Today is her birthday.....

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
One cannot "will" someone to like them.

You tried, she is not interested, yet you go overboard into obsession mode.
COMPLETE Turn off.
When I was your age, I met a girl. She seemed very nice, so we agreed to have a date. By the end of the date I felt a bit uncomfy because I could sense this girl was an obsessive type. sure enough, she began calling me every day. If I didn't want to talk, she'd get upset. and most of the time, it wasn't because I had other things to do - I just did not want to talk to her.
I kindly told her I wasn't interested, and she took it quite hard.

Don't you see - being obsessed with someone does not work. It's a good thing this girl hasn't shown an interest in you, I could only see things getting worse. Putting all of your emotional chips one person as "your dream girl", especially when you have not even gone out on a date is the biggest red flag imaginable. Or black flag.

You need to work on yourself first. Get some counseling, to find out why you act this way. Sorry if I sound harsh, but you really need to listen to what others are posting.
 
Despicable Me said:
Often when we're lonely we become desperate and do things outside of the norm, or don't even realize what the normal situation is because we have been so secluded from it. So don't blame yourself, you didn't know.

Don't let this destroy your confidence. Let it be a lesson you can learn to build more confidence and to become a better person. You can do it. :)

I think it's a good point, it sums up what the OP is going through.

Some minor quibbles though: about calling her and then hanging up after she says hello. This is creepy/stalking if you do it continually, but I wouldn't say once or twice. I think this is actually quite common for any shy person when they're inexperienced with dating/romance and the like.

I'd say criticism on his other actions (calling at midnight) or after she has already shown disinterest, that's spot on.

But a lonely/shy person idealizing things, calling and then hanging up? It happens sometimes. Give the guy a break on this, scold him for the rest, is what I'd say :p
 
Man, no offense but if someone called me (and I refused to give them my number to them) to wish me happy birthday and we're not even friends? I'd be creeped out. No matter how handsome or popular he is.
 
h3donist said:
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?

Dude, what the fresia?

You haven't learned anything from the constant advice people have given. Stop lurching from one unobtainable classroom girl to the next, concentrate on expanding your own horizons a bit and you will create your own opportunities to find love/sex/companionship/all of the above, whatever it is you are looking for. You must break this cycle of basing your entire self worth on meeting a girl from your class, going in all guns blazing then posting your woes on here when you recieve the inevitable rejection. Like I've said before, happy people generate their own warmth, which makes them more attractive to other people. The frantic desperation of "must get a girlfriend at any cost" thing is not the route to the happiness you seek. If that means waiting for the right girl then so be it. But you might as well be happy in the meantime....

I am trying my best, but the past....It is not letting me do it.....I will PM you whats actually happening with me.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top