The Theory of Happiness

[omarlittle]

So lately, in an effort to better my life, I've been looking more into the idea of happiness and how it can be different for different people.

It started when I watched the fantastic documentary aptly titled "Happy" where it shows how we can often take things for granted. There are people in this world living with hardly any money, yet they consider themselves to be completely happy. Highly recommended film.

I'm currently reading a book called "Happier" where the author describes happiness and gives ways in which we can obtain it. I've tried to incorporate some of the stuff in my life and I feel like it can work.

In high school, I thought I would be happy when I got into college. Well that happened, yet I still wasnt fully happy. Then, I felt I would be happy once I got a good paying job. I got one but I still feel like theres something missing in my life. Now I feel that I would be happier if I made new friends and got myself a girlfriend...but now I'm not sure if thats the case. I just feel like I'm constantly looking towards the future trying to find something that would make me happy. And as a result, I feel like I'm wasting my life.

So my question is, what would make you happy? I'm sure most of us on this forum would be happier being "less lonely" but is that really the case? Or is there more to it?

 

[Misanthrope23]

from what i've experienced i have become disillusioned with life and have come to the conclusion that happiness is artfical. there is no such thing as true happiness.

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no matter how hard you try you will also be a failure becuase there is always someone that's better off than you.

 

[BrokenInside]

Oh its human nature. Nothing truly/completely/permanantly satisfies us. Have you heard of "four levels of happiness"? I get pleasure from all four levels.

 

[SA_hopeful]

There's an old clice that says happiness is a state of mind. In my case, its very true. External things can lift you up or bring you down for a while, but you'll always get back to a specific state of mind. Yesterday I was happy, today not. What was different? I was still alone all the time.

The days that I am happy are the days I am able to counter my own sad thoughts. For a while yesterday, I thought that nobody loves me. Those thoughts are tough and can really bring you down. It takes work to get rid of them. I actually had to out loud say Thats Not True. Only then was I able to identify people that care for me. Its easier to think they don't. After that, I was happy for the day.

You're right. Happiness is artificial. You make it or break it everyday. Today I don't know what is stopping me from being happy. When I find out, hopefully I'll be able to talk myself out of it.

 

[bodafuko]

I don't know if I can put my idea of happiness into words. But I will say that your endeavor to reflect upon this subject is a good thing to do. One individual that has helped me with his teachings, among a few, is Wayne Dyer. A couple of his books and videos have really broadened my sense of reality and allowed me to step away from immature and destructive behaviors. Anytime you can do 'that' you are bound to be at least a little happier.

 

[ladyforsaken]

from what i've experienced i have become disillusioned with life and have come to the conclusion that happiness is artfical. there is no such thing as true happiness.

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no matter how hard you try you will also be a failure becuase there is always someone that's better off than you.

---

Wrong.

You're feeling like a failure because you give up too easily. Of course there's always someone better. And you're better than some others. That's life, so what? You do your best, you give your best and if you fail, you try again. You fail, you try again, different ways, different methods, different planning until you get somewhere. It doesn't have to succeed - as long as it gets somewhere.

True happiness differs from one person to another. What's happiness for me may not be the same for you. I'm sure there are things in life that makes you happy - seriously. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your life around.

 

[Lilianna]

from what i've experienced i have become disillusioned with life and have come to the conclusion that happiness is artfical. there is no such thing as true happiness.

---

no matter how hard you try you will also be a failure becuase there is always someone that's better off than you.

---

Wrong.

You're feeling like a failure because you give up too easily. Of course there's always someone better. And you're better than some others. That's life, so what? You do your best, you give your best and if you fail, you try again. You fail, you try again, different ways, different methods, different planning until you get somewhere. It doesn't have to succeed - as long as it gets somewhere.

True happiness differs from one person to another. What's happiness for me may not be the same for you. I'm sure there are things in life that makes you happy - seriously. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your life around.

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What ladyforsaken said is true, and as long as you compare yourself to others Misanthrope23, you are right you will never be happy, so stop.

 

[ucxb]

So my question is, what would make you happy? I'm sure most of us on this forum would be happier being "less lonely" but is that really the case? Or is there more to it?

I think there is more to being happy. It's a state of mind so I could answer this question differently tomorrow.

As of now, I think I would be more content with my situation if I could satisfy my need to help others and have the company of another to do outdoor activities with.

 

[Regumika]

Like what is mentioned already. Everyone has different things that make them happy. But I believe the universal wall to attaining happiness is "comparing yourself to others" as Lilianna said. There will ALWAYS be someone that has it better than you (from your perspective). Comparing will only bring you negative feelings. Be happy with what your goals are, be happy in the process of reaching your goal, be happy when you reach your goal, and be happy to set another goal.

My goal for running the 100m is 12s. My next goal is 11.75s. Should I be depressed because my friend can do it in 11.00s? No, forget about his time. Just focus on myself.

If you are looking for a life partner, who cares if your neighbor found theirs in 8 months. Who cares what everyone else can do.

 

[blackdot]

what would make me happy? someone to date
what am I not allowed to have? someone to date
ha ha ha!

 

[ladyforsaken]

what would make me happy? someone to date
what am I not allowed to have? someone to date
ha ha ha!

Not allowed? Why not?