Physical flirting

[TheSolitaryMan]

I was hoping to give her a quick hug and a "have a good Christmas" today, but unfortunately there were so many people chatting to me I got held up a bit, then I sort of chickened out of it as well :\

I think if she really liked me that way she would have come over and said something perhaps? I think she finds me physically attractive (and we do get on well when we talk), but I'm going to try not to get too carried away. If I'm learning anything, it's that 99% of girls probably do not like me that way, so I'd do well to keep that in mind

 

[Sci-Fi]

*shakes head*

I think your statistic is a bit high. Maybe she's hoping you make a move now. For god's sake this woman rested her tits on you, she's been about as forward as she can be without coming off as a slut by grabbing your junk. Women do like men to make a move and show interest. Pull the chicken out of your butt, chop off it's head, and cook it up for dinner.

Although you probably won't want to eat something you pulled out of your butt, I hope you get my metaphors.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

*shakes head*

I think your statistic is a bit high. Maybe she's hoping you make a move now. For god's sake this woman rested her tits on you, she's been about as forward as she can be without coming off as a slut by grabbing your junk. Women do like men to make a move and show interest. Pull the chicken out of your butt, chop off it's head, and cook it up for dinner.

Although you probably won't want to eat something you pulled out of your butt, I hope you get my metaphors.

Lol ^^

Well, as true as the boob-resting is...at the same time, she hasn't replied to my last message and didn't speak to me today.

So meh. I don't know, we've all been really stressed out with work, so I don't think I should put too much weight on her "missing" me.

But I doubt she's that interested. She probably just took pity and thought "I am going to angelically grant him the divine gift of boobage for once in his life, the poor soul."

Apparently lots of people from my course are hitting a club tonight. I'm not sure if I should go - she might be there, she might not be.

I'm so tired, have barely slept this week. On the other hand, I've never been out "properly" and I'd like to a lot. So I'm in two minds about it all :\

 

[Sci-Fi]

LOL Heck if more girls angelically granted the divine gift of boobage we'd all be much happier men.

My hands are pretty cold right now, any women want to rest their boobs on them? You know, just to warm them up.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

It's strange though, because you'd think a girl who is happy to prod me with her boobs and chat to me at every opportunity would sort of want to say "Bye" before a month away from me :\

I even waited for her and one of her friends after our work slot a few days back, I kind of got awkward and said "Oh, I don't really know why I'm waiting..." and she said "It's nice." I mean, that's good right? XD

I joked with her about an absolutely terrible FB photo of her a few days back, perhaps I offended her? She seemed quite happy at the time though.

I can totally see me worrying about this all over Christmas now

And it's a shame, but I'm going to have 0 female contact over that time. Which makes any lonely feelings considerably more intense. Yes Sci-Fi, I think we can all agree that the divine gift of boobage should be spread around more for the good of all humanity

 

[passage]

I would say anything physical that isn't purely accidental, or necessary (ie, grade school dancing) should be seen as flirting. Doesn't necessarily mean she likes you though. I flirt with girls I have no interest in (but at least I do it more for experimentation and learning).

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Well, she didn't reply to my last message. Nonetheless I felt the need to just wish her a happy Christmas (as I did to everyone else on the course).

Then she seems to have ignored that too, since she posted up 2 hours later that she's got a surgical trip to the dentist

I'd normally say something encouraging to anyone else about that, but I have a feeling if I say something like "Hope it goes well" she'll think I'm stalking her or something. Should I just forget being friendly like that?

I don't think her flirting meant anything I guess. But at the same time she did seem really keen on talking to me. The previous term she was coming right across the room to start conversations with me, which seemed odd at the time. Just kinda baffled as to why she's less interested in chatting now that I'm showing attention.

But ah well, I won't see her for a month anyway, we shall see how she is when the next semester begins :\

 

[Sci-Fi]

Maybe she's the kind of woman who likes the chase. Who knows, they are such a confusing sex. She might have gotten offended by the comment you made on her photo, that's one thing you shouldn't do even if she says it's bad and hates it. A guys job is to point out the positive things, like when a woman asks if her butt looks big in a certain pair of jeans, you never, NEVER say yes, no matter how gigantic they make it look. LOL I don't care how many women say they like a guy to be honest, there are certain things you can't be honest about. You'll either get smacked, or even worse, kicked in the nuts.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Maybe she's the kind of woman who likes the chase. Who knows, they are such a confusing sex. She might have gotten offended by the comment you made on her photo, that's one thing you shouldn't do even if she says it's bad and hates it. A guys job is to point out the positive things, like when a woman asks if her butt looks big in a certain pair of jeans, you never, NEVER say yes, no matter how gigantic they make it look. LOL I don't care how many women say they like a guy to be honest, there are certain things you can't be honest about. You'll either get smacked, or even worse, kicked in the nuts.

