Physical flirting

Just a quick, simple question. What are the typical signs that a girl is flirting physically, as opposed to just being clumsy?

I mean, is there a specific level of contact in general? Is it usually made obvious or kept hard-to-detect-subtle?

I was working with a girl today and she seemed to be getting quite close to me. At one point she was stood in front of me chatting and she kind of let her hands just sit against mine, back to back, for a good five or so seconds.

Then, when I was reaching across the table to pick up some stuff, she seemed to sort of lean in towards me a tiny bit so that her...err...exclusive lady components were in contact with my arm. She stayed like that for a little bit while we talked. So that surprised me a bit.

I'm not sure she's my type of girl (she's very pretty and seems all around nice, but also smokes and does tend to curse rather a lot!), but I'd just like to know if that kind of thing is just typical clumsy behaviour or if it's actually kind of unusual for a girl to put those kinds of body parts in contact with someone she's indifferent to :\

The hand thing could just be that she's a physical person when she talks to someone. Personally I hate that, but there are people who do it. Her resting her boobs on your arm...that seems like she's flirty. Doesn't sound like clumsiness to me. Being clumsy is like if she fell into you tripping over her own feet and her hand accidentally groped your groin, and she profusely apologized for it.

Does she do this with other people? If not then she is definitely flirting with you.

Did she look at you or smiled as she did that?

If so, then I'm pretty sure it's flirting.

if you suspect it might be flirting, it is probably flirting.

SophiaGrace said:

if you suspect it might be flirting, it is probably flirting.

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Sorry, you guys must be so sick of me asking all these naive questions!

I haven't seen her do it with other people. I dunno, it was just long enough and odd enough for me to start feeling slightly blush-y

We were working in a lab however (so there's a lot of moving about and close proximity stuff). There was no reason for her to be that close to me right then though, let alone lean her boobs against me o_0

She's a couple of years older than me and I think I just want to stay friends with her. Which is odd because she is actually really attractive and friendly, I'm just not sure that she's right for me personality wise.

After work she was super chatty as well, kind of asking me a bunch of stuff about where I live and so on. So that was sweet actually, it was nice to talk to someone a bit.

Gah...I'm always stuck in an awkward situation whenever this stuff happens. That is if she was flirting in the first place XD

Ak5 said:

Did she look at you or smiled as she did that?

If so, then I'm pretty sure it's flirting.

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Well, she was just talking to me casually really, just a neutral facial expression. But it was kind of like "Oh hey, let's talk a bit while I prod you with my lady lumps!" sort of talking :\

The last girl (who I'm still keen on) who sort of "flirted" with me smiled a whole lot more, but now she seems indifferent to me. So overall I'm kind of confused with flirty behaviour!

She was flirting and interested.

Yep yep yep, and women don't usually push their breasts up against a guy unless they are cutting your hair.

Sci-Fi said:

Yep yep yep, and women don't usually push their breasts up against a guy unless they are cutting your hair.

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Well, my hair is getting a bit long now...lol

It just seems kind of weird that a girl might actually like me that way, not sure why :\

Soph, you think so, really? That short post made me disproportionately happy! ^^

She asked where I'd like to settle with my "wife" in future, which seemed like a bizarre question too. She did sit with me a couple of weeks back, I remember her legs being unusually close to mine at the time. So maybe it wasn't my imagination after all. Oh, if she was just a little bit less smoker-y and a bit less sweary I'd be feeling plainly happy right now, rather than strange hopefulness mixed with dread

And there's still the problem of the other girl too. I guess I should just stop thinking about this unless something crazy happens.

TheSolitaryMan said:

At one point she was stood in front of me chatting and she kind of let her hands just sit against mine, back to back, for a good five or so seconds.

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FLIRTING

TheSolitaryMan said:

Then, when I was reaching across the table to pick up some stuff, she seemed to sort of lean in towards me a tiny bit so that her...err...exclusive lady components were in contact with my arm. She stayed like that for a little bit while we talked.

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SHE WANTS YOU

TheSolitaryMan said:

She asked where I'd like to settle with my "wife" in future, which seemed like a bizarre question too.

