Why are women so difficult to understand?!

[jjam]

I can't speak for all guys, but I don't like "the chase". I don't take a "chase" to mean she is going to be any more classy or faithful or willing to work at an everlasting relationship with me. I like the idea of simmering with a woman as friends to become better friends and then more. Or simmering with a woman as acquaintances to become friends then better friends then more. And while all of this is going on, we both drop hints here and there that we'd LIKE for more to happen, but that this is just an important step that must be taken care of.

That might sound a little ridiculous here in 2011. I don't know. I think guys who like the chase probably don't give a **** about actually being in a relationship with the woman they're chasing. It's probably more about winning a contest with the prize being sex. Furthermore, the chase in itself says something about the woman that I don't particularly find respectable. She's playing a game too, and while I love games, I don't like that kind. She's probably interested in this guy chasing and catching her, but she is not communicating that. She is acting like she's not interested for the sake of the chase, and I'd have to wonder what kind of ramifications this kind of behavior could lead to in a relationship.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I don't think it's just ''woman'' or ''men'' who are difficult, it's it is attached to person itself what he/she is.

 

[allanh]

I am in the situation as you, except I am 31 yrs old. I am a doctor, but things don't get any easier for me. However, from my online research and friends' opinions , sometimes the more you try to suck up to the female kind, the lower the value they place on you and hence get bored of you. That's what people mean by "women liking jerks". I find that I attract girls whom I act normally and neutral towards and those whom I try to impress tend to get away.

 

[WishingWell]

Same question back to you...why are men so difficult to understand?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Differing genetic and social expectations for genders, leading to different upbringing, experiences, and on top of that, the normal drift of difference between individuals.

Rather than consider anyone else difficult to understand in particular, I think we should consider any and all successful communication to be something of a miracle!

 

[Imjustme]

it's not why are women so hard to understand its why are all people so hard to understand ......i dont think ive ever know a woman more complicated than a man.
i have friends where they are so hard on there husbands and then they dont understand when they have problems in the marriage
and vice versa
i think its easy sometimes to bundle all women into the same basket and judge them as if they were one but sometimes investing more time getting to know the individual ....we might suprise you
one thing that does annoy me though is high maintenance girls jeeeze!! now these chicks give us "normal" ladies a bad name!!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Peple dont even take the time to understand themselves...so its kind da fucken retarded trying to understand people that dont understand themsleves to begin with.....

Trying to figure women drove my ass crazy....

Just easier and more peaceful for me to just love them and not try to figure the honeysuckle out. Accept them as they are..now ever they from day to day or moment to moment.

I mean...as a person Im constanlty evolving and changing....So if you understood me how I was 3 months ago...Im not exactly the sameway today.
So its piontless trying to figure me out just the same....

---

You can never see me as I truely am...thats becuase you.re seeing me through your perpections or whatever the fresia filters youre seeing the world or life throuigh.....
I hope you understand this.....

---

In other words....you unstand me or other people only from your piont of view.....no matter much you put down the rose caloured glasses or try to be clear minded.
At most youll be able to relate to me in certain things...but not everything.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

You know, the weird thing I find is that girls are just like guys. To a point. That's the catch.

I can befriend the majority of women really easily actually, just like the majority of guys. Most I meet are good natured, like a laugh, talk about a range of topics, are interested in what I have to say and vice versa.

The thing is, having an actual relationship is kind of like a wall at the end of the friend chat.

I was really naive in my earlier years and I realise now that several "friendly" girls probably wanted to go out with me or get to know me better, but recently, that's changed. Now there's a clear divider between friends and "more".

I find girls = guys until you start getting towards more intense territory, and that's when things get awkward. I think everyone wants to be happy, but there are so many variables that things get complicated.

Who knows? I'm totally confused by my crush at the moment. I can't work out why she seems to be really interested in me, but at the same time seemingly ignores my gentle attempts to get to know her. It's a paradox. I can only presume girls often have as many thoughts rattling around as I do and thus are a bag of conflictions too.

We're all human, we all have our flaws and we all have busy lives. That makes things hard to "plan".