Lol...I think the photo comment could have been it. I feel like a bit of a twit now for saying what I did, althought I was obviously joking/friendly about it and she even "lol'd" at my response :\

I commented on her dentist thing because I felt bad just ignoring it. Regretting that now too

Gah, I probably look like a creep. This is exactly the reason I really don't like trying to get to know girls better, they seem to really want me to make an effort one minute then just go deadly silent the next...

 

[Nolife Princess]

Just a quick, simple question. What are the typical signs that a girl is flirting physically, as opposed to just being clumsy?

I mean, is there a specific level of contact in general? Is it usually made obvious or kept hard-to-detect-subtle?

I was working with a girl today and she seemed to be getting quite close to me. At one point she was stood in front of me chatting and she kind of let her hands just sit against mine, back to back, for a good five or so seconds.

Then, when I was reaching across the table to pick up some stuff, she seemed to sort of lean in towards me a tiny bit so that her...err...exclusive lady components were in contact with my arm. She stayed like that for a little bit while we talked. So that surprised me a bit.

I'm not sure she's my type of girl (she's very pretty and seems all around nice, but also smokes and does tend to curse rather a lot!), but I'd just like to know if that kind of thing is just typical clumsy behaviour or if it's actually kind of unusual for a girl to put those kinds of body parts in contact with someone she's indifferent to :\

Well, if she is like me.. I am just do things because I am a free type spirit... if I am talking to someone be it male or female, I tend to touch, hands or maybe arm, or whatever, I am also a hugger.. so I may out of the blue laugh, touch, then hugg at once! (
I am a talkative and busy kinda gal, and rambunctious about everything.. I just like to be into who I am speaking with.. thats just me, but I have been told I have a flirty type personality so that maybe why I am a touchy, feely, huggy, happy, laughing giggly gal

 

[passage]

Why not try meeting her if you're both in the same city for the holidys?

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Why not try meeting her if you're both in the same city for the holidys?

I don't know her number

Plus since she hasn't replied to my messages yet, I don't want to push things. I'm just going to assume she's not interested I think.

Thank you for the idea though

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Interesting thing happened regarding this lady.

The girl hasn't replied to my message (just wishing a good Christmas, etc.), which is fair enough. I've not really thought of it much.

However, today I was reminded of it when she posted on her FB that she is temporarily deactivating her account. She then said something like "I've been unable to reply recently. If anyone was thinking of getting in touch over the holidays, use my mobile."

Her friends seemed quite confused over this remark and commented on it. Seems sort of weird to me too. I really doubt she means me when she says "anyone", but it just seems like an odd thing to post up. Ah well.

I'm kind of happy her friends also mentioned that she hasn't replied to them either. So at least she hasn't suddenly decided I'm harassing her or something

*Sigh*

Classic TSM behaviour. Fretting over a girl I'm never going to ask out. What a pillock.

 

[passage]

Interesting thing happened regarding this lady.

The girl hasn't replied to my message (just wishing a good Christmas, etc.), which is fair enough. I've not really thought of it much.

However, today I was reminded of it when she posted on her FB that she is temporarily deactivating her account. She then said something like "I've been unable to reply recently. If anyone was thinking of getting in touch over the holidays, use my mobile."

Her friends seemed quite confused over this remark and commented on it. Seems sort of weird to me too. I really doubt she means me when she says "anyone", but it just seems like an odd thing to post up. Ah well.

I'm kind of happy her friends also mentioned that she hasn't replied to them either. So at least she hasn't suddenly decided I'm harassing her or something

*Sigh*

Classic TSM behaviour. Fretting over a girl I'm never going to ask out. What a pillock.

Its funny (if I understood you correctly) that in your original post, you said you werent sure if you liked her or were going to ask her out, but now that shes "gone" you are troubling yourself over her. My suggestion is use this as an experiment, flirt back the next time you see her. You seem fairly rational, so I assume you wont think you're in love with her if she reciprocates. Do something "over the edge". How "edgy" you are depends on the potential consequences of course.