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SHE'S TESTING YOU

TheSolitaryMan said:

The last girl (who I'm still keen on) who sort of "flirted" with me smiled a whole lot more, but now she seems indifferent to me. So overall I'm kind of confused with flirty behaviour!

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Welcome to the world of dating

Don't always assume flirting means someone is interested, some of us flirt for no other reason than it's fun.

S t r a y said:

Don't always assume flirting means someone is interested, some of us flirt for no other reason than it's fun.

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In my opinion, it is deception at that level. I wouldn't flirt with someone I wouldn't give a real chance to.

Holy honeysuckle bro, why do you feel the need to categorize every bit of crap a female throws at you? You're so classically romantic it actually hurts to look at and it does bother my OCD or something, can't simply pass by, don't blame me.

So.

Do you really need to attach a term to what does rubbing her tits against your arm mean? How does knowing whether it was physical flirting or flirtatious clumsiness or Flirt McFlirty or flirtyherpityderpy help you? She still leaned her breasts onto your arm of all the other kinky objects that undoubtedly can be found at a lab to scratch your itchy boob on. That's what happened, shameless voluntary rubbing of tits against your limb, whether it was flirting or no, why should you waste your time giving even the slightest of fucks about? Some women pull this honeysuckle all the time, makes them all warm inside, excited. Men do this too, in their own ways.

Your overthinking and analyzing of the details might get you in trouble. It looks so ******* innocent and feminine someone would try to dominate you, just you wait. If a girl looks you in the eye and smiles, you should not try to turn your gaze into her very soul in hopes of determining her intentions, it's a waste of time and effort. You should not count seconds of eye contact because in all probability even she doesn't know or give a flying honeysuckle about why the hell she stared at you for as long as 4.4 instead of 3.1. You should not obsess with sacred meaning of her statements and hidden nature of her questions. That's all what who females refer to as 'weirdos' do.

So my advice is, forget the semantics and enjoy the process if you're ok with it.

Don't bother to give terms and discover concealed meanings. Let it ..

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... naturally. Yeah, what this penguin said. OK?

If you are not OK with her pushing her tits onto your arm then tell her about that, it should do the trick and catch her off guard (Leaving her wondering why you didn't like her breasts, after all other males are happy when she does that. Now she's analyzing honeysuckle like a crazy weird egyptologist leaning over some sort of a dusty stone tablet no one really gives a fresia about. How it should be). You wouldn't be excited if your future girlfriend was wondering "Is he being physically flirtatious with me?" as someone is grinding his balls against her rear at some party instead of pushing the ALPHA prick away, huh?

Murder your outdated romanticism, bro, like you murdered Santa Klaus beliefs. It's nothing more than sort of post-teenage angst, burdensome baggage. You'll be better off without it and much less vulnerable, trust me, plus as a bonus females are drawn to grown ups too, not just 'unreal' escort girls, most of them, 'loving relationship' material as well.

But you'll still most likely keep doing it your way. Going to reject my teachings subconsciously again and again not because I'm wrong, but only out of fact that I'm not sweet talking it into your ear gently, like your grandma would do. Anyway, best of luck to you and all that, sincerely, my OCD or whatever feels sated.

No insults/offense intended. Apologizing in advance for possible hurt, didn't mean to, as always.

MechanicalMishka said:

Holy honeysuckle bro, why do you feel the need to categorize every bit of crap a female throws at you? You're so classically romantic it actually hurts to look at and it does bother my OCD or something, can't simply pass by, don't blame me.

So.

Do you really need to attach a term to what does rubbing her tits against your arm mean? How does knowing whether it was physical flirting or flirtatious clumsiness or Flirt McFlirty or flirtyherpityderpy help you? She still leaned her breasts onto your arm of all the other kinky objects that undoubtedly can be found at a lab to scratch your itchy boob on. That's what happened, shameless voluntary rubbing of tits against your limb, whether it was flirting or no, why should you waste your time giving even the slightest of fucks about? Some women pull this honeysuckle all the time, makes them all warm inside, excited. Men do this too, in their own ways.

