Walking to the executioner

[there is no hope]

So tomorrow I get to meet someone who's just itching to lock me up. No way to avoid his judgement. I can only hope that this nightmare won't get any worse.

This ******* world. I just want out. No more pointless and stupid suffering. This life shouldn't be happening, but I can't fight them. Never could fight them. Now I fear it's too late.

 

[HoodedMonk]

So this is what's been bothering you this long while. It must be terrifying. I would be terrified if I was in your shoes.

 

[there is no hope]

Well looks like his judgement is "fresia it". So I get to go on a little while longer, I guess.
The nightmare isn't just about me being locked up / thrown in a worse situation, and doesn't just affect me. I might not have a home in the near future though, and I'm guilty of bringing this on and hurting everyone again. All because I'm a ******* failure of a human being and too stupid to deal with people.

 

[HoodedMonk]

Well looks like his judgement is "fresia it". So I get to go on a little while longer, I guess.
The nightmare isn't just about me being locked up / thrown in a worse situation, and doesn't just affect me. I might not have a home in the near future though, and I'm guilty of bringing this on and hurting everyone again. All because I'm a ******* failure of a human being and too stupid to deal with people.

All you can do is show up, and do what the justice system or social services want you to do.

(hug)

 

[SofiasMami]

Sorry to hear you're in a bad situation. The beauty of the internet and websites like this is that we can often get some comfort with little to no judgment because often there are other people in or have been in similar situations. I hope you get the help you need. Keep us posted on how you're doing, ok?

-Teresa

 

[constant stranger]

Whatever you do, no hope, don't make things worse.

Learn from your fuckups, don't do them again, make some contingency plans for what can go wrong next and do what you have to do to pay the dues your mistakes are going to cost you.

 

[there is no hope]

I should take that advice...

The fuckup was trusting my sister with anything.

At this point, I should be "fine"...

I keep trying to find a way out but at this point the only solution is to do what's in front of me and hope for the best. I need to keep it together and somehow live with what I have done all these years.

 

[dd11]

Take your lumps and keep moving forward. That is all any of us can do.

 

[there is no hope]

Well, there was more honeysuckle in this storm too. Can't really talk about it but it doesn't involve me.

Don't trust the SS for nothing. It's a nightmare.

 

[SofiasMami]

What is the SS?

-Teresa

 

[HoodedMonk]

What is the SS?

-Teresa

Social Security?

 

[there is no hope]

social services

 

[SofiasMami]

Well, darn, I just spent the day thinking about what SS stood for. Stop sign? Sweet sunrise? Sensual sacraments?
Sorry, totally off topic

-Teresa

 

[there is no hope]

And the dread keeps coming and coming.
I see more people being pulled from their homes. Live in a poor neighborhood.
The absolute terror-horror of what is happening seems to be lost. One by one, the rats are being trapped. Those who say anything are just laughed at. Laughed at.

I've lost everything now. Can't sleep, barely eat. They don't care. They laughed. They always laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Well, it's out in the open now. I'm sure there will be more nightmares to come. Nothing good comes out of people.

 

[there is no hope]

And soon the razor will fall...

 

[SofiasMami]

I don't get it, what's happening?

-Teresa

 

[there is no hope]

investigation.

 

[Sometimes]

I don't get it either. What is being investigated?

 

[there is no hope]

I don't get it either. What is being investigated?

My life.

 

[there is no hope]

Forget it.