She made fun of me in front of everyone....

[BeyondShy]

Some girls (and guys) are bitches and feel the need to act "cool" around their friends. It's not designated to just teenagers though, I've seen it happen with older people too.

I can vouch for this. There is no age limit for people to put down another person in front of others for their own enjoyment.

My point is that if asking someone out is too "private" to be done in front of people, maybe you shouldn't be taking her out at all, even if she were to say yes. If you're scared of her friends and their opinions, well, whatever might happen with the girl is pretty much messed from the start.

I do see what you mean too and if I actually had a backbone I would have this attitude. It's like this. You want to ask a girl out to a movie or dinner. Is there something wrong with that? Not a bit. Her friends are going to find out what happened and what she is going to do five minutes after you ask her and again, if I had nerve enough I would not mind at all if they were there when yours truly did the asking. Then again when something like that happens you should immediately duck for flying pigs.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Hey Hey hey people...I read all your opinions, but I feel that the problem is in me.....Because when I was at school, people behaved with me the same way.

And now I am in college where all people are new. And a new place..... AND they are behaving the same way....
So obviously I am wrong somewhere. But nobody says whats wrong with me...All they say (and those people at school said) That you do no not appear smart. You look like a dumb person, who can just look around, abd understand nothing..

Something like that.....

 

[VanillaCreme]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

If a girl is emotionally stable she won't depend on her friends either way.

An emotionally unstable girl, like the one M talked to, could react even worse if spoken to alone. Her insecurity issues might erupt and cause her to be even more cruel and cause a scene to perpetuate the illusion that she is strong through cruelty.
It's possible there is a 'normal girl' who falls victim to the peer pressure of her friends and may react better alone, but is that really someone who anyone wants to be with? And what if you start dating and her friends disapprove behind your back? Then what?

No, a girl is a girl. It should not matter where she is.

Less embarrassment for him and her. Maybe she was showing off ?
It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

Regardless of if the friends were pieces of caca, that doesn't mean that someone shouldn't be able to approach her while anyone else is around. Sometimes people do act differently in front of friends or family, so I'm not say it's a complete rule out. Is it unwise? I wouldn't say so. A decent person is a decent person no matter who they're surrounded by. She could have just as easily been nice to him and nice about the situation. She chose not to be. That's to be blamed on no one but her.

Hey Hey hey people...I read all your opinions, but I feel that the problem is in me.....Because when I was at school, people behaved with me the same way.

And now I am in college where all people are new. And a new place..... AND they are behaving the same way....
So obviously I am wrong somewhere. But nobody says whats wrong with me...All they say (and those people at school said) That you do no not appear smart. You look like a dumb person, who can just look around, abd understand nothing..

Something like that.....

You'll find people who won't treat you like that. It may take a while, and you may not even know it, but there's plenty more people who would treat you with respect and care. Until then, learning to weed out the people who would throw you under the bus while their friends are driving it can help a great deal.

 

[h3donist]

But nobody says whats wrong with me...

That's because there isn't anything "wrong" with you. Nothing at all. In fact it sounds like you've dodged a bullet there.

You put yourself in a situation that could have gone one of two ways and sadly it didn't go the way you wanted it to. In fact it showed what a cowardly and ugly person she is (I don't mean ugly in looks). Do you really want to be emotionally tied to someone like that? I don't think so. You sound a decent, honest chap and she sounds the complete opposite.

you might feel lonely now, but there is nothing lonelier than being trapped with someone who doesn't love and respect you. Trust me.

 

[Despicable Me]

Hey Hey hey people...I read all your opinions, but I feel that the problem is in me.....Because when I was at school, people behaved with me the same way.

And now I am in college where all people are new. And a new place..... AND they are behaving the same way....
So obviously I am wrong somewhere. But nobody says whats wrong with me...All they say (and those people at school said) That you do no not appear smart. You look like a dumb person, who can just look around, abd understand nothing..

Something like that.....

If people are judging you without you doing anything to deserve it then that is not a problem in you. That is entirely their problem.
You end up with low self-esteem because of their problems put on you which does eventually wear you down and make you feel like there it is you.

