Not Really A 'People Person' Anymore...

[JustALonelyGuy]

Back when I was younger, and even not so long ago, I used to be a 'people person'. I Used to love talkin to people and gettin to know them and making friends.

Lately though, I ahve found I want to keep myself to myself more ( I am evens struggling with comin here, posting and responding)

Why have I become like this? the last few years I seeminly met more and more hostile people. it even got harder to meet people online. Everyone these days seems so negative, apathetic, cold and closed off to others. I can't even meet many new friends online because this 'opnenesss' has been lost, not just by them, but perhaps by me aswell. I wouldn't dream of just 'blaming others' for my downfall.

So nowadays, I keep myself to myself. I ahve one ood friend outside the internet and about 2, maybe 3 I tlak to on msn and a lady I talk to from here through hotmail.

Anyone else in this situation where they felt people and themselves are going abckwards?

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm not sure what it is exactly but all I can think of is that you're probably surrounded and meeting a lot of negative people. Or could just be that you changed... for some reason?

 

[Rosebolt]

Everyone these days seems so closed off to others.

So nowadays, I keep myself to myself.

As you already pointed out, that is quite the contradiction.

To answer your question, yes, i've also experienced this. Very recently, actually, but it was because i wanted it to happen, and i don't see it as a negative thing.

Anyway, you cannot possibly expect people to be more open to you if you're not open to them anymore. Be the change you want to see. That is all the advice i can give for now.

 

[Skid Row 89]

Everyone these days seems so closed off to others.

So nowadays, I keep myself to myself.

As you already pointed out, that is quite the contradiction.

To answer your question, yes, i've also experienced this. Very recently, actually, but it was because i wanted it to happen, and i don't see it as a negative thing.

Anyway, you cannot possibly expect people to be more open to you if you're not open to them anymore. Be the change you want to see. That is all the advice i can give for now.

Similarly to you, Rosebolt, I've chosen to close myself off to others more. I think most people I know could take or leave me, most seem indifferent towards me or react negatively so I'm not as enthusiastic to meet people. The key is finding positive people to converse with and spend time with.

 

[Lady X]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

 

[duff]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

same here, I'm just sick of other people to be honest. Ive been lied to, treated like honeysuckle so many times. So many horrible people at work, I used to like them but it's like everything I say - they just argue with. And they think they are right all the time ! A year ago I was always sending messages on facebook or on my mobile. Now I don't at all. People lie, they talk behind my back, they stitch me up, drop me in the honeysuckle. People get in touch with me just to use me for something. Ive had enough. I just keep myself to myself and I am happy doing that.

I have my family and a few people who I play golf with and that's it. Ive got loads of customers mostly who I chat to and I enjoy it but I'm not close to any of them.

 

[Skid Row 89]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

same here, I'm just sick of other people to be honest. Ive been lied to, treated like honeysuckle so many times. So many horrible people at work, I used to like them but it's like everything I say - they just argue with. And they think they are right all the time ! A year ago I was always sending messages on facebook or on my mobile. Now I don't at all. People lie, they talk behind my back, they stitch me up, drop me in the honeysuckle. People get in touch with me just to use me for something. Ive had enough. I just keep myself to myself and I am happy doing that.

I have my family and a few people who I play golf with and that's it. Ive got loads of customers mostly who I chat to and I enjoy it but I'm not close to any of them.

I've had negative experiences with Facebook. Found out that most of my class had something against me and were slagging me off at every opportunity. I don't go on Facebook much any more and don't miss it much anyway. I'm content having very few trustworthy friends who I don't hear from much, it's far better than having lots of "friends" who aren't worth the time of day.

 

[ucxb]

I'm content having very few trustworthy friends who I don't hear from much, it's far better than having lots of "friends" who aren't worth the time of day.

I agree and to the OP, I can relate in the sense that I know who my true friends are. I am transitioning because of grief, pain and I do not think of it as going backwards. The challenges will define me

 

[Tuppence]

Being nice doesn't seem fashionable. Maybe everyone's worried about appearing fake. I would rather people were fake than horrible. From reading books, it seems like fakeness is what used to be called politeness.

Most fashions change. I hope this one does. It's hard to believe anyone can really enjoy it.

 

[duff]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

same here, I'm just sick of other people to be honest. Ive been lied to, treated like honeysuckle so many times. So many horrible people at work, I used to like them but it's like everything I say - they just argue with. And they think they are right all the time ! A year ago I was always sending messages on facebook or on my mobile. Now I don't at all. People lie, they talk behind my back, they stitch me up, drop me in the honeysuckle. People get in touch with me just to use me for something. Ive had enough. I just keep myself to myself and I am happy doing that.

I have my family and a few people who I play golf with and that's it. Ive got loads of customers mostly who I chat to and I enjoy it but I'm not close to any of them.

I've had negative experiences with Facebook. Found out that most of my class had something against me and were slagging me off at every opportunity. I don't go on Facebook much any more and don't miss it much anyway. I'm content having very few trustworthy friends who I don't hear from much, it's far better than having lots of "friends" who aren't worth the time of day.

