Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

This is what happens when schools hand out gold medals just for participation.

I'll suggest you develop a natural flair for being clumsy with a stapler, boiling hot sugared coffee, and so on. Offices are dangerous workspaces.

You know what Colster! they should ban it until everyone gets an A for exams too lol and then.. we can all see how society functions.

 

[Colster]

I hated school, and was never there. I probably would never have achieved an A in anything other than Absence. But, I still know how to say sorry.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I hated school, and was never there. I probably would never have achieved an A in anything other than Absence. But, I still know how to say sorry.

No way, I thought you was aright academic. Just proof schools are no good

 

[Colster]

No way, I thought you was aright academic. Just proof schools are no good

school just didn't interest me. They wouldn't teach what I wanted to know. I really only began truly learning once I had left. I have an analytical mind, and respond well to kinesthetic teaching methods. To me, it always seemed ridiculous to expect a child to learn about tidal shifts of sand, without taking them to the beach. Oddly, I nearly became a teacher. I did one full term at a collage, teaching vehicle body repair. Hated that, and was soon using similar tools to open skulls. I finished medical training in 2012, many years after leaving school. I still know bugger all about tidal shifts.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Oddly, I nearly became a teacher. I did one full term at a collage, teaching vehicle body repair. Hated that, and was soon using similar tools to open skulls.

Translation:

You taught vehicle body repair for one term, but were fed up by the teacher's salary, so one night after class, you decided to become a legbreaker for the mob, whacking people on the head with large wrenches and ratchets when they were late with their debts.

Eventually you could no longer manage to make time for your day job as a teacher, and your moonlighting gig with the mob. In the end, the mob won.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Well, thought I'd ask another question after flicking through my mental stereotypes about men lol. Now... this is mainly from my upbringing but I wanted to know if you fellas feel this is true to you...

Do you struggle to say sorry when you are in the wrong?.

Context - My dad was like a pilar of everything a man should be to me, however, the man had his flaws lol He'd never say "I'm sorry" he'd rather give you his teeth. No matter if it was clear as day that he was wrong, as I went through life I noticed men rarely say sorry in my circles, is this by design?

In terms of research I watched some feminist make a speech that women say sorry too much, and gave examples of what men said instead of saying sorry, I was mind blown... also dating advice to accept gestures as apologies from men because they just aren't gonna say it lol Hmm this is interesting, wanna discuss?

Apologizing is easy, know if I'm actually in the wrong or if she's just on her bullshit is the hard part.
Well, was the hard part. It's a little easier for me to be able to tell as I got older.
I'm weird. I'm not submissive as a man, but bratty sub types of women frustrate me too much.
So if she's on her bullshit I'm more likely to just point blank call her out about being on her bullshit cause ain't nobody got time for that.
But if I've actually done something genuinely wrong and I'm not being emotionally manipulated over the axis of a power dynamic, then apologizing is actually pretty easy for me.

It's human nature to assume you are correct, this happens with men a bit more often though because we think objectively rather than subjectively. For most of us, life is more of an objective experience than a subjective experience: We're always trying to DO. Why do we go to work? We're DOING. Why do we invest into owning tools? We're DOING. The Action Of Doing, is entirely objective and conceptual. It means, The Man Has An Idea, and he's trying to accomplish that idea.

The dangers of assuming that you're correct though, are pretty high. If you put the nail in the wrong spot it's kind of just a pain in the ass, but if you're playing Russian Roulette the difference between 5 and 6 can be very goddamn important.

A high profile businessman I once knew assumed he was correct once and didn't overlook his paperwork thoroughly because he was in a rush. The following week 6 Court Martials rolled into the office and took him out in handcuffs for $250,000 in tax evasion and he went to prison.

The lesson being:
It's safer to assume that you're wrong and reprocess information later to determine if you're actually wrong, than it is to assume that you're right and just go with the flow.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Apologizing is easy, know if I'm actually in the wrong or if she's just on her bullshit is the hard part.
Well, was the hard part. It's a little easier for me to be able to tell as I got older.
I'm weird. I'm not submissive as a man, but bratty sub types of women frustrate me too much.
So if she's on her bullshit I'm more likely to just point blank call her out about being on her bullshit cause ain't nobody got time for that.
But if I've actually done something genuinely wrong and I'm not being emotionally manipulated over the axis of a power dynamic, then apologizing is actually pretty easy for me.

It's human nature to assume you are correct, this happens with men a bit more often though because we think objectively rather than subjectively. For most of us, life is more of an objective experience than a subjective experience: We're always trying to DO. Why do we go to work? We're DOING. Why do we invest into owning tools? We're DOING. The Action Of Doing, is entirely objective and conceptual. It means, The Man Has An Idea, and he's trying to accomplish that idea.

The dangers of assuming that you're correct though, are pretty high. If you put the nail in the wrong spot it's kind of just a pain in the ass, but if you're playing Russian Roulette the difference between 5 and 6 can be very goddamn important.

