The thing is, why did the girls laugh and find the guy desirable? That is the screwy part. I don't even know why guys or girls even enjoy watching other people get humiliated or bullied.
Because the guy created a comparison where he looked stronger. Also, I think some people like these comparisons because it makes them feel better about themselves and their own insecurities - "at least I'm not that person/kind of person, etc". It makes them feel like "insiders", whether they really are, or not.
It was horrible when I was a kid, there was no such thing as anti bullying clubs, and little to nothing was done at schools to stop it. The only thing that was introduced in my last few years of high school was a zero tolerance policy against fighting.
Yep. I was in elementary at the time but I remember this as well. I
hated it. Even as a kid, I knew it was wrong, and just stupid because it treats all fighting as the same thing, when it isn't. There's a big difference between picking on someone, and fighting back against someone bullying you. The thing was, in addition to being bullies, these people also had a knack for twisting things and presenting themselves as the victim instead of the aggressor they really were. And if you stood up for yourself, nobody was interested in hearing your side of the story, it was just that you were fighting, and that was it. So all the zero-tolerance policy accomplished, was preventing the people getting picked on from sticking up for themselves, and in doing so, essentially protecting and condoning bullies, and allowing the bullying to continue unopposed, because you couldn't take matters into your own hands, and the teachers rarely if ever did anything about it themselves. I don't know how anyone thought that forcing people to just take it, was somehow the answer. I think it was because they didn't really care. "Zero tolerance" just means less work.
I just think it's totally wrong to
force people into passively accepting being bullied, because in my experience if you don't stand up to a bully, if you don't assert yourself, if you don't talk back or fight back physically, it basically sends them the message to continue walking all over you, because it gets them to think you aren't going to do anything about it, so it's a risk-free ego boost for them. But nobody should be forced to allow a bully to pick on them until the bully gets bored, just to preserve a facade of politeness for politeness' sake. That just sweeps problems under the rug, it doesn't solve anything or help anyone. Turning the other cheek, or sticking your head in the sand and hoping it goes away, doesn't work. And forcing people to just take it, erodes their self-esteem by making them feel like weak and ineffectual is what they really are. Finally, it can give you lasting humiliation and anger from not sticking up for yourself when you should have, long after the initial incident.
The way I try to look at it is that those guys have to live with what they did...I often wonder when they see all these anti bullying movements in the news if it reminds them of their horrific behaviour back in the days. I hope they do and it makes them feel terrible.
I guarantee they don't. It's their personality, or mindset. They're pro-"survival of the fittest", pro-meritocracy of what you're born with, because they see themselves on the side of the "fittest", even if they're really not. They've believed, probably from an early age, that they're stronger/richer/better at something/whatever else than most people, and therefore it means they're superior and inherently deserving, and have the right to treat anyone who they think isn't as strong/high-status/worthy as them, any way they see fit. And they think that if anyone doesn't like it, it's just their fault for being weak/inferior, and that's it, they should accept their place in the social order, which they see as natural and right (conveniently, because it places them on top). It's likely that the way their whole lives have gone, and the people around them, have only confirmed their beliefs. They don't think about this stuff because they don't care to. That's why I have such strong feelings about it. They know right from wrong, choose wrong anyway, and don't care because in their mind they're never wrong, because they believe they're superior. They're egotists and sociopaths, so reconsidering, apologizing, or admitting fault or guilt is just not something that kind of person does.
