Trouble making friends - Say hello :D

[ariann]

Hi All

Just joined - having a really crap time realising as I'm just out of a relationship that I don't have a single friend - Its my own fault ,I guess I haven't actively looked or accepted friendship because I was happy just to be with my partner ...

I know there are many people on here who have similar problems making friends , so I thought id say hello and see who pops up

Look forward to chatting

Ariann
xx

 

[Jeff1983]

Hi ariann,

i exactly know what you are writting about. When my last relationship broke I suddenly was alone and I realised not having friends and I felt very depressed for many months.

Ok, you had friends (I did not have any before) but it is a very common problem when beeing in a relationship and do not have time for friends anymore. It's very hard to give your friends the same attention as you to your partner and honestly I can not give you any solution for this, unfortunately. I know some peoples who lost their friends due to relationships as they did not pay attention to their friends anymore as the partner was more important.

Did you have friends before your relationship?

 

[Jeff1983]

ok, sorry I thought you had lots of friends before you lost now. Do try to find new social contacts or are you kind of out of power / too disappointed to find some new social contacts?

 

[Luna]

Hi there Ariann - beautiful name btw. ^-^

What are your interests and hobbies? If you don't have many, what would you like to learn?
It can be challenging to form friendships, and it does not happen overnight.

But have you tried meeting people yet?
www.meetup.com

The best thing to do IMO is to participate in what interests you.
I love art so I've been taking art classes.
Of course, I don't expect friendship, but it's an opportunity to meet new people either way, and you have a good time doing it.

What do you like?

 

[Badjedidude]

That's exactly what brought me to this site.

Welcome, Ariann.

Feel free to PM me or come into chat anytime, alright? ^_^

 

[bugonwall]

Freinds are over rated. My thoughts are you should go to your local bar and have a drink. What town you in?

 

[Badjedidude]

Freinds are over rated. My thoughts are you should go to your local bar and have a drink. What town you in?

I completely disagree.

And seeing as how Ariann mentioned a loneliness due to lack of friends, that's probably what she's after; not drinking buddies.

 

[bugonwall]

Friends come and go just as easily as drinks. WShy not drink it up?

---

Time will heal . A broken heart isnt always bad it will only make you stronger!

 

[Badjedidude]

Friends come and go just as easily as drinks. WShy not drink it up?

Is that your philosophy of life? I would find that sort of existence to be utterly blank and pointless.

Obviously you've had bad experiences with friends, bugonwall...but I hope you eventually learn that not all friends are worthless.

I think that Ariann is making a good start in finding friends by visiting this site.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

This is something that is plauging me. Just like you I am out of a relationship. I want to have friends, male and female. However, I have no idea where to start. I just don't know how to do it. I mean I guess when it comes down to it I want friends for the references to females . However, I just don't know what to do. If I cannot go out and make new friends how can I meet someone special.

So any advice on how you make friends? I am planning on going out, once my car is fixed, and playing some DDR and Pump it Up. I just run into the problem of not knowing what to say...

 

[ariann]

Hi there Ariann - beautiful name btw. ^-^

What are your interests and hobbies? If you don't have many, what would you like to learn?
It can be challenging to form friendships, and it does not happen overnight.

But have you tried meeting people yet?
www.meetup.com

The best thing to do IMO is to participate in what interests you.
I love art so I've been taking art classes.
Of course, I don't expect friendship, but it's an opportunity to meet new people either way, and you have a good time doing it.

What do you like?

I love to draw and paint too - Ive been having a look at local classes for all sorts - just need to pluck up the courage to make the first move, the idea of walking into an established group of people terrifies me :-S
My confidence is at an all time low right now (guess thats why im on the internet ,less scarey)

---

This is something that is plauging me. Just like you I am out of a relationship. I want to have friends, male and female. However, I have no idea where to start. I just don't know how to do it. I mean I guess when it comes down to it I want friends for the references to females . However, I just don't know what to do. If I cannot go out and make new friends how can I meet someone special.

So any advice on how you make friends? I am planning on going out, once my car is fixed, and playing some DDR and Pump it Up. I just run into the problem of not knowing what to say...