Your overthinking and analyzing of the details might get you in trouble. It looks so ******* innocent and feminine someone would try to dominate you, just you wait. If a girl looks you in the eye and smiles, you should not try to turn your gaze into her very soul in hopes of determining her intentions, it's a waste of time and effort. You should not count seconds of eye contact because in all probability even she doesn't know or give a flying honeysuckle about why the hell she stared at you for as long as 4.4 instead of 3.1. You should not obsess with sacred meaning of her statements and hidden nature of her questions. That's all what who females refer to as 'weirdos' do.

So my advice is, forget the semantics and enjoy the process if you're ok with it.

...

If you are not OK with her pushing her tits onto your arm then tell her about that, it should do the trick and catch her off guard (Leaving her wondering why you didn't like her breasts, after all other males are happy when she does that. Now she's analyzing honeysuckle like a crazy weird egyptologist leaning over some sort of a dusty stone tablet no one really gives a fresia about. How it should be). You wouldn't be excited if your future girlfriend was wondering "Is he being physically flirtatious with me?" as someone is grinding his balls against her rear at some party instead of pushing the ALPHA prick away, huh?

Murder your outdated romanticism, bro, like you murdered Santa Klaus beliefs. It's nothing more than sort of post-teenage angst, burdensome baggage. You'll be better off without it and much less vulnerable, trust me, plus as a bonus females are drawn to grown ups too, not just 'unreal' escort girls, most of them, 'loving relationship' material as well.

But you'll still most likely keep doing it your way. Going to reject my teachings subconsciously again and again not because I'm wrong, but only out of fact that I'm not sweet talking it into your ear gently, like your grandma would do. Anyway, best of luck to you and all that, sincerely, my OCD or whatever feels sated.

No insults/offense intended. Apologizing in advance for possible hurt, didn't mean to, as always.

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No offense or insults intended perhaps, but you were pretty effective at layering them on regardless!

Murder my romanticism? So basically, I should now start subscribing to the "If I like it and it has boobs, I should just bed it for lols" philosophy? Is that what you're suggesting?

Yeah, I am a romantic person. I'm also naive and completely inexperienced. I also have emotions and yeah, I'm pretty innocent.

I freely admit that...so ******* what? If that irritates you or piques your OCD or whatever, I'm sorry, but that's how I am. I don't care who that offends or rubs the wrong way, I'm not going to put on some fake bullshit macho personality to appease other people.

Another thing - how is an idea of romance less "grown up" (as you directly implied)? You know what I think is immature and childish? These people that will just have sex with anyone they find remotely attractive. People who use words like "Alpha" to classify people in their conversation. Stuff like that.

Sure, I could go out right now, drop my caring nature and probably have sex. What's the point? It'd be hollow and worthless. I certainly wouldn't feel more "adult" for ditching my values.

I want to understand the motivations behind why people do this sort of thing, because I don't get it. It's not like I disliked the attention from this girl (especially seeing as I don't get that kind of attention often at all), and yeah, I just rolled with it at the time.

Maybe you're just not as lonely as me, so you don't realise how much things like this mean to me? Who knows?

If you think I've missed your point, feel free to drop me a PM. I'm torn between whether you're actually trying to be helpful, or you just fancied a bit of a vent at someone you don't even know. I don't even get what all that "grinding" stuff was about or how it relates to anything...

jjam said:

S t r a y said:

Don't always assume flirting means someone is interested, some of us flirt for no other reason than it's fun.

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In my opinion, it is deception at that level. I wouldn't flirt with someone I wouldn't give a real chance to.

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Yeah. This for me is kind of why I have to make posts like this, because either I'm into someone or I'm not. I don't screw with people's feelings with pointless flirting, I don't see why I should just take it if other people want to mess with my feelings.

it depends on the girl
sum types would only do that if highly intrestd
others would do it n nt evn notice they were doin it
u have 2 ASSESS her type 2 know wut the intention was
does her intention evn matter tho?
u already sed she wasnt ur type

TheSolitaryMan said:

Maybe you're just not as lonely as me

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You have no idea.