Now I'm not trying to brag here, but I was in a similar situation, debating whether or not I liked an international student from China(however my goals are different, I'm looking to rack up sexual experience). I figured she liked me, cuase she was flirting, but I hardly talked to her, maybe 3-4 times for no longer than 5 minutes. Anyway, one day in class I wrote in my notebook a question for her (Does your friend think I'm gay, I had made a joke about it during the break). She answered "maybe, are you"? At that moment, I thought about doing something "over the edge" (sorry for my lack of good words, I'm drawing blanks). i wrote back "I like penis, do you?". To make a long story short (turns out shes a lesbian, with no experience with guys, and recently broken up, and looking to experiment with guys), within 20 minutes of class finishing we were in my apartment...etc.

My key points here are that
#1- I experimented. I did something I wouldn't normally do (being explicitly sexual, and leading)
#2- I didn't really care much about the outcome, the consequences were being labelled a creep/weird or rejection, but fresia I'm a loner here (I'm abroad for 1 semester) anyway
#3 - It was like an adventure, afterwords I couldnt really believe that happened, and all of it started with a simple question
#4 - this was a really fun(ny) adventure, that I will remember, and use as motivation to try to make my life a little better

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Interesting thing happened regarding this lady.

The girl hasn't replied to my message (just wishing a good Christmas, etc.), which is fair enough. I've not really thought of it much.

However, today I was reminded of it when she posted on her FB that she is temporarily deactivating her account. She then said something like "I've been unable to reply recently. If anyone was thinking of getting in touch over the holidays, use my mobile."

Her friends seemed quite confused over this remark and commented on it. Seems sort of weird to me too. I really doubt she means me when she says "anyone", but it just seems like an odd thing to post up. Ah well.

I'm kind of happy her friends also mentioned that she hasn't replied to them either. So at least she hasn't suddenly decided I'm harassing her or something

*Sigh*

Classic TSM behaviour. Fretting over a girl I'm never going to ask out. What a pillock.

Its funny (if I understood you correctly) that in your original post, you said you werent sure if you liked her or were going to ask her out, but now that shes "gone" you are troubling yourself over her. My suggestion is use this as an experiment, flirt back the next time you see her. You seem fairly rational, so I assume you wont think you're in love with her if she reciprocates. Do something "over the edge". How "edgy" you are depends on the potential consequences of course.

Now I'm not trying to brag here, but I was in a similar situation, debating whether or not I liked an international student from China(however my goals are different, I'm looking to rack up sexual experience). I figured she liked me, cuase she was flirting, but I hardly talked to her, maybe 3-4 times for no longer than 5 minutes. Anyway, one day in class I wrote in my notebook a question for her (Does your friend think I'm gay, I had made a joke about it during the break). She answered "maybe, are you"? At that moment, I thought about doing something "over the edge" (sorry for my lack of good words, I'm drawing blanks). i wrote back "I like penis, do you?". To make a long story short (turns out shes a lesbian, with no experience with guys, and recently broken up, and looking to experiment with guys), within 20 minutes of class finishing we were in my apartment...etc.

My key points here are that
#1- I experimented. I did something I wouldn't normally do (being explicitly sexual, and leading)
#2- I didn't really care much about the outcome, the consequences were being labelled a creep/weird or rejection, but fresia I'm a loner here (I'm abroad for 1 semester) anyway
#3 - It was like an adventure, afterwords I couldnt really believe that happened, and all of it started with a simple question
#4 - this was a really fun(ny) adventure, that I will remember, and use as motivation to try to make my life a little better

That's quite an interesting tale there, Passage. I can safely say that "I like penis, do you?" is probably the last thing I would ever think of saying to a girl while flirting! Which explains my overall lack of romantic success I suppose, lol

Ehh, I guess I just get attached to people easily, which puts me off that kind of flirting. I'd feel bad if I hurt the girl's emotions or made her feel cheap. Even if she wants me to flirt like that, I'd feel like a jerk and so I don't do it

I mean, I'm rational enough I suppose. But at the same time if she did reciprocate I'd probably get myself far too involved in it all and it'd end badly...

