Girl problems... what happened!?

Hey everyone. Hope you all are ready for a story...

So this past weekend was 4th of July weekend (a holiday in the U.S.), and instead of staying couped up in my apartment like normal, I went to a friend's party.

Long story short, I met a girl, Shana, who I haven't seen in many years. We used to see each other fairly often when we were young, but it was the first time we met as adults. We got along really, and she was quite obviously flirting with me. I flirted (or at least attempted to flirt) back... life was good. Everything seemed to be going well, and she even said she had something "secret" she'd like to ask me in private afterwards. I'm quite excited that things were going so well... until an artist shows up, who I'll dub "Sam".

Sam was at the party the whole time, but he was busy drawing kids portraits. Besides me, Shana was also showing quite some interest in Sam. Not as much as in me, but enough to make me notice. Anyway, Sam was drawing many people's portraits that day, but ironically ran out of supplies just as he was about to draw Shana's picture. (I'm sure actually he ran out of supplies & wasn't faking). They decide to go get more art stuff from his apartment, which is just around the block. They go get the supplies, and it takes MUCH longer than 15 minutes it should take =(. Needless to say, I, along with everyone else take notice.

Eventually, Shana comes back. As normal with my friends, we tease her about it, and she seemingly shrugs it off. Unbeknownst to me, she is upset and goes leaves the party area. Considering she laughed off the whole 8 hours of teasing from earlier, it was suspicious that she gets upset now. I notice quickly enough, but by the time I head out to find her, Sam is already out there comforting her!! Sam & Shana both see me, and he asks her who I am. Both Shana & I give each other a look of "so... how to answer", before saying "close friend". She asks what I was looking for outside. I, being ultra-shy, panicked and lied with the first thing thing that comes to my mind... "I'm headed back to my car." I never heard that secret she was going to tell me, and I forgot to ask for a number due to panic. Argh!

That's the story. What do you guys/girls think happened? Did I get played? Any suggestions on what to do next? I'm sure I made some bonehead moves. Any responses are appreciated.

I wouldn't say you were played... but I would say that you were outshined. An artist doing characters at a party would get a lot of attention. Girls like guys who appear to have social dominance. Being quiet and ultra-shy you probably were barely seen... no offense.

She must want a friend, and chances are you can be a great friend to her.

Pretty much what he said. She probably was going for you, but caught wind of something better before a move was made. Really just a case of bad luck on this one.

Happens. Sorry about it.

Yep, it happens. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Most women think that shy guys are uninteresting, because they keep to themselves. An artist seems much, much more interesting for them. Once you're in the "friend zone" it's difficult to become more than that for her afterwards. I'm sorry, buddy. Just bad luck.

Artists can be shy, too. It depends on how well you can sell yourself.

IgnoredOne said:

Artists can be shy, too. It depends on how well you can sell yourself.

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Too true dude, too true. Im a guitarist and I am very shy. Can I get a girl? No chance because im so **** shy. I hardly ever play infront of people unless its an actual gig which I still get really really nervous about.

Its funny because I have been told by people many times out of the blue at parties, social gatherings and such that if I had the confidence I could get any girl I wanted, that they would flock to me, that I could get a beautiful model as a girlfriend.
:club:

Like others have said, he just outshined you. Sure, maybe you could have been more aggressive, more confident etc, but more often than not you can't really do anything in these situations. Another guy will come and snatch the girl from your hands and there would be absolutely nothing you could have done differently to change what happened. He was just more attractive than you. It's as simple as that.

In any case, I wouldn't really try to pursue anything more than a friendship. If she were seriously into you, she would have stayed with you that night.

Well thanks for the input everyone. As they say, "Easy come, easy go."

jay3206 said:

Well thanks for the input everyone. As they say, "Easy come, easy go."

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Too bad it was not your easy come...

You got cock block.

Learn how to pick up chicks..etc..etc..etc

Another honeysuckle you gatta deal with is cocking blocking bitches.
it's a part of life, the dating game, getting chicks and all the bullshit in getting
Good looking chicks.