A high profile businessman I once knew assumed he was correct once and didn't overlook his paperwork thoroughly because he was in a rush. The following week 6 Court Martials rolled into the office and took him out in handcuffs for $250,000 in tax evasion and he went to prison.

The lesson being:
It's safer to assume that you're wrong and reprocess information later to determine if you're actually wrong, than it is to assume that you're right and just go with the flow.

I like this, I appreciate a man who can say sorry, who can admit fault, you know?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I like this, I appreciate a man who can say sorry, who can admit fault, you know?

It can destroy relationships of all kinds, romantic, platonic, and business relationships, to not apologize.
Paradoxically it can also destroy relationships of all kinds, romantic, platonic and business relationships, to engage in sociopathic manipulative tactics.
This is actually the source of much of the worlds social problems right now.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

 

[ewomack]

I never noticed that girls being present made bullying any worse. Some guys like beating other guys up even without witnesses. It seemed like a mere sport to them. But more than once, I heard girls screaming "stop it!" when they witnessed bullying and most of the time the guys would stop. Yet I also knew that some girls could command their burly boyfriends to beat up other guys, so everyone had to learn which girls not to mess with. At least one girl I knew liked terrorizing guys by threatening to have her boyfriend "kick their ass."

I received far more bullying than I gave, but I did give a little. Getting bullied sometimes acts as an inspiration to bully others. After all, you can't bully the bullies back, because they are bigger and stronger than you are, but you can "compensate" your pride by bullying smaller people. I'm sad to say that I did do that on a few occassions and I would erase all of those actions if I could. I was immature and bullied, so I try to forgive myself based on that. But I didn't carry any of that behavior forward into my adult life, thankfully.

 

[randomguy]

I went to Catholic schools we didn't have any girls, plenty of bullying though mostly from the Nuns.

 

[Finished]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

Yes, the alpha males like to show their dominance in front of the girls/women to show that they are in fact the dominate males suitable for mating.

Did I ever bully others. Hmmm. Maybe:

I was bullied a lot. Well, until I finally had enough. Two older boys were bullying me in front of a group of people. So, I freaked out and punched one of them as hard as I could in the nose and drew blood. Everybody laughed at the two older boys and said that little kid just kicked your ass. Honestly it felt good in many ways. After that I looked for bullies and went after them. I hated seeing smaller / weaker people being abused. I still do. I was in a lot of fights. I got my ass kicked a bunch and I've kicked a lot of ass. I even got a girlfriend out of it one time. Because, many girls/woman like a tough guy, a protector.

 

[Colster]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

Little guy throughout my school life, more prominent in teenage years. I was forever the target of bullies, but they never overcome. I was smart, funny, and had a certain vindictive streak. If I didn't win with Mr Stick, I'd get your girlfriend. It wasn't difficult either, maturity and comedy always win. Maybe since the age of 11, I was the guy that got things done. Even the short-arse insecure kid that I was, I always had the prettiest girls around me. Now what meathead wants to upset that. Try, and I'll leave you needing therapy for the remainder of your adult life. Needless to say, I didn't get messed with. I was weird, little, and way out there. But polite, funny, and willing to humiliate in unfathomable fashion.

 

[ardour]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

The physical presence of girls didn't seem to making much difference, but men establish pecking orders in adolescence partly to appeal to girls, yeah.
At a sociobiological level it is about securing "sexual access" to women by humiliating other men, which places themselves towards the top of a hierarchy. And sadly, it works. All the nasty bully types I knew from school are married to attractive women with families. And while not every woman (or even most) are attracted to dominant men, enough are as to incentivize it. The victims, you know what happens to them. Forever alone/incel loser types on forums like this.

 

[TogetherAlone]

To be honest in the cases I was bullied I never really paid attention to what gender the people around me were. In the case of the stupid period where I was a bully I again didn't pay attention to whoever else was around, not even sure the reasons as to why I bullied, was a dumb mistake.

I also apologize for literally everything if it was my fault or not so sorry is not hard for me to say

 

[Colster]

Even as a young adult, dominant guys have tried to belittle me, either maliciously due to my stature, or to assert their prowess in front of others. It has never worked, and never particularly affected me.

Imagine coming home from work, and that weird little guy who you insulted earlier, is sat in your home, chatting happily with your mom, sister or girlfriend, and I have your dog beside me too, innocently feeding it treats. I'm smiling, telling jokes, listening to heartfelt stories, gathering every morsel of information. Drop a casual joke about the chocolates I brought, being out of date, poisonous, and look towards the dog that just ate one. I laugh and leave. Tick, tick, tick, the paranoia slowly creeps in.

Of course, I am wholly opposed to animal cruelty of any kind. People, not so much.

My parents always taught me to hit bullies first. A nice ideology, assuming you are built like Tyson Fury. But fresia with their mind, finance, or security, and they are never coming back. As an infant, I knew that if others thought the bully had pissed themselves, the others would laugh, ensuing humiliation. How easy is it to carry a water pistol and wait.

