To be a good friend, one must....

[EveWasFramed]

It seems that there are so many people who have come here because they don't have any friends, for whatever reason (couldn't make/keep them, didn't know anyone, shy, etc.). I suppose that makes plenty of sense, given the nature of the forum.

I decided to create this thread, for the purpose of finding out what our members think makes a good friend.
Now....no negativity here, only list positive attributes. Don't list what a person shouldn't do, but rather what they should. In other words, what do YOU look for in a friend?

I'm sure there is likely another thread of this kind, floating around somewhere on the forum, but I couldn't find it.

I'll begin by listing one attribute that I find highly appealing...

Understanding. Even is someone doesn't agree with my opinion, they are still open-minded enough to at least take a look at where I'm coming from.

 

[edgecrusher]

i agree eve. understanding is very important. i try to always be understanding of peoples opinions and beliefs and i would like the same in return. a little understanding can actually go a LONG way.

 

[Sci-Fi]

TRUST

 

[Stephanie]

Always be respectful of the other person's feelings.

 

[jjam]

selflessness (limited)

I say limited because I don't think people should allow themselves to be taken advantage of or mistreated for the sake of trying to be someone's good friend. Friendship is a two-way street after all.

 

[Minus]

They should, at least on occasion, have time for you.

 

[Stephanie]

Always keep their confidences, even if the friendship eventually goes sour. A mark of a true friend is measured on how well you keep secrets after the friendship has dissolved (if it ever does).

 

[Bluebird]

Be interested in what's going on in the other person's life - listen to what they have to say.

 

[Badjedidude]

They should, at least on occasion, have time for you.

This is my biggest downfall as a friend. Because of my personality, I often get too lost in what I'm doing and planning and experiencing on my own that I forget to make that conscious effort to reach out to my friends. I still think they're friends and I still love them as friends... but because of how I operate as a human, I don't feel the need to always spend that extra time or effort on others. I personally don't require a lot of attention or interaction from friends in order to remain friends, so sometimes I don't quite get why that attention is needed by others.

...so I have to force myself to remember that sometimes others need that time and reassurance, even if I don't completely understand why.

Wow, I sure made myself sound sociopathic there. Heh I'm sure most of you reading this will get my drift, however.

 

[A new life]

Listen with your full attention and ignore your damned cell phone for once in your life.

Share your goodies (pretzels, M&Ms or whatever)

Reciprocate.

Be playful now and then (I don't care how old you are)

Be a silent friend there for them should they ever need to grieve.

Give small but sincere complements when it's appropriate.

Think carefully before you vent about some disagreement with them.

Be happy to see them.

Be kind when your first reaction is to be "right"

 

[LGH1288]

Follow these "Golden Rules":
1.) VERACITY (honesty)
2.) INTEGRITY (morality)
3.) FIDELITY (loyalty)