The X
Member
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2010
- Messages
- 7
- Reaction score
- 0
So I guess I'm new. I talked myself out of posting, but then I saw the new member thread and felt compelled to make the introductory post so you guys don't feel snubbed. I found this place, like a lot of people seem to have, by telling Google about how lonely I was. Every time I told Google this it would send me here. I'd read a few things, remember that I'm not alone in being alone, and usually go about my business. Today, however, as I was going to the video store to rent a few movies in an attempt to fill up as much of my empty Saturday as possible I saw a dead goose in the road. Freshly slaughtered by some negligent college kid who was no doubt more concerned with the latest mindless drone met at whatever bar they were at the night before and whether or not they were getting laid again. On the divider in the road, visibly distraught, was another goose. Presumably its mate. This nearly broke me. The sight of the dead goose alone was enough to elicit thoughts of righteous vengeance against the worthless fleshbag who had ended its life. Its grieving mate... I have no words. When humans prove me right time and again in whatever demonstration of ignorance and selfishness they choose that they are indeed worthless, I usually just shake my head and retreat to the relative safety of my cave. Today the universe reminded me that it too is cold and ruthless and I am filled with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I'm pretty sure I'm not emo, and I don't think I'm negative or pessimistic. I think of it more as realistic and logical. When people's behavior repeats itself, I draw a conclusion. This seems very reasonable to me. I don't think I'm really all that depressed as much as I'm fed up or possibly dejected. I've always been a bit of a lone wolf, or a misfit. Whatever you wanna call me, I really don't care. I don't really fit in anywhere, and I never have. Among dorks and geeks I'm too dangerous or hardcore or edgy or some other word that means I don't belong. In the metal scene, I'm too weird and eccentric and nerdy to be one of them. Among other outcasts I'm too alpha for them to handle for long. I'm far too independent to belong to any 'normal' group of people for long periods of time as I will NEVER conform to anyone's acceptable outlook on life and people don't like it when you don't agree with them. I dunno. Maybe I'm really the one who's screwed up. Maybe I'm just crazy. I kinda doubt it. Feel free to offer your opinion on it.