I used to feel that way, too, but eventually I realized it really wasn't me.

The fact it carries around with you to new places is confusing. It is probably a mix of both coincidence and self-esteem. If you carry low self-esteem around with you it does tend to make you less popular in new places, sometimes. But it also depends on the circumstances. Sometimes it is purely just a coincidence.

People might think you're not smart but what difference does it make? You are who you are, and people can either accept you for who you are or not.
People who jump to conclusions about people's intelligence so quickly like you describe are usually not so bright themselves. They fail to realize that there are different kinds of intelligence.
I went back and read some of your older posts and, for example, you mentioned how you solved a Rubik's Cube very quickly? That requires a certain kind of intelligence, something a lot of people don't have, but you do.

So who cares what other people say if its not true? And don't go thinking that people can tell you things about yourself without knowing you, first. They can't. They aren't psychic and the only way they can truly judge you is if they get to know you first. (And sometimes people will still have their own problems that they try to put on others.)

The most important thing here is that the girl you liked before is a jerk. You don't need her. You wouldn't really want her even if you had her. I doubt anyone truly wants to be with a girl like that.

So what should you do now? Maybe start by finding a girl who feels the same way you do. One who also gets made fun of by the other students. If you find a girl like that I bet you'll find you both have quite a bit in common.
It seems to me that, perhaps, in the past you've been focusing a little too much on a girls' looks. You seem to choose bratty spoiled girls and obsess over them (which is very common for younger boys/men). So maybe you could try to focus more on girls personalities and find someone who is actually right for you. Someone who is rather emotionally stable and will actually accept you, and not someone who will insult and judge you.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Oops, I didn't notice this thread when I answered to your other thread, sorry! :/ They sound so childish and immature, you deserve someone better. She isn't worth of your time! I am so sorry this happened to you. :< What a mean girl!

 

[M_also_lonely]

I met my uncle who is a psychiatrist.....He said that my face cannot express emotions. Like people will feel as if I am pretending. Like whatever I feel from the inside, my face just stays blank. He said, "Its like a donkey, you know, you are just a body who is present at a place, standing, no expressions, its just you. You cannot show how happy or sad you are by your face.Your face does not reflect smartness and confidence. No matter whatever is there inside your mind, you do not "APPEAR" imprrssive and friendly. I am not saying that you are not, but its what you look like."


And when I asked for the solution, he didnt reply, he said, "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" .

So obviously problem was not in her, it is in me....She is not wrong.....

---

And when I asked one of my classmates for what to do about it, he said that "You are not that smart,but its not your fault.Your face looks like you are a person who cannot FEEL anything. I think it is genetic. You cannot change it. Sorry."

So it was me everytime. Now I can see why people have always rejected me....And avoided me.....I want someone to come here for me....But I am all alone, crying....I know that this will never change, because it is obvious that you cannot change whats in your genes. I want to think positively, but the world and the reality of mine isnt letting me do it.....

I want to fulfill my dreams, become popular, but offcourse people already hate me and dislike me everywhere even though I really care for them..

You people tell me to find people who treat me good. But how many people do I run behind for to find that good person???
How much more do I wait.? Nobody smiles back when I smile...Its really painful.....And I have felt it contiously since long...I want to be normal like others....I want to be like you people, normal.....Not like me, wierd and boring and dumb.....I want someone to come and listen to me too.....But nobody comes.....

 

[h3donist]

I met my uncle who is a psychiatrist.....He said that my face cannot express emotions. Like people will feel as if I am pretending. Like whatever I feel from the inside, my face just stays blank. He said, "Its like a donkey, you know, you are just a body who is present at a place, standing, no expressions, its just you. You cannot show how happy or sad you are by your face.Your face does not reflect smartness and confidence. No matter whatever is there inside your mind, you do not "APPEAR" imprrssive and friendly. I am not saying that you are not, but its what you look like."

And when I asked for the solution, he didnt reply, he said, "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" .

So obviously problem was not in her, it is in me....She is not wrong.....

