real and you shouldn't desire them in your life.

 

[ladyforsaken]

People who don't bother to respond to you aren't real and you shouldn't desire them in your life.

Well, they are real, you just have to learn not to feel bothered by their lack of response because there are others who will.

 

[Butternutcapper]

I would just cut them off it's obvious they don't respect you :l I kinda made a promise to value myself and not let others take advantage of me. You're a valuable person, and don't let others take you for granted

 

[M_also_lonely]

Just telling you the truth, it is possible that they may not want to talk to you. There was a girl in my school whom I sent a message. After some days (1-2) she stopped replying to my messages. When I asked if she was busy, she said, "Yes." I thought she might have some work to do.
Later on, when I found that my room partner was talking to her on Skype, I just realized that now she is not that busy as she was previously. May be she has finished her work and having some break. So I sent her a message. She didnt reply. For days. While she was regularly talking to him.
Soon I realized that whenever I saw people not replying, all of them not intended to talk to me.

So out of many possibilities, this maybe a possiblity too. I dont know whose fault is it. And why do we go through these situations while some people chat all day and never get tired and at the end of the day, post on Facebook, "Feeling lonely with 50 others" .

 

[LonesomeDay]

There's nothing worse than misplaced hope. It can eat away at your time and eventually wear away your soul. How about setting a time limit? Wait so long and no more? Remind them gently that you wrote to them but haven't yet received a reply. Ask them if they received your message, and have they read it. If you don't get a reply, withdraw quietly and gracefully. Give them no more of your time (and that includes hope time).

 

[Bob Lee]

There's nothing worse than misplaced hope. It can eat away at your time and eventually wear away your soul. How about setting a time limit? Wait so long and no more? Remind them gently that you wrote to them but haven't yet received a reply. Ask them if they received your message, and have they read it. If you don't get a reply, withdraw quietly and gracefully. Give them no more of your time (and that includes hope time).

Very good advice. Its painful to constantly keep giving people the benefit of the doubt. It sucks.

The bottom line of the matter is, as much as we would like to issue blanket judgement for all in this type of situation. We have to at least give people some time to reply, and give people the benefit of the doubt.

Me personally, I give them a day.
With the availability and speeds of technology there is really no reason why you can't get a reply by the end of the next day.
If I don't hear from them by then chances are I don't resonate well with there personal social infrastructure and they are just gonna silence me away hoping I "naturally" get the message. Maybe I'm too smart for them, or too stupid for them. Perhaps they just find me flat out boring. Whatever! lol
I don't care its fine, I just wish people would be more clear with there feelings. It would save so much time!

If I was receiving unwanted communication. I can easily make my position clear and with kindness as well.

Its not hard to say (for example)....

" Thanks for all your thoughts and responses you clearly meant to be helpful...Thank you. This will be my last message to you. I wouldn't be good social company to you. We are simply too much not alike, so I don't want any misunderstandings and I would really appreciate it if you send no further replies. I hope I don't come off as mean. I am a person that is real and is very loyal to anyone I resonate well with and consider as friend. I do not play Fake games with people. You deserve someone who will click well with you and generally tell you the truth. I'm afraid that person is not me. I truly do wish you to be happy! Good Luck! Peace! "

Or something else to that effect. You get the idea.