I used to also convince myself that people cared about me. Pretend I had 'friends' when in fact these people didn't really give a honeysuckle. So I woke up and stopped wasting my time with almost everybody. A few did write after a few months asking me where I was. They then said 'keep in touch' only to disapear for several months again.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I used to also convince myself that people cared about me. Pretend I had 'friends' when in fact these people didn't really give a honeysuckle. So I woke up and stopped wasting my time with almost everybody. A few did write after a few months asking me where I was. They then said 'keep in touch' only to disappear for several months again.

Yea, people tell you keep in touch; but they usually don't mean it.

 

[Regumika]

I'm content having very few trustworthy friends who I don't hear from much, it's far better than having lots of "friends" who aren't worth the time of day.

I agree to this.

OP, I am going to assume it has to do with your age. No, not because of what your age is, but that people your age have responsibilities. When you were younger, your 'friends' has no responsibilities and can tell you about themselves. Meeting new people is easy, because they have all the time in the world. Now, people have responsibilities, jobs and/or school. They are left with little time to socialize. You are used to spending a lot of time socializing and is still requiring the same (or similar) of someone. For me, I don't have time to... for lack of better word, "entertain" ten people throughout the week. I have a job, I have things I need done around the house, I need time to relax, I need to cook my own food. I can fit a healthy dose of 2-3 friends, but any more than that will start draining my life away.

You see people with many 'friends', they aren't friends, they are just hang out buddies. usually co workers, or ex co workers.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yes, things are a lot harder to meet friends now a day, especially true friends. And be able to trust them. When I was younger, I had so many friends and was very social. But overtime I was bullied and picked on people people and started to socially withdrawn from people cause I was always scared of being judged. Now I'm nervous to talk to anyone in person, I normally talk to people through message boards now. Mainly cause I can't go up to people and start a conversation with them. Plus I have a hard time trusting anyone cause I've been hurt so much already in my life.

 

[Gondwanaland]

Back when I was younger, and even not so long ago, I used to be a 'people person'. I Used to love talkin to people and gettin to know them and making friends.

Lately though, I ahve found I want to keep myself to myself more ( I am evens struggling with comin here, posting and responding)

Why have I become like this? the last few years I seeminly met more and more hostile people. it even got harder to meet people online. Everyone these days seems so negative, apathetic, cold and closed off to others. I can't even meet many new friends online because this 'opnenesss' has been lost, not just by them, but perhaps by me aswell. I wouldn't dream of just 'blaming others' for my downfall.

So nowadays, I keep myself to myself. I ahve one ood friend outside the internet and about 2, maybe 3 I tlak to on msn and a lady I talk to from here through hotmail.

Anyone else in this situation where they felt people and themselves are going abckwards?

That's not going backwards. Sometimes, when you give the best of you, others won't simply recognize it. Besides, they're gonna use that to benefit themselves. That's how things are, in my opinion.

This is actually happening to me. I feel like I'm not as open and friendly as I used to be in the past...

I don't know, but I don't believe in the concept of 'friendship'. Perhaps, you'll find some good friend in the future, but it's too difficult.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

This is so sad this has happened to you. But I agree, people are just so apathetic and indifferent to anyone but themselves, they think of thir own gains and itnerests and if you dont fit that need, they indeed, screw you over. Im trying hard to be positive about it but its really hard. I really dislike people these days

---

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

same here, I'm just sick of other people to be honest. Ive been lied to, treated like honeysuckle so many times. So many horrible people at work, I used to like them but it's like everything I say - they just argue with. And they think they are right all the time ! A year ago I was always sending messages on facebook or on my mobile. Now I don't at all. People lie, they talk behind my back, they stitch me up, drop me in the honeysuckle. People get in touch with me just to use me for something. Ive had enough. I just keep myself to myself and I am happy doing that.

I have my family and a few people who I play golf with and that's it. Ive got loads of customers mostly who I chat to and I enjoy it but I'm not close to any of them.

Duff, apart from my fmaily and one good friend. Im EXACTLY the same. I too, have my customers but wouldnt dare to get close to anyone. People ahve crossed me so many times. Im on the vere of ahtin people, but to avoid hate, because it is strong, I just choose to dislike many and not 'get involved'. Most people are just brainwashed sheep who have contributed to the mess of this country (uk) by beleivin the liar politicians and doing absolutely NOTHING to helps others and themselves from our arrodin freedoms and civil liberties. Grrr.. :club:

---

Yes, things are a lot harder to meet friends now a day, especially true friends. And be able to trust them. When I was younger, I had so many friends and was very social. But overtime I was bullied and picked on people people and started to socially withdrawn from people cause I was always scared of being judged. Now I'm nervous to talk to anyone in person, I normally talk to people through message boards now. Mainly cause I can't go up to people and start a conversation with them. Plus I have a hard time trusting anyone cause I've been hurt so much already in my life.

aww Wallflower I know exactly how this feels. I am getting to talk to people less and less because like you, Im fed up of and scared of bein judged. Sometiems, I wish I could turn back the clock you know? seems like its gettin shitter :\ People nowadays just dont seem worth it, as hard as it is to say that. I used to be such a strong person but thats fading rapidly too. I am so drained.