Bullies are usually only strong if you give into them. I have never done so, neither in school, social, or in business. Often it just takes a little observation and time, and their insecurities are exposed. Likewise, violence need not necessarily be the answer, although fear and humiliation usually does the trick.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

No, actually I GOT bullied in school....
...And then, one day, something inside me snapped...
I think it's because I came from an abusive household, but I specifically remember walloping one of my bullies with a 1,700 hardback page biology textbook over the head hard enough to give him one Hell of a concussion.
I went from being bullied to being voted most likely to become a school shooter in exactly 1 fight.

 

[Sci-Fi]

My next question...

Think back fellas, to schools days, do you think boys in school try to humiliate other boys in front of the girls? Like do you think bullying gets worse if girls are present, and if yes, why do they do that? Was you ever a bully? Do you regret your passed misdeeds?

Yes, yes they did. I was bullied and got picked on and humiliated in front of other boys and girls. Even had a girl humiliate me in front of half the school before. I don't know why some guys do it, I guess it makes them feel more macho or something. Sometimes it could be that they get bullied at home by a parent or older sibling so they in turn do it to others they think they have power over. The thing is, why did the girls laugh and find the guy desirable? That is the screwy part. I don't even know why guys or girls even enjoy watching other people get humiliated or bullied. It was horrible when I was a kid, there was no such thing as anti bullying clubs, and little to nothing was done at schools to stop it. The only thing that was introduced in my last few years of high school was a zero tolerance policy against fighting.

I know some did regret their misdeeds, I ended up going to college with a guy who used to pick on me in high school, after he got to know me he regretted all the things he did and said to me. We became friends. I once had a friend who turned on me and started to pick on me, after one eventful unfortunate or fortunate day he realised what he was doing and apologised and we became friends again. So some do and some don't, and some you never know if they do. The way I try to look at it is that those guys have to live with what they did. I may have to carry the emotional scares of the acts but at least I can be happy and go on knowing that I wasn't one of them. I often wonder when they see all these anti bullying movements in the news if it reminds them of their horrific behaviour back in the days. I hope they do and it makes them feel terrible. People who bully are pathetic, deal with your own honeysuckle and don't take it out on other people.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I never noticed that girls being present made bullying any worse. Some guys like beating other guys up even without witnesses. It seemed like a mere sport to them. But more than once, I heard girls screaming "stop it!" when they witnessed bullying and most of the time the guys would stop. Yet I also knew that some girls could command their burly boyfriends to beat up other guys, so everyone had to learn which girls not to mess with. At least one girl I knew liked terrorizing guys by threatening to have her boyfriend "kick their ass."

I received far more bullying than I gave, but I did give a little. Getting bullied sometimes acts as an inspiration to bully others. After all, you can't bully the bullies back, because they are bigger and stronger than you are, but you can "compensate" your pride by bullying smaller people. I'm sad to say that I did do that on a few occassions and I would erase all of those actions if I could. I was immature and bullied, so I try to forgive myself based on that. But I didn't carry any of that behavior forward into my adult life, thankfully.

You know what, I always see in movies, bullying starts because a girl talks to the nerdy guy during some sort of homework assignment, cliche I know, I just wondered, how common is that?

I went to Catholic schools we didn't have any girls, plenty of bullying though mostly from the Nuns.

I'm a wee Catholic school girl too, we was mixed but... there was a lotttt of bullying going on.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yes, the alpha males like to show their dominance in front of the girls/women to show that they are in fact the dominate males suitable for mating.

Did I ever bully others. Hmmm. Maybe:

I was bullied a lot. Well, until I finally had enough. Two older boys were bullying me in front of a group of people. So, I freaked out and punched one of them as hard as I could in the nose and drew blood. Everybody laughed at the two older boys and said that little kid just kicked your ass. Honestly it felt good in many ways. After that I looked for bullies and went after them. I hated seeing smaller / weaker people being abused. I still do. I was in a lot of fights. I got my ass kicked a bunch and I've kicked a lot of ass. I even got a girlfriend out of it one time. Because, many girls/woman like a tough guy, a protector.

You know, I love a protector, but theres just something weak about picking on the weak... You know? I deffo find it gross and would never condone anything like that. I remember one guy...he made this boy sit and get make up put on him by the girls.. I cant imagine the humiliation he felt, and it was like if he didn't let them that guy was gonna really... hurt him.

Little guy throughout my school life, more prominent in teenage years. I was forever the target of bullies, but they never overcome. I was smart, funny, and had a certain vindictive streak. If I didn't win with Mr Stick, I'd get your girlfriend. It wasn't difficult either, maturity and comedy always win. Maybe since the age of 11, I was the guy that got things done. Even the short-arse insecure kid that I was, I always had the prettiest girls around me. Now what meathead wants to upset that. Try, and I'll leave you needing therapy for the remainder of your adult life. Needless to say, I didn't get messed with. I was weird, little, and way out there. But polite, funny, and willing to humiliate in unfathomable fashion.

Do you think your height was the main cause for bullying? Do you think they wanted you to be insecure because of your height?