Ok so the thing is im struggling with some feelings at the moment. My sister has always been ill,l I love her dearly and understand that we view the world completely differently she see's everything in a very negative and defensive way ( because she has had it hard) whereas I do try and be a little bit more rational and I havent suffered like she has but the thing is growing up she was always the one who craved the attention more than I did so I learnt from a very young age that I needed to fend for myself. I always felt that I came second in the relationship with my mum, that prority wise I didnt rank that high because I never sought the attention in the same way that my sister did .
I never for a second doubt that my mum loves me any less I just struggle with our relationship
For the last two years my sister has had a worse time and my mum has relied on me more and more emotionally and I don't know if its because things are so raw at the moment or because there is so much going on but the more bad news I hear the more I am distancing myself from my family and I feel so guilty about this as I should be there for them both but I cant take any more I cant talk anymore about negative things
Things came to a head with me when I recieved a text message from my mum that was worded in a way that I thought she had sent it to me by mistake and that it was meant for my sister
I dont know how I can help them because I cant stop the run of bad luck that she is having I have no control over it (like none of us do) and i keep thinking to myself Im such a selfish person because all I can think of is the distance between my mum and me I thought I had got over this but lately Im struggling with it
I cant talk to my mum about this as she has so much on her
I never for a second doubt that my mum loves me any less I just struggle with our relationship
For the last two years my sister has had a worse time and my mum has relied on me more and more emotionally and I don't know if its because things are so raw at the moment or because there is so much going on but the more bad news I hear the more I am distancing myself from my family and I feel so guilty about this as I should be there for them both but I cant take any more I cant talk anymore about negative things
Things came to a head with me when I recieved a text message from my mum that was worded in a way that I thought she had sent it to me by mistake and that it was meant for my sister
I dont know how I can help them because I cant stop the run of bad luck that she is having I have no control over it (like none of us do) and i keep thinking to myself Im such a selfish person because all I can think of is the distance between my mum and me I thought I had got over this but lately Im struggling with it
I cant talk to my mum about this as she has so much on her