---

And when I asked one of my classmates for what to do about it, he said that "You are not that smart,but its not your fault.Your face looks like you are a person who cannot FEEL anything. I think it is genetic. You cannot change it. Sorry."

So it was me everytime. Now I can see why people have always rejected me....And avoided me.....I want someone to come here for me....But I am all alone, crying....I know that this will never change, because it is obvious that you cannot change whats in your genes. I want to think positively, but the world and the reality of mine isnt letting me do it.....

I want to fulfill my dreams, become popular, but offcourse people already hate me and dislike me everywhere even though I really care for them..

You people tell me to find people who treat me good. But how many people do I run behind for to find that good person???
How much more do I wait.? Nobody smiles back when I smile...Its really painful.....And I have felt it contiously since long...I want to be normal like others....I want to be like you people, normal.....Not like me, wierd and boring and dumb.....I want someone to come and listen to me too.....But nobody comes.....

---

Oh FFS. Ok so giving you the benefit of the doubt, say you do so happen to have an Uncle who just so happens to be a psychiatrist; if a psychiatrist had set that to me I'd be probably consulting a lawyer. "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" - who is he? Durell from Superman? One of the Gods of Olympus??!

There's no such thing as luck, or fate and no psychiatrist in the world would suggest there is.

Stop depending on other people to provide your happiness. I can categorically tell you now that if you think that your only source of happiness is with another person then you are in for a very rude awakening. Do what I told you to do - go and contribute something to the world, give blood, do a night class, volunteer somewhere, help other people on here who may have helped you - find your purpose in life and you will become a person that people will want to spend time with naturally. You're young with so much potential at your fingertips - I cannot begin to express just how much. DO NOT waste it.

 

[M_also_lonely]

I met my uncle who is a psychiatrist.....He said that my face cannot express emotions. Like people will feel as if I am pretending. Like whatever I feel from the inside, my face just stays blank. He said, "Its like a donkey, you know, you are just a body who is present at a place, standing, no expressions, its just you. You cannot show how happy or sad you are by your face.Your face does not reflect smartness and confidence. No matter whatever is there inside your mind, you do not "APPEAR" imprrssive and friendly. I am not saying that you are not, but its what you look like."

And when I asked for the solution, he didnt reply, he said, "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" .

So obviously problem was not in her, it is in me....She is not wrong.....

---

And when I asked one of my classmates for what to do about it, he said that "You are not that smart,but its not your fault.Your face looks like you are a person who cannot FEEL anything. I think it is genetic. You cannot change it. Sorry."

So it was me everytime. Now I can see why people have always rejected me....And avoided me.....I want someone to come here for me....But I am all alone, crying....I know that this will never change, because it is obvious that you cannot change whats in your genes. I want to think positively, but the world and the reality of mine isnt letting me do it.....

I want to fulfill my dreams, become popular, but offcourse people already hate me and dislike me everywhere even though I really care for them..

You people tell me to find people who treat me good. But how many people do I run behind for to find that good person???
How much more do I wait.? Nobody smiles back when I smile...Its really painful.....And I have felt it contiously since long...I want to be normal like others....I want to be like you people, normal.....Not like me, wierd and boring and dumb.....I want someone to come and listen to me too.....But nobody comes.....

---

Oh FFS. Ok so giving you the benefit of the doubt, say you do so happen to have an Uncle who just so happens to be a psychiatrist; if a psychiatrist had set that to me I'd be probably consulting a lawyer. "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" - who is he? Durell from Superman? One of the Gods of Olympus??!

There's no such thing as luck, or fate and no psychiatrist in the world would suggest there is.

Stop depending on other people to provide your happiness. I can categorically tell you now that if you think that your only source of happiness is with another person then you are in for a very rude awakening. Do what I told you to do - go and contribute something to the world, give blood, do a night class, volunteer somewhere, help other people on here who may have helped you - find your purpose in life and you will become a person that people will want to spend time with naturally. You're young with so much potential at your fingertips - I cannot begin to express just how much. DO NOT waste it.

---

Yes sir, I remember that. Its just that situations keep arising that demotivate me...... right now I am not having worriesvthat I had when that happened. I am constantly following your steps.

