You CANNOT Win As a Single Person

[VanillaCreme]

All I'll say is, you cannot win being in a relationship

I can tell from your posts that you're going through something, and while I don't know every detail, I can tell you that casting shade on something that can be great in one's life simply because you've hit a rough patch on the road won't do you any good.

 

[Morse Code]

Gosh what I experience most (or have in the past) is people wondering why I don't make efforts to meet people. I think most people mean well and were just never told by their mothers to shut up, therefore they don't know when to do so. These things together are just a bad combination in most people.

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

Hey LonelyGuy1, I feel your pain and sadness/suffering.

I should consider myself lucky that I was paired up with a nice girl. I have been dating her for about three months.

However, prior to meeting my love, I was single for the past seven years. It was not fun at all.

I guess I was single because I was busy with school, studying for exam, trying to get great grades, so that I can get a job after I graduate. And this is my second career degree that I was pursuing. However, still, there were students in my program who had boyfriends or girlfriends or were married, or married with children. Wow, how lucky can those people be, right?

I hate the saying that people have told me over and over again, "oh, don't worry, you will find somebody special when the timing is right." Bunch of horse s--t!

Well, in my case, I guess I am lucky. But I too was very angry and bitter and frustrated that I would not find a girlfriend and would live a single life.

I will be frank and candid that being single SUCKS.

All in all, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Being in a relationship can be bad as well. It's not always greener on the other side of the fence simply because a relationship is what someone desires.

 

[Rainbows]

I only read up to page 3 but, uh, I'm not in a relationship and I don't feel inferior and people aren't acting superior to me just because they are in a relationship?

.. I mean..

I feel stronger because I'm NOT in a relationship. I can do what I want to!

 

[LonelyGuy1]

Thanks for the replies, everyone! This has certainly been a well-read thread.

While I don't believe there is some conspiracy to keep single people out of the 'couples' club,' it definitely has felt at times that the odds are against me. I try not to look at it that way, but it's VERY difficult to endure so much rejection and not take it personally. At least, that's how it is for me.

I am really hoping for a change very soon. I know some people are just fine being single, and some even prefer it. Good for them. I was once one of those people, but things are different now.

I'm going to work very hard to ignore the unhelpful comments I've received from people in my life, and focus on the important thing: finding the love I seek.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's impossible for someone who has never been single always to understand someone who has always been single. It's like me trying to understand what a trapeze artist in a circus lives like.

I've always been single, and to other people, it baffles them, because they have it easy in dating and can't understand someone who has difficulty. So I basically just joke about it, and hide the fact that it ******* hurts to be alone.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Someone who has never been single? You mean, those children who are betrothed at the age of 4? It is possible to understand where someone is coming from without being there (currently) yourself. It is possible to have compassion for those going through things that are upsetting to them. Just because one isn't, doesn't mean their feelings are hard as rocks.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Someone who has never been single? You mean, those children who are betrothed at the age of 4? It is possible to understand where someone is coming from without being there (currently) yourself. It is possible to have compassion for those going through things that are upsetting to them. Just because one isn't, doesn't mean their feelings are hard as rocks.

Having compassion for, and completely understanding, is different.

I have compassion for gay people. I'm not gay. Someone who has been in relationships since they've been 10, and are married, are looking at things a different way than I am. That's all I meant.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think completely understanding is difficult. There are different levels of understanding. I've gone through things in my life that I don't understand at all.

Viewing someone who is in a relationship as someone who couldn't possibly understand is a bit silly. Especially if you don't know the person, and have no idea what they've ever gone through in life.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with LeaningIntoTheMuse-I have met people who got married in their twenties and who have been happy since then in their marriage (though obviously there will have been some rough spots along the way) and they have no real idea of how lonely it is to be middle aged and still single. They are used to having someone at their side to share in all of the major decisions and events of life and often take this for granted. They often don't underasatnd how cold the world can be to someone alone and how frightening it can be to have noone you can rely on to be there for you at really bad times, such as when you are seriously ill.

 

[ApexRacer]

I applaud you for trying to do everything you can to find someone. I certainly wish I had it in me to get out and search like you. I don't even know where to go to begin meeting new people to try and date. I haven't been on a date in 8 years!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think completely understanding is difficult. There are different levels of understanding. I've gone through things in my life that I don't understand at all.

Viewing someone who is in a relationship as someone who couldn't possibly understand is a bit silly. Especially if you don't know the person, and have no idea what they've ever gone through in life.

You're missing my point. :rolleyes2:

You can't understand something that you haven't been through. I can't relate to someone who's been married, even though they may have attributes that makes me want to be their friend. Since they have the marriage experience, I can't relate to it until I marry, myself.

This failure to understand my P.O.V. is kind of proving my point. The fact that you can't understand where I'm coming from proves that you can't understand where I'm coming from.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I can understand what being married is like. Never been married.