But anyway, I apologize if I was rude. No one has the right to tell you how you should be. I know it's no excuse but my life wasn't exactly a pleasant experience lately, hard not to be a dick sometimes.

So yeah, and you cannot shake hands when your fist is clenched, right? Right.

You be who you wanna be, stuff is going to be sorted out for you naturally with time anyway. I was wrong to insult, if I did.


And oh yeah, that was definitely some physically flirty behavior on her part if I've ever heard of one.

I second what MM said in his first post. It's good to be a reflective person, but it's so easy to get lost or stall by over-analyzing every detail. There is a thin line between a sort of constructive and obsessive mode of reflection. I'd say that what happened meant nothing until you are sure that you can attach any deeper meaning to this girl's actions I'd try to have a chat with her first.

TheSolitaryMan, that's the definition of flirting. As in if you were to look up flirting in the dictionary, there would be a picture of a girl sneaking in a boob rub. It's probably the most sure move a lady can make. However, if she's a flirt, I wouldn't take it too seriously. Probably doesn't mean she wants to have 10,000 of your babies. Probably just means she thinks your cute and wonders how you would react. If you don't catch on right away and act on it, then she will probably tire of you very quickly and move on about things... If she's a flirt... Sounds like she may very well be a flirt... Yup...

That boob-rubbing thing could, and should be seen as flirting. Women are more than aware of what their 'fleshy appendages' are in contact with, and if they're not, you probably want to avoid those types...

Some women, however, could not care less what their boobs are coming into contact with, and will gladly shove them in your face with the utmost apathy. Those are the second kind that you may wish to avoid...

wu-wei said:

I second what MM said in his first post. It's good to be a reflective person, but it's so easy to get lost or stall by over-analyzing every detail. There is a thin line between a sort of constructive and obsessive mode of reflection. I'd say that what happened meant nothing until you are sure that you can attach any deeper meaning to this girl's actions I'd try to have a chat with her first.

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We talk quite a bit, she even waved at me the other day and I went over and spoke to her a bit. She keeps asking when I'll be in certain places, not sure why because it's not like she wants to meet up when I'm there :\

Anyway, I hold no animosity towards MM. I've hopefully sorted out any confusion via PM, and I now appreciate the gist of his post, even if sounded like I was being drubbed when I first read it!

TropicalStarfish said:

TheSolitaryMan, that's the definition of flirting. As in if you were to look up flirting in the dictionary, there would be a picture of a girl sneaking in a boob rub. It's probably the most sure move a lady can make. However, if she's a flirt, I wouldn't take it too seriously. Probably doesn't mean she wants to have 10,000 of your babies. Probably just means she thinks your cute and wonders how you would react. If you don't catch on right away and act on it, then she will probably tire of you very quickly and move on about things... If she's a flirt... Sounds like she may very well be a flirt... Yup...

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Well, to give a bit more background depth:

Around 2 months ago I was just checking out some stuff on my bench (what is it with this stuff always happening in a lab? Perhaps there's a leaking Love Gas pipe somewhere? ) when I noticed this same girl sort of staring at me from a few feet away.

When I looked over, she instantly looked down at her desk and stared at it, so I gave her a big smile...and she immediately looked up again and gave me a big smile too.

Another time, she went out of her way to tell me that I needed to sign my name on something. Instead of just saying my name, she got my attention by caressing my arm :rolleyes2:

Both were strange and nice moments, but I kind of put it out of my head until recently, when this happened.

Would a naturally "flirty" person then wait so long before acting like this again? Or talk so much afterwards?

Anyway, these are all academic points. Essentially, I'd just like to talk to people here about what constitutes flirting, what the purpose of it is and when I should read it as something more.

That's all I'm asking with these posts, I'm not trying to attach Biblical significance to someone sneakily prodding me with their boobs, I understand it could be nothing. I just want some education on it all, because I'm hopeless with this stuff

Apologies if what I am about to write has been made redundant elsewhere but from what I’m reading she’s flirting with you and you like it, no need to over think things or examine them in an insane amount of detail. No need to panic about her smoking or cursing either, heck she could give them up once she knows you’re interested in her.

Bottom Line: When are you going to ask her out then my friend?