 

[h3donist]

Happens to us all dude. Winston Churchill once said "When you're going through hell - keep going" and it's true. Your resilience will improve as time goes on.

I think everyone is born with a fire inside them, and over time it waxes and wanes. For some it barely becomes more than a glowing ember, for some they let it go out completely. For others, their fire burns brightly and the only way they've done that is by fanning their flame with as much enthusiasm for life as they can muster.

 

[Despicable Me]

I met my uncle who is a psychiatrist.....He said that my face cannot express emotions. Like people will feel as if I am pretending. Like whatever I feel from the inside, my face just stays blank. He said, "Its like a donkey, you know, you are just a body who is present at a place, standing, no expressions, its just you. You cannot show how happy or sad you are by your face.Your face does not reflect smartness and confidence. No matter whatever is there inside your mind, you do not "APPEAR" imprrssive and friendly. I am not saying that you are not, but its what you look like."
And when I asked for the solution, he didnt reply, he said, "Its in your luck, I can analyze your behavior, but cannot change what your fate has given you" .

This isn't the sort of thing that psychiatrists would say. Why would he have said something like this to you?

Again, every time you post I feel like you're leaving out important details. But if this is really the full truth, then your uncle should not be a psychiatrist. In fact, if anyone could prove he said this to you then I know for a fact he could have his licensing taken away.

So obviously problem was not in her, it is in me....She is not wrong.....

Many of us have already told you, her attitude was the problem. She was a jerk, she has a personality issue. She has emotional problems.
So unless there is something you're not telling us then it was her fault, not you.

No one should just ridicule and insults people like that, no matter what they look like or what they do. People who do stuff like that all have their own emotional problems. Their personalities are broken. They are bad people.

And when I asked one of my classmates for what to do about it, he said that "You are not that smart,but its not your fault.Your face looks like you are a person who cannot FEEL anything. I think it is genetic. You cannot change it. Sorry."

You keep talking about your "classmates". Are these your friends, or are you actually just picking out people in class to ask about your problems?
Obviously people who aren't your friends are not going to give you good advice. They don't know you. And if they are your friends then they won't say mean things like that.

I know that this will never change, because it is obvious that you cannot change whats in your genes. I want to think positively, but the world and the reality of mine isnt letting me do it.....

Thinking positively is an internal thing, a mental thing. It has nothing to do with reality outside of your own mind.
So if you want to think positively then it is entirely up to you to do that.

I want to fulfill my dreams, become popular, but offcourse people already hate me and dislike me everywhere even though I really care for them..

Being popular isn't really a good thing, as you might think. There is a reason that popular people are often angry and mean people. And the most popular people in the world (celebrities) often want all the attention to go away because they can't get much peace, people always try to bother them.

So what is your real dream? Is it really to become popular? Be careful what you wish for.

You people tell me to find people who treat me good. But how many people do I run behind for to find that good person???

That is life. Sometimes you just have to deal with tons and tons of really mean people, and even more people who ignore you, just to find one or two good people.

How much more do I wait.?

Depends on how long you remain constantly negative.
Happiness is not something you find in the world, it is something you learn.

Nobody smiles back when I smile...Its really painful.....

So, if what your uncle said is true, then how can you smile if you are incapable of showing emotions?
These sort of contradictions make me wonder if there are things you're not telling us. I don't want to blame or accuse you, but every time I read your posts I just feel like there is something you're hiding. Why is that?

The fact is if you can smile then you can show emotions: Meaning that you have proven everyone else wrong.

I want to be normal like others....I want to be like you people, normal.....Not like me, wierd and boring and dumb.....

Who says any of us here are "normal"? This forum is for lonely people.
It is rather normal to feel lonely, so maybe everyone here, including you, really are normal. Though, personally, I would argue that I am very 'not normal', myself. I have never fit into what would be considered 'normal'.
You're not boring and dumb. And what is wrong with being weird? I am weird and I love it.

I want someone to come and listen to me too.....But nobody comes.....