 

[aribeth]

I used to be a people person. Had lots of friends. Now since my stroke I do not. I have 3 friends tops now and I hardly see them. I have a hard time finding things to say to others. Usually my mind draws a blank.

 

[duff]

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

This is so sad this has happened to you. But I agree, people are just so apathetic and indifferent to anyone but themselves, they think of thir own gains and itnerests and if you dont fit that need, they indeed, screw you over. Im trying hard to be positive about it but its really hard. I really dislike people these days

---

OP, I feel the same as you do mate.

I've tried, really really tried to get involved with new people and make new friends. But the sad fact of it is that I've been screwed over by everyone I've ever been friends with.

I'm not a people person because when people get to know me, they realise that I have a few "key skills" that are very useful (I work in IT) and from then on I just become a number to call when a computer is broken, or when I can do something else for them. I don't actually remember the last time someone just wanted to hang out with me.

So eventually, I've just stopped looking.

same here, I'm just sick of other people to be honest. Ive been lied to, treated like honeysuckle so many times. So many horrible people at work, I used to like them but it's like everything I say - they just argue with. And they think they are right all the time ! A year ago I was always sending messages on facebook or on my mobile. Now I don't at all. People lie, they talk behind my back, they stitch me up, drop me in the honeysuckle. People get in touch with me just to use me for something. Ive had enough. I just keep myself to myself and I am happy doing that.

I have my family and a few people who I play golf with and that's it. Ive got loads of customers mostly who I chat to and I enjoy it but I'm not close to any of them.

Duff, apart from my fmaily and one good friend. Im EXACTLY the same. I too, have my customers but wouldnt dare to get close to anyone. People ahve crossed me so many times. Im on the vere of ahtin people, but to avoid hate, because it is strong, I just choose to dislike many and not 'get involved'. Most people are just brainwashed sheep who have contributed to the mess of this country (uk) by beleivin the liar politicians and doing absolutely NOTHING to helps others and themselves from our arrodin freedoms and civil liberties. Grrr.. :club:

---

Yes, things are a lot harder to meet friends now a day, especially true friends. And be able to trust them. When I was younger, I had so many friends and was very social. But overtime I was bullied and picked on people people and started to socially withdrawn from people cause I was always scared of being judged. Now I'm nervous to talk to anyone in person, I normally talk to people through message boards now. Mainly cause I can't go up to people and start a conversation with them. Plus I have a hard time trusting anyone cause I've been hurt so much already in my life.

aww Wallflower I know exactly how this feels. I am getting to talk to people less and less because like you, Im fed up of and scared of bein judged. Sometiems, I wish I could turn back the clock you know? seems like its gettin shitter :\ People nowadays just dont seem worth it, as hard as it is to say that. I used to be such a strong person but thats fading rapidly too. I am so drained.

---

---

I'm not complaining though, I prefer my life as it is now. Two years ago every day I seemed to be waiting for a text from somebody, or sending 'hello' messages on facebook. I was trying to make friends and I didn't enjoy it. People hardly replied to my messages and they definately never initiated the contact. It was all bullshite.

 

[Skid Row 89]

I'm not complaining though, I prefer my life as it is now. Two years ago every day I seemed to be waiting for a text from somebody, or sending 'hello' messages on facebook. I was trying to make friends and I didn't enjoy it. People hardly replied to my messages and they definately never initiated the contact. It was all bullshite.

This sounds a lot like me maybe two or three odd years ago also. It makes me laugh to think that I used to care when someone didn't reply to me on Facebook chat or something akin to that haha. It's far better to make friends naturally without going to such lengths to win them over.

 

[duff]

I'm not complaining though, I prefer my life as it is now. Two years ago every day I seemed to be waiting for a text from somebody, or sending 'hello' messages on facebook. I was trying to make friends and I didn't enjoy it. People hardly replied to my messages and they definately never initiated the contact. It was all bullshite.

This sounds a lot like me maybe two or three odd years ago also. It makes me laugh to think that I used to care when someone didn't reply to me on Facebook chat or something akin to that haha. It's far better to make friends naturally without going to such lengths to win them over.

and also if some woman 'liked' my comments on facebook I would somehow think I had gained something with her. Sort of made steps towards her liking me. Of course while this was going on, some other bloke was screwing her. That's the conclusion everytime. Some other bloke.

 

[Skid Row 89]

I'm not complaining though, I prefer my life as it is now. Two years ago every day I seemed to be waiting for a text from somebody, or sending 'hello' messages on facebook. I was trying to make friends and I didn't enjoy it. People hardly replied to my messages and they definately never initiated the contact. It was all bullshite.

This sounds a lot like me maybe two or three odd years ago also. It makes me laugh to think that I used to care when someone didn't reply to me on Facebook chat or something akin to that haha. It's far better to make friends naturally without going to such lengths to win them over.

and also if some woman 'liked' my comments on facebook I would somehow think I had gained something with her. Sort of made steps towards her liking me. Of course while this was going on, some other bloke was screwing her. That's the conclusion everytime. Some other bloke.

I only keep my account to keep in touch with one or two people I had a real connection with but have moved away. Despite that I'm still considering leaving it for good.