This is a double standard.

[Alonewith2cats]

Why is it that women often tell other women "You don't need a man" and women say "I don't need a man" and we have cultural stuff to support this such as the Disney movie Frozen but you never hear a man tell another man "You don't need a woman" and you never hear a man say "I don't need a woman" and why are women shamed if they feel like they need a man or act like it or say it but men aren't if they do the same?

People should be entitled to their feelings, desires, wants and needs without judgment from others. I think people are just as entitled to need as they are not to need another human being.

 

[Peaches]

I agree!

It's that for many centuries and thousands of years women were told :you cannot even exist without a man,
so since the 1950ies, or maybe the 20ies in some countries, we are on a binge of independence, that on one side is completely understandable and also useful, but that has serious downfalls like women having to be workers, lovers, mothers, and whatnot, without any kind of support.
I think this obsession with the fear of looking needy is a modern thing, maybe it will change in 20 years or so.

Personally, I was told all the time from my family: you don't need a man, but I never said it to another woman, because it isn't true.
(unless it's: you don't need a man to feel validated etc)

 

[TheRealCallie]

I have heard men say they don't need a woman and I've heard other men tell men that they don't need a woman. Hell, I've told men that they don't need a woman. It gets said, you just don't hear about it as often as you hear women say it. I think it also has to do with ego. Most men aren't as emotionally open as women are, so they aren't going to be as inclined to actually say those things.

But, as Peaches said, it does stem from olden times and women lacking the "authority" to do what men do. Regardless of how far women have come in this world, men still make more than us. A lot of us still do most of the "woman" duties, such as cleaning and cooking and raising the kids. Yes, there are men out there that do it, but a good percentage of men still believe it's a woman's responsibility.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Uh no men say that too. And I've heard plenty of women tell other women they need a man. People only say that to try and cheer someone up who is going through a bad break up or having a hard time finding a mate.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I guess it's really up to the person. Those are just fairytales what we see in Disney movies - stolen fairytales, at that. But I know personally, I don't feel like I need a man. I never have, and I never will. I know it's because I grew up with such a strong female figure in my mom. It's nice I'm with someone, but I don't "need" him. And if it were up to bettering my life and staying behind with him, well, he's more than welcome to come along.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Okay, I'll say it then.

I need a woman. Lotsa women.

Line forms on the right.

(balance has been restored to the world)

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, I'll say it then.

I need a woman. Lotsa women.

Line forms on the right.

(balance has been restored to the world)

No women for you :club:

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Okay, I'll say it then.

I need a woman. Lotsa women.

Line forms on the right.

(balance has been restored to the world)

No women for you :club:

Say whaaaatttttt????? Whyyyyyy????? *trembling lower lip*

But, but, I'm so nice to them....

 

[Nicolelt]

I have been told I need a man. lol. Last school year when I was really down and bored all the time, one of the parents told me to not leave here and that I just need a man. I just laughed.

I do agree with the double standard thing, I just hate that whole I NEED a man or woman. I feel like it's a want, not a need, but that is just my opinion.

 

[Delta]

It just comes down to stereotypes and social norms in the end, the classic scenario being the woman who just has to get married, has to have the white wedding with all the fixin's and will have babies and raise them etc etc.

Men on the other hand, are more like independent lone wolves so you don't hear it often in the media etc that men don't need women. Also from a cliche perspective how many times have you seen a grown man rely on women to do basic care taker/motherly things for him like wash his clothes and cook for him etc because supposedly he doesn't know how to these things?

On a political type level it would also be considered sacrilege for a man to say he doesn't need women, this would offend the Feminists who would take it as the highest possible insult. I'm a little cheeky but the other day I saw a quote saying that women should be respected as women are life, it seems to me that women are one half of life which only happens when joined with the other half.

So there are plenty of double standards out there.

 

[Rosebolt]

Uh no men say that too. And I've heard plenty of women tell other women they need a man. People only say that to try and cheer someone up who is going through a bad break up or having a hard time finding a mate.

I was going to say something along these lines.

 

[SofiasMami]

Uh no men say that too. And I've heard plenty of women tell other women they need a man. People only say that to try and cheer someone up who is going through a bad break up or having a hard time finding a mate.

It's an interesting & thought provoking question but I agree with sci-fi here. Perhaps you don't hear men saying it in movies or on tv shows but you might be surprised to know what men in real life say when women aren't around (or when they think women aren't paying attention).