I guess all these people talking to you on this forum are 'nobody' then?
You are being way too negative. You need to realize that your own negativity, not reality, is what is truly holding you back and making you lonely.
Don't keep blaming yourself, don't keep putting yourself down. Don't keep listening to others who tell you that you can't find solutions to a problem. There are always solutions.

So don't be negative. Cheer up. Things will get better.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Maybe in the future don't approach a girl when she is with her friends. Catch her when she is by herself.

If a girl is emotionally stable she won't depend on her friends either way.

An emotionally unstable girl, like the one M talked to, could react even worse if spoken to alone. Her insecurity issues might erupt and cause her to be even more cruel and cause a scene to perpetuate the illusion that she is strong through cruelty.
It's possible there is a 'normal girl' who falls victim to the peer pressure of her friends and may react better alone, but is that really someone who anyone wants to be with? And what if you start dating and her friends disapprove behind your back? Then what?

No, a girl is a girl. It should not matter where she is.

Less embarrassment for him and her. Maybe she was showing off ?
It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

Regardless of if the friends were pieces of caca, that doesn't mean that someone shouldn't be able to approach her while anyone else is around. Sometimes people do act differently in front of friends or family, so I'm not say it's a complete rule out. Is it unwise? I wouldn't say so. A decent person is a decent person no matter who they're surrounded by. She could have just as easily been nice to him and nice about the situation. She chose not to be. That's to be blamed on no one but her.

I think asking someone out is a private matter between the two people involved. That's all and I stand by that. Nobody is going to change my mind on that.

Hey Hey hey people...I read all your opinions, but I feel that the problem is in me.....Because when I was at school, people behaved with me the same way.

And now I am in college where all people are new. And a new place..... AND they are behaving the same way....
So obviously I am wrong somewhere. But nobody says whats wrong with me...All they say (and those people at school said) That you do no not appear smart. You look like a dumb person, who can just look around, abd understand nothing..

Something like that.....

You'll find people who won't treat you like that. It may take a while, and you may not even know it, but there's plenty more people who would treat you with respect and care. Until then, learning to weed out the people who would throw you under the bus while their friends are driving it can help a great deal.

---

It's not wise to approach any woman in front of her friends.

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

So, should they go somewhere no one will see them on the date too, since it's so private?

Heh...well obviously not. What TripleB is getting at is that asking someone out can be nerve-wracking, and the last thing you need is a freakin' audience standing by. And that arranging a date is private and nobody else's business.

Yes exactly !
Glad somebody gets what I am talking about !

---

But you haven't explained why.
I'm merely pointing out that if she is an emotionally healthy person she won't care what her friends think at that moment, and if her friends are supportive of her then it could only benefit a situation.
Sure, most people, especially those still in school, are not emotionally healthy, but is there a reason for trying to avoid a problem that you will inevitably face in the future? Might as well just face it head on, in my opinion.

The embarrassment. You don't want people to over hear personal stuff such as somebody asking you out. It's private and should be between the two people involved.

So, should they go somewhere no one will see them on the date too, since it's so private?

Heh...well obviously not. What TripleB is getting at is that asking someone out can be nerve-wracking, and the last thing you need is a freakin' audience standing by. And that arranging a date is private and nobody else's business.

It's called sarcasm.
My point is that if asking someone out is too "private" to be done in front of people, maybe you shouldn't be taking her out at all, even if she were to say yes. If you're scared of her friends and their opinions, well, whatever might happen with the girl is pretty much messed from the start.
Lots of things are no one else's business, but they'll sometimes make it so and also add to the story to have it benefit them. Such is life, if you choose to let it bother you, then you're in for a bumpy ride.

I have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[h3donist]

Well maybe all the advice in the World that we dish out isn't helping you. So maybe you should listen to Rocky. He says in a few minutes what countless messages of encouragement and support here can't provide.

Watch this. Then watch it again and again until you understand.

[video=youtube]

 

[Katerina]

So obviously problem was not in her, it is in me....She is not wrong.....

I just wanted to add that even if you did have some problems it doesn't change or excuse the fact that she behaved in a really rude way towards you.