I could had been dianosed with Bi polor too when I first got clean and sober.
I was put on prozac for a while...but **** I felt nothing so
how in the hell was I going to grow emotionally if I felt nothing ?
So...I threw those **** pills away. I had narley withdraws too,
but I want me feelings today. I'm working very closely with my
sponsor and inspit of it all...I'm actaully pretty darn happy today.
i don't have those emotional roller coaster after a long term relationship break up
and a death of a love one...I got throught it
clean and sober. I'm stable and serene for the most part now.
My sponsor is a M.D.....he's not giving my ass pills..becuase he knows it'll kill me...lol
Instead he tells me jokes to help me laugh and tells me to work on myself....stay positive and all that good stuff.
Obviously,if he's my sponsor..he's a recoverying addict too...lmao
Not trying to thump the book on you Drake..but it say religion,
physchiatry wasn't sufficent for us.
My ex went to the doctor/therapy for almost a year...over $50,000 worth
after her relaped or during it...it didn't help worth a fresia becuase she was still using.
She's more wacked out than ever. She's on all kinds of medication
and pills...A pill for every freaken ill. I don't even know who
the heck she is anymore...wheather she's self medicated or
taking persciptions drugs. She's too been dianosed with bi polor.
Then again...I lived with her for over a decade. I've witness her
when she was well...not using any drugs or drinking working her
recovery program. She was happy and the nicest person you'll ever meet for the first 7 years of our relationship.
She advance in her career too...all the good healhty normal people do.
Well...she's a social worker...not some hype or a bum you see in a dark alley.
Now she just dysfunctional as heck from all the drugs that's she pumping into her system.
Dr. jeckle and Mrs Hyde...on persciption drugs. She gose into a deep depression without her pills,
but when she's on them..she's like a fucken robot or in a zone.
My dad recently got sober...after all these years...thank god. He seems so much happier
and it's peaceful and sereen around the house. Nope..he's not a whino either.
I didn't grow up in a trialer park..lol I live in a very nice part of town.
He once was a CEO, now he holds a very high position where he works at.
Most people have a wrong impression of who's an addict or are missed-informed.
Addicts comes from all walks of life..Even my minister is a recovering alki/addict
Life on life's term isn't too easy for most of us..if you're like
me...when the rough gets going...I tend to go into a tail spin.
It dosn't hit me overnite...it's progressive and the end result was not a freaken Jockpot.lol
I needed help...but I went into isolation...
Duh...isolation is worst thing that I could had done for a person
like me...I suffered darely. What do you think meetings are ?
It's group therapy. It's even in the basic text...lol
err...remember it also say...the theraputic value of one addict
helping another ? Is it not the same principle the some people
here on ALL are doing ...helping one another to get well ?
It dose say FIRST THINGS FIRST for reasons. Therapy might
help after we stop pumping mood changing and mind altering
substance in our system.
As you know...taking drugs of any form...numbs the hell out
of us...you know, how the hell are we're going to grow emotionally
if we can't feel our emotions ?
Err..drugs shock the hell out of our central nerve sytem..lol
Then we wonder why it feels wierd or feel bi polor after we get clean....
We stopped growning mentally and emotionally the day we started using...lol remember ?
well...how in the heck are we suppost to make good life's decisions if we're wacked out of our minds...DUH
I relapsed 4-5 times when I first went into recovery...I kept going back to those dran meetings.
It took me almost 2 years to get my first year clean and sober.
I manage to put 12 years clean time together..then I relasped...I tored me a new ass hole.
I felt lost again as always. I'm working on my 5th years again.
I've been struggling with my ex's disease for the past 5 years. Her addictions..kicked my freaken ass too.
I stopped attending my meetings...or support system and starting wanting to do it on my own again...will fresia !!!
As you know...when logged onto ALL...i was pretty fucken lost and miserible....freaken clean and sober.
My sponsor told me.."wtf are you fucken crazy???( lol I was)...people hang themselves isolating and not working thier program
even if they are abstance." Will...that's exactly what i thought about doing the day i logged onto ALL.
Poeple here care for me..it was a bridge i needed to get out of isolation....my baby steps.
Draging my ass back into those rooms and asking for help was hard for me to do,but
it was will worth it. I need that FACE 2 FACE contact with people. I'm much happier today.
It's only been less than 90 days since I started going back to those meetings...much, much improvements already.