It seems to me that when it comes to love, sex, and relationships there are several trivial rules, obligations, aspects etc. that we are expected to follow, obey, condone, accept, etc. and if we don't then we feel ashamed about it.
WHY IS THIS?!
For example:
If I ever get into a relationship, I would feel ashamed if I ever tried to initiate sex with my girlfriend. Men are always ready for sex, women are not. I think it should be the girl's responsibility/decision to initiate sex. Any pressure for sex by the man can be seen as a lack of respect towards their partner. It's very common for men to be branded as ******** for breaking up with a woman because she never initiated sex. HOWEVER, if a man never initiated sex he would probably be dumped eventually (because the woman would might think he doesn't find her physically attractive) and still meant to feel like honeysuckle because he wasn't "man enough" or confident enough. And other men would laugh (not to their face) if another man got dumped because he never initiated sex.
I sometimes wonder what life would be like if it was the other way around. If women were always ready for sex and could reach orgasm easily and men were the complete opposite.
And why do I feel ashamed for thinking about this and posting this on a forum where people will judge me in a negative way?
It really amazes me how pursuit of sexual pleasure can lead to so many negative stigmas and feelings of guilt and shame and reasons to hate yourself in general for having these thoughts. Yet I understand why they do, at least I think I do.
Anyone else have some examples they'd like to share in regards to trivial rules men and women are expected to follow when it comes to love?
And of course, please give me your input on the example I gave.
WHY IS THIS?!
For example:
If I ever get into a relationship, I would feel ashamed if I ever tried to initiate sex with my girlfriend. Men are always ready for sex, women are not. I think it should be the girl's responsibility/decision to initiate sex. Any pressure for sex by the man can be seen as a lack of respect towards their partner. It's very common for men to be branded as ******** for breaking up with a woman because she never initiated sex. HOWEVER, if a man never initiated sex he would probably be dumped eventually (because the woman would might think he doesn't find her physically attractive) and still meant to feel like honeysuckle because he wasn't "man enough" or confident enough. And other men would laugh (not to their face) if another man got dumped because he never initiated sex.
I sometimes wonder what life would be like if it was the other way around. If women were always ready for sex and could reach orgasm easily and men were the complete opposite.
And why do I feel ashamed for thinking about this and posting this on a forum where people will judge me in a negative way?
It really amazes me how pursuit of sexual pleasure can lead to so many negative stigmas and feelings of guilt and shame and reasons to hate yourself in general for having these thoughts. Yet I understand why they do, at least I think I do.
Anyone else have some examples they'd like to share in regards to trivial rules men and women are expected to follow when it comes to love?
And of course, please give me your input on the example I gave.