LonelySutton
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 10, 2014
- Messages
- 721
- Reaction score
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So since about 2014 I have been withdrawing from *friends* and associates. To me, it seems clear, the people who I have withdrawn from were not, friends in the way I expected. Several long term friends, I felt, betrayed me at my job. One went behind my back and got a job that I was hoping to get and when I found out that she did that and kept it from me she told me she was asked to keep it quiet by the person who selected her. The other person in that group I dropped because she supported this mutual friend and said the friend was in a hard position but I find this excuse to strain credulity so I stopped dealing with someone who was willing to be my friend if someone better wasn't involved.
Later I had been involved in my condo association but I found once I started disagreeing with them they were not my friends and so, since they had no quams about asking me to do all the work, I got out of that to avoid the work.
Recently I stopped talking to someone who probably is going to die of cancer. After giving up two personal leave days (we can give our leave to others in the work group) though she doesn't work with me... she came back to work form Chemo and was downright rude. I guess I understand she is scared but I started questioning if I was her friend. I did not visit her in the hospital and didn't think I was THAT good of a friend and she had to cite to this other friend visiting her and bringing her lasagna... during the entire conversation we had...I took that as a hint. Anyway, dropped.
Now I am considering dropping one of my long term message boards. These people have been my friends for years, YEARS. But I am tired of hearing from them and they probably are tired of hearing from me. Almost everything they say annoys me and far too often they rush to respond to someone who comes into the group for the express purpose of dumping their worries and then leaves but don't respond to my posts. I just am not getting anything out of it anymore.
And, to be frank, I am wondering if it isn't time to completely cut off my phone and most of my internet things. It is just that I feel like I was happier and more centered when I had a flip phone and no apps to call to me all day. I was happier when I only caught the weather once per day. Didn't have access to weather / news hysterics all day long. I remember I got the phone in the first place to thwart my abusive boss that used to send me e-mails late in the afternoon so I couldn't leave... (or if I did I would get caught) and I figured out if I had the phone i could respond from the phone and he would be none the wiser. Now I have a boss that does NOT care if I am in.
But then I think, isn't like the first sign of depression withdrawing? Can't do even a single google search without finding this as the first thing that comes up. Am I depressed and I don't know it? How do you know?
But then I think, but I won't be withdrawing completely. I still have to go to work and interact with people all day long. It isn't like I will be up in my bedroom listening to sad music.
I just don't want to be around people that don't appreciate me anymore period. That is kind of how I feel this is going.
Later I had been involved in my condo association but I found once I started disagreeing with them they were not my friends and so, since they had no quams about asking me to do all the work, I got out of that to avoid the work.
Recently I stopped talking to someone who probably is going to die of cancer. After giving up two personal leave days (we can give our leave to others in the work group) though she doesn't work with me... she came back to work form Chemo and was downright rude. I guess I understand she is scared but I started questioning if I was her friend. I did not visit her in the hospital and didn't think I was THAT good of a friend and she had to cite to this other friend visiting her and bringing her lasagna... during the entire conversation we had...I took that as a hint. Anyway, dropped.
Now I am considering dropping one of my long term message boards. These people have been my friends for years, YEARS. But I am tired of hearing from them and they probably are tired of hearing from me. Almost everything they say annoys me and far too often they rush to respond to someone who comes into the group for the express purpose of dumping their worries and then leaves but don't respond to my posts. I just am not getting anything out of it anymore.
And, to be frank, I am wondering if it isn't time to completely cut off my phone and most of my internet things. It is just that I feel like I was happier and more centered when I had a flip phone and no apps to call to me all day. I was happier when I only caught the weather once per day. Didn't have access to weather / news hysterics all day long. I remember I got the phone in the first place to thwart my abusive boss that used to send me e-mails late in the afternoon so I couldn't leave... (or if I did I would get caught) and I figured out if I had the phone i could respond from the phone and he would be none the wiser. Now I have a boss that does NOT care if I am in.
But then I think, isn't like the first sign of depression withdrawing? Can't do even a single google search without finding this as the first thing that comes up. Am I depressed and I don't know it? How do you know?
But then I think, but I won't be withdrawing completely. I still have to go to work and interact with people all day long. It isn't like I will be up in my bedroom listening to sad music.
I just don't want to be around people that don't appreciate me anymore period. That is kind of how I feel this is going.