obsession

[misa]

did you ever have an infatuation or limerrance that developed into a full blown obsession and petered away until you were still obsessed out of habit and were just sick of it. i am in this situation. i am so sick of being obsessed with this guy but i can't get away from thinking about him

i wish that i could get that memory eraser operation from essm, but out of annoyance rather than sadness.

i really dont love this guy. but i am stuck on him somehow. i think about him way too often and he's not even around. i barely even know him and in fact he is a really huge ******* (surprise surprise) and i am glad he is not in my life. but my brain has a mind of its own and doesn't seem to give a **** about my feelings.

its like i actually don't care about him but my brain is too lonely or bored or something ... i don't know.

:club:

 

[Danielle]

yes i know what you mean... but not to the point of being stalkerish or anything.. well maybe on Facebook

but yeah, there is this one guy that hasnt spoken to me in 2 months.. yet i am still obsessing over him like crazy. we never dated, I just like him.. i too hate this feeling.

 

[misa]

yeah i do check his facebook. i wonder if people got over people more easily prior to facebook?

its been way longer than two months for me. its actually been more than two years. at this point i tell myself to let it die already. it is really weird i know...

maybe i am weird but i guess i am just confused about it. but no matter how much i think about why i shouldn't think about it, it will never work. that guy doesn't care about me at all and does not think about me at all and i what i am doing is just strange/crazy...

its so weird that i know that and i know i wouldn't care about him if i saw him again but my brain goes back to over and over...

maybe i really need to just get a real boyfriend.

 

[queenwindbaby]

yeah i do check his facebook. i wonder if people got over people more easily prior to facebook?

its been way longer than two months for me. its actually been more than two years. at this point i tell myself to let it die already. it is really weird i know...

maybe i am weird but i guess i am just confused about it. but no matter how much i think about why i shouldn't think about it, it will never work. that guy doesn't care about me at all and does not think about me at all and i what i am doing is just strange/crazy...

its so weird that i know that and i know i wouldn't care about him if i saw him again but my brain goes back to over and over...

maybe i really need to just get a real boyfriend.

____________________________________________________________

Misa-find a subtitute, that's the answer. It doesn't matter what it is...

 

[Brian]

Oh, certainly.

I met a girl online a number of years ago and we seriously hit it off at first. It was one of those situations where we would spend eight hours talking every night and eventually fell in to an internet relationship. Did I mention she was gorgeous?

Long story short, we met in person once. The event was incredibly awkward and built of festering, cancerous failure. We spoke once afterward (and, surprise of surprises, determined that we are both very shy) and then never again. I was devastated for a year and a half, forlorn for two more, and slowly petered off in to occasionally-remembered regret.

All along I kept track of her on her MySpace and watched her flickr account on a daily basis. I even discovered through online records that she had received a traffic citation, and somehow discovered her physical address which let me use google earth to look at her place of residence from the Eye in the Sky.

I've stopped that, but I still look at her MySpace and Flickr every week or so. My intent has never been malicious...but in my regrets and my general state of depression, I just liked to try and have an idea of what she was like and what she was doing with her life. I liked to try and think of what being with her would have been like, to imagine myself in that position.

But, yeah; even though I've basically let go at this point, it's such an ingrained habit to check on her that I still feel inclined to do it. At one point the pain was all I had left of her, and remembering was the only way to trigger it. Now I can't even feel that, and I'm not sure if I like that or not.



It's been months since she was in my dreams. I've journaled several dreams that she's been in. They are the clearest, most vivid and emotionally-impacting dreams I've had in my life. And after several sad ones, they started getting happy, with my last one I think being earlier this year. I think perhaps that happy dream may have been my interpretation of closure; in the last moments of the dream I was finally together with her, and I had the dream at a time when I was ultimately coming to accept things and move on; I was numb to the loss. So perhaps in coming to be at peace with the loss, I came to be at peace with her, hence the dream.

Still, I miss having them; even the couple that I woke up in tears from.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

U R the antidote that gets me by. Something strong like a drug that gets me high....

Hey..ur in ur disease. U R my after drug

Im trying to forget Im addicted to U.
but I want it..I need it...Im addicted to you. Heartbreaker....im addicted to u.


These r just lyrics to some songs i can relate to. But it helps me to know..im not alone in this...
Im a recoverying addict. My disease of addiction manifest itself in other forms...such as women. Im an addict. Ican get addicted to whatever. Have addicted personalities or vari degree of OCPD.
Living tools to help me heal or cope.
FOCUS...Living in the moment, be present not in my head.
Meditations..just obserrve my thought s N watch it as a passing parade. Not fight it...what I resist persist.

Drop it..dont figure it out N just let it go.
Write or journal..so i dont have crazy thoughts n obsess all day lone.

My mind obsess becuz its trying to resolve something that cant be resolved..then it gose into complusion.
Acceptence or letting go helps...

 

[Badjedidude]

I can't say that I've ever been obsessed with someone, no.

Obsession is sickness, IMHO. A healthy relationship won't work when one person is putting the other on a pedestal or image-worshipping, etc.

 

[misa]

My mind obsess becuz its trying to resolve something that cant be resolved..then it gose into complusion.

that's exactly right. what happened happened. there wont be a resolution. and if there was anything would be resolved. its like a cycle but i'm the only one in it.

what i do is similar to what brian does. checking flikr etc. once i banned myself from looking at his profile. i didn't look for about two weeks and it seemed like months.

i wonder if i could not check his profile for an entire year....

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im going trhough a break up @ the moment. My GF still calls me after she swears up and done that she wont.

I know its part of the process becuz we gotten attached. I also allowed her to vent or express her anger to me...
This gives her sometype of closure. And SHE HAD A CHIOCE or a say so in our break up ..so that she wont obsess anymore than she has to.

I dont judge her She dosnt judge me.
We actually have a loving N understanding relationship.
We both know our relationship wont flurish if both of us dont make life style changes.

 

[Code S.O.L]

Can't say I've ever been beyond the temporary crush level. I might have multiple crushes on the same girl, but they leave just as they arrive. Crushes. Nothing more, nothing less.