I'm more inclined to think the belief that a woman needs a man is much more pervasive around the globe rather than "a woman doesn't need man".

Full disclosure: When I got married at the tender age of 20 in the UK, my status on the government-issued marriage certificate was Spinster. My husband, who was 31, was Bachelor. That was a number of years ago but I wouldn't be surprised if that's how tbey still do it.

-Teresa

 

[Pike Creek]

If you watch some old westerns, Japanese Samurai movies and film noirs pre-1970, you'll see plenty of men who don't need women and are proud of it! Disney is made for little girls as far as I'm concerned, as was said, it's a fantasy...most things in the media are. The sad part is that a lot of the population takes it at face value and makes media-driven beliefs their own too.

There are so many double standards within the sexes, too many to count!

 

[ardour]

Men aren't expected to express emotion, admit a "need" or lack in their lives, and particularly not to other men. You're less likely to hear it since those conversations just don't occur as often.

 

[Solivagant]

Men aren't expected to express emotion, admit a "need" or lack in their lives, and particularly not to other men.

Except for sex; I hear men talk about "needing" that all the time, and rarely are they ashamed to express it. I've heard men say "I don't need women" plenty of times, but I've not heard more than one or two say "I don't need sex". And when I do hear a man tell another man that he needs a woman, he's usually talking about sex and not marriage or a relationship.

Just my experience.


I found this quote awhile back and thought it was funny, because people always comment on my unmarried status at weddings and it's been a bit of a sore spot for me, having been so lonely.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 'Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.'

 

[ardour]

Except for sex; I hear men talk about "needing" that all the time, and rarely are they ashamed to express it. I've heard men say "I don't need women" plenty of times, but I've not heard more than one or two say "I don't need sex". And when I do hear a man tell another man that he needs a woman, he's usually talking about sex and not marriage or a relationship.

I've never discussed that sort of thing with other men (or women), or been witness to that. But then most of the guys I've known seemed to be quite self-aware, not the type of person willing to "share" that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I found this quote awhile back and thought it was funny, because people always comment on my unmarried status at weddings and it's been a bit of a sore spot for me, having been so lonely.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 'Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.'

I read that somewhere, too, and I love the concept. Thing is though, down here, it's young people as well. I'm talkin' people in their early 20's (and even an 8 year old) asking me when I'm finally going to marry my guy or even when I'm going to have children. I've no answer for them without being totally rude, so I just smile and let it fade.

 

[Solivagant]

I read that somewhere, too, and I love the concept. Thing is though, down here, it's young people as well. I'm talkin' people in their early 20's (and even an 8 year old) asking me when I'm finally going to marry my guy or even when I'm going to have children. I've no answer for them without being totally rude, so I just smile and let it fade.

Yeah, same here, unfortunately.

 

[SofiasMami]

I found this quote awhile back and thought it was funny, because people always comment on my unmarried status at weddings and it's been a bit of a sore spot for me, having been so lonely.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 'Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.'

I read that somewhere, too, and I love the concept. Thing is though, down here, it's young people as well. I'm talkin' people in their early 20's (and even an 8 year old) asking me when I'm finally going to marry my guy or even when I'm going to have children. I've no answer for them without being totally rude, so I just smile and let it fade.

I was going to say that if you're still unmarried when you're older, those questions may stop but no - people still ask me if I have a boyfriend, including my daughter's dad, for pete's sake!
Only difference now is that type of question rolls off me like water off a duck's back. I just don't care what people think of my singlehood.
I guess that's one benefit of getting older.

-Teresa

 

[Delta]

Men aren't expected to express emotion, admit a "need" or lack in their lives, and particularly not to other men.

Except for sex; I hear men talk about "needing" that all the time, and rarely are they ashamed to express it. I've heard men say "I don't need women" plenty of times, but I've not heard more than one or two say "I don't need sex". And when I do hear a man tell another man that he needs a woman, he's usually talking about sex and not marriage or a relationship.

Just my experience.


I found this quote awhile back and thought it was funny, because people always comment on my unmarried status at weddings and it's been a bit of a sore spot for me, having been so lonely.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 'Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.'

That comes back to peer pressure and society's view on men, there have been studies that suggest that most men would prefer to cuddle but of course a group of men aren't going to say that to each other as it isn't very masculine or entertaining!