Your other alternative is to go for chicks with low self esteem
clingie chicks. She'll hang on to ur ass for dear life.
The cons..is you're probably wanna hang yourself after a while.

or you can date hawt chicks all the fucken time..
Develope the I'll show you *****...you aint honeysuckle, I can do better.
The sugar coat version of that would be...
"I have good self esteem. I deserve better. I have confidence.blah...blah...blah"


or you can feel sorry for yourself and go into a deep fucken depression.

I'd personally...fine out whatever her secret is...it's still open.
Then pull her fucken hair and slapp her ass real real hard for playing me like that.
it'll a fucken challenge...and she'll like it. it'll be another one of her secrets.
I'll make a stalker out of her....oh, I'm such a bad guy.
She's a bad nuaghty girl. Make no mistake about this.

ShybutHi said:

Too true dude, too true. Im a guitarist and I am very shy. Can I get a girl? No chance because im so **** shy. I hardly ever play infront of people unless its an actual gig which I still get really really nervous about.

Its funny because I have been told by people many times out of the blue at parties, social gatherings and such that if I had the confidence I could get any girl I wanted, that they would flock to me, that I could get a beautiful model as a girlfriend.
:club:

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You should try to present your work more, though, and it has nothing to do with women persay. Its something of yourself, your life's work and expression, in your music - something that's worth sharing, and if you think that it sucks, then that should be motivation to work harder.

I'm a writer myself and I know how painfully difficult, frightening and self-effacing that it can be to let out your work so that other people can tear it apart like vultures devouring your soul. But that is what makes it better, for in the end, how can you truly judge your work? Its like your children - you cannot fairly judge your children. Only disinterested eyes, and ears, can do so.

I'm a guitarist....what you gatta do is make love to your guitar.
I rip on that things.
See... women have jealousy issues. Women wanna blow me when i
play my guitar. It's like a control issues some women have.
They wanna control me or tame me. I can also be wild and out of
control a lot of times. it's kind of like a power trip from some women.
Their big ass titays has more power over me than my guitar
But it's true...more than half the women I've been with will wanna
distract me, tease me or get sexual with me when I play my guitar.

I also understand about the countless hours of practicing.
Alone time required to try to master the guitar or music.
Another part of me is shy or quite...
but I've learn how to reshape that or color it slightly as I would
color my music. Mysterious...
I'm also mysterious and some women are curious about me,
which draws them to me.
So I'm using that to work for me instead of against me.

I'm also forbidden love. The romance and passion that comes
with that. Some women loves and appriciate my difference.
It's one of the reason why I've only dated or been with cucasian women.
They're wild, beautiful, out going but can also be very loving gentle, kind, and sweet.
They all have the sweet shy girl next door personality from time to time.

I can also improvise on the fly playing solos and what not.
Go with the flow, be in the moment..not worrying if I'm playing
to right note, wrong notes, scales...etc.
I apply the same principle when dealing with women.

Plus I personally think I'm the honeysuckle. It helps to have very beautiful women threw themsleves at me or asked me out...etc.

are you giving up already though ??

she liked you didnt she ?
that artist dude prob gets hit on at every party.

maybe someone else from the party knows how to reach here.
i wouldnt give up that easy.

"Its never over until she's got a ring on her finger."

Ah, I do remember college.

I think it's over once a girl loses interest in you...... maybe someone more experienced can correct me if I am wrong?

its never over untill you get slapped with a restraining order

paulo said:

its never over untill you get slapped with a restraining order

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Gary Busey explains everything you need to know!

IgnoredOne said:

paulo said:

its never over untill you get slapped with a restraining order

Click to expand...

Gary Busey explains everything you need to know!

Click to expand...

whahaha awesome.
that might be the time to give it up yeah

paulo said:

IgnoredOne said:

paulo said:

its never over untill you get slapped with a restraining order

Click to expand...

Gary Busey explains everything you need to know!

Click to expand...

whahaha awesome.
that might be the time to give it up yeah

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I remember when a girl in office told a persistant coworker:

"My boyfriend is in prison for violent crime, and he is a very jealous man."

That worked, too.