 

[lolagemma]

I know I'm not amazing with relationship advice because I somehow manage to scare men off like there is no tomorrow, however, I have a quote from one of my favourite films, and it helped me quite alot when I was down about this kinda thing.


"Trust your heart if the sea's catch fire, and live by love though the stars walk backwards"

basically, take a chance and trust your heart.
trust yourself, and gain the confidence in yourself. love yourself before you can even try to love anyone else, men and women are horendously complicated, I confuse myself at times haha, don't try and understand them, be yourself, and if she or he doesn't like it, then to put it politely, they can do one. at the end of the day, society's idea of love, beauty and just the way people are made to think in general is wrong, women who aren't brainwashed into all this, "I must be thinner, I must fit into this dress size, I must play hard to get, I must aim for someone who is absolutely gorgeous" (is just bullshit btw) are the ones who you should be looking for, the ones who do have their hearts in the right place. people get noticed because of their differences, and for being themselves, the sooner people realise it, the sooner the fake ones will become the lonely ones.

 

[bathen11]

That's funny, because I feel the same way about men!!!! I think that we put too much thought into it, if we just let go of our fear and be who we're thing may be different, so just enjoy the moment and don't over think it, that's something that I'm working on...

 

[Evil_Genius]

I don't ascribe to this notion.... I mean it's not like we could actually.... I don't know, Talk to them?

Communication is key. Difference is bridged by understanding.

 

[cicerolion]

Nothing in this these stories would indicate that these women ever had any romantic/sexual interest in you. If the first girl is moving into a new area, she might just want someone familiar to connect with. There shouldn't be any expectation that just because you know each other, and are single, that she would gravitate towards being in a relationship with you. The second girl is being a bit inconsiderate about your friendship, but she isn't leading you on. If this bothers you so much, honeysuckle or get off the pot. Ask them out instead of waiting. Women aren't complicated. Its just that, unlike men, they don't eventually come to see every guy the are close to as a potential partner.

 

[Stillwaters]

Others have pretty much said my feelings on the matter but here's my 2 cents anyway. Women are not difficult to understand, don't put them up on pedestals or they will have a long way to fall. I'm rapidly approaching my 50's now and HONESTY is always the key to any lasting relationship.

 

[Edward W]

Here's my 2 cents as well:

Q - Why are women so difficult to understand?
A - Because men are dumb?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Here's my 2 cents as well:

Q - Why are women so difficult to understand?
A - Because men are dumb?

LOL

 

[9006]

What I wanna know is why everyone's responding to a dead thread, half the original people don't have accounts anymore.

 

[SophiaGrace]

What I wanna know is why everyone's responding to a dead thread, half the original people don't have accounts anymore.

Because we can!

 

[perfanoff]

Differing genetic and social expectations for genders, leading to different upbringing, experiences, and on top of that, the normal drift of difference between individuals.

Rather than consider anyone else difficult to understand in particular, I think we should consider any and all successful communication to be something of a miracle!

Well, he said it a couple years ago.

What happened to him anyway?

 

[ardour]

I can't speak for all guys, but I don't like "the chase". I don't take a "chase" to mean she is going to be any more classy or faithful or willing to work at an everlasting relationship with me. I like the idea of simmering with a woman as friends to become better friends and then more. Or simmering with a woman as acquaintances to become friends then better friends then more. And while all of this is going on, we both drop hints here and there that we'd LIKE for more to happen, but that this is just an important step that must be taken care of.

That might sound a little ridiculous here in 2011. I don't know. I think guys who like the chase probably don't give a **** about actually being in a relationship with the woman they're chasing. It's probably more about winning a contest with the prize being sex. Furthermore, the chase in itself says something about the woman that I don't particularly find respectable. She's playing a game too, and while I love games, I don't like that kind. She's probably interested in this guy chasing and catching her, but she is not communicating that. She is acting like she's not interested for the sake of the chase, and I'd have to wonder what kind of ramifications this kind of behavior could lead to in a relationship.

straight from 2011

It's utterly depressing that a lot of women prefer not to be friends first because it removes the chemistry, as if attraction were based on mystery rather than knowing a person. Hard to see how anything begun like that can last. Sadder when otherwise genuine women think they need to be unknowable and make men pursue them.