This is it , How do you just start a conversation with someone without 1.coming across like a stalker/freak 2.looking like your coming on to them 3.Continuing the conversation on to a point where you ask to meet up/exchange numbers ....
I thought about just going out to a pub but I mean a single girl on her own going out to sit in a pub , I might as well just go out with a giant target on my back and a sign on my front saying DESPERATE! plus I'm not a big drinker and I'm more likely just going to meet people who drink/go out alot :-S

What about through work Afrozensoul?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@ariann: Yeah classes kind of scare me too. Who will I meet, will I meet anyone my age? Same thing with groups. I have been trying to build up the courage to go to an anime group I am not to scared of the idea. I am more scared of being stuck in a room with 10 30-50 year old adults. Which is what my last experience was. Which kind of killed all the fun in the group.

I hate a lot of social stigmas that stick around. It is like if You go out somewhere alone you are a leper. Everyone thinks, look at that miserably desperate person or what kind of pathetic person has no friends. They never think hey maybe that person is new in town.

What do you mean go through work? I have gone out on company drinking trips. However, we all just kept to ourselves in the company. Plus all the guys who would be willing to go out with me are not exactly social butterflies either or have plenty of established relationships.

I agree how do you meet new people without coming off as a weirdo is a challenge it is one reason why I don't talk to people at the community hot tub. I just have no idea what to say... especially when it comes to hot mostly naked females.

 

[ariann]

Most men struggle to keep the conversation flowing in a half naked women scenario

& the exact same things run through my mind when I think of joining a group/hobby - It would be great to have a friend to drag along lol

I find it difficult to just find people online (in my area) mostly everything seems to be geared towards relationships/dating/random play im really not after that at the moment ,wayyyyyy to soon ....
Do you use any sites to meet/chat to peoples near you?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah I know a lot of men do. However, that scenario only makes things worse for me.

I wish I had a social outgoing friend. Too bad I am stuck with my roommate who makes me drag him everywhere. Not to mention he is an even bigger wuss than I... I kid you not he treats me like I am is girlfriend or something.

I cannot say that I am not kind of geared towards relationships... granted I think about what I would want right now and that does nit seem like a relationship. As for meeting people online... cannot say I reply have a place to go. Normally I just stumble upon people on forums. I miss the old days when people made friends by saying "want to be my friend? " and poof you were friends. Ah to be young again. Now you have to go out and impress people. God making friends is practically dating.

So How about it want to be my friend?

 

[kan198]

I feel you... I am going through the exact same thing. I thought all i needed in life was my boyfriend and we always had so much fun together that I blew everyone else off. But Im learning the hard way that you cant put all your eggs in one basket. They just leave and youre left so alone :\

The irony of it all is that when you don't have a single friend, you cant go out and make any because you cant just go out to a bar or social event alone! But when you go with a bunch of friends, you end up making more. Its like a domino effect.

 

[eolithicman]

Hi Ariann, i can sympathize, i to have just come out of a relationship,
having been together for many years we never felt the need for friends as long as we had each other,
unfortunately my life has completely been turned upside down over the last few months, its made me realize how depressing things can get when lonely and without friends, the trouble is how to go about meeting people,
go to an evening class (scary to much like school)
go to the pub on your own and talk to people, (weirdo at the end of the bar)
go to the cinema on your own and chat to people (sad weirdo on his own)
go to the local park for a walk and strike up a conversation with someone (pedo in the park)
i guess I'll just stay in, that way i won't embarrass my self.....lol

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@eolithicman: It sucks how people view people who are alone. I wish I had actually moved. Then I could be the new guy in town, those are not so weird when they are by themselves.

 

[coricopat]

Hello! I also made the mistake of putting all my eggs in one basket. Welcome!

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I wish that I had had the 'friendship power' to make a bunch of friends in high-school, and then have them forever, even if it was mostly Facebook and seeing them only occasionally.

As it is now, I don't have anyone around I would call a 'friend', and a girlfriend that I can't care about, so I'm leaving...

Then, I'll really have no one.

So really, we just joined...

The No Friends In The World Club!

I'm sure a goodly portion of the forum will join

 

[Xaldin]

Feel free to PM me.