Plus you mentioned having an apartment. I think that's one thing that must help to give some confidence to approaching girls, because you have somewhere that is your own private space to spend time with them (not neccessarily sexually, just for meals and movie dates perhaps). Living with my parents doesn't really give me that freedom to flirt I don't think.

Sorry to sound so negative, I'm just trying to work these things out in my mind I suppose.

 

[kinzeUK]

Just a quick, simple question. What are the typical signs that a girl is flirting physically, as opposed to just being clumsy?

I'm sorry, but all I could think of then was some kind of wacky scenario involving her slipping up and throwing like a tray of drinks or something then clutching on to someone falling over and sending them crashing into things.

Yes, anyways.

I haven't read past page 1 of the replies etc but from what I did read, I'd say as a total non-expert on women and the subtle and not so subtle art of flirting, that she is interested with a capital "I".

As this post is nearly a month old, I am just wondering what the general upshot of all of this so far?

 

[Ak5]

Doesn't matter Solitary, to her place!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Just a quick, simple question. What are the typical signs that a girl is flirting physically, as opposed to just being clumsy?

I'm sorry, but all I could think of then was some kind of wacky scenario involving her slipping up and throwing like a tray of drinks or something then clutching on to someone falling over and sending them crashing into things.

Yes, anyways.

I haven't read past page 1 of the replies etc but from what I did read, I'd say as a total non-expert on women and the subtle and not so subtle art of flirting, that she is interested with a capital "I".

As this post is nearly a month old, I am just wondering what the general upshot of all of this so far?

Ah, nothing as usual! She started with that flirtiness right before a month break from work, so I won't be seeing her at all for another week or two. Now there's a girl from my past that seems interested in me and I'm totally at a loss for what to do

Doesn't matter Solitary, to her place!

Thanks for the sentiment AK

Unfortunately the logistical issue of deciding whose accomodation is most convenient to snog in is currently pretty far from my worries right now!

 

[blackdot]

Physical things are what gets me in trouble. I have a bad habit of misinterpreting signals women send. ANYTHING that can be taken as a sign of affection is very dangerous around me.
Some women are the hugging types. They love to hug friends when they meet. It's their equivalent to a hand shake. To my mind though, it's much more. Heck, even a female telling me hello and having a conversation is dangerous. I will immediately take it as a sign of being interested in me.
Multiple females I have known have been scared off because I take a simple act like communication or hugging and misinterpret into a sign of affection. At some point I will make the mistake of asking them out or mentioning I like them and the horror show begins. They quickly disappear.

I'm running into that problem right now. Cute female that I like but is much younger than I am has been acting "affectionate" around me. My brain has naturally locked onto it and keeps hoping for something more. I am doing everything I can to anchor myself back down knowing the depression I'll end up in once she figures it out.
What makes it worse is that at some point in a conversation, these women will make a reference to relationships and I'll mention my struggles in finding someone. They will tell me I'm cute or that I shouldn't have an issue finding anyone since I'm a great guy. At that point I'll find the courage to say how I feel about them and you can see the horror in their face.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Heh, funny this thread of mine is back. The girl that was flirting with me here is also the one who recently treated me really poorly at work in my thread in the "Loneliness" section.

I guess I'm happy now that I never went out with her. Stupid thing is that a silly part of me still likes her and wishes we'd got together, even though it'd clearly hurt me a lot given how she is. I guess I'm more of a mug than I thought

At that point I'll find the courage to say how I feel about them and you can see the horror in their face.

Could be how you say it, perhaps? I mean, do you gush out your affection for them or are you more restrained? Restrained is better I think.

But who am I to give advice?

I'm afraid girls are an utter mystery to me too. A mystery I've mulled over for ages. They either seek to just get me into bed without actually caring about me (as with this girl from work, thank God it didn't turn out that way) or give me totally mixed signals that make asking them out impossible.

Right now I'm meeting a girl every week. She's really sweet and kind, and she's shared some really heartwarming phone calls with me. Last week, she just left after we met up without even bothering to say goodbye (perhaps because I was talking with her friend, but I'm not at all sure).

About 2 weeks ago I went to a party. This girl asked for a hug at the end of it, so I obliged in friendly fashion. She proceeded to basically snuggle as close to me as she could and held on for ages. Does that means she likes me? No, because that stuff never means anything. I just took it as meaning she wanted to be close to a guy at that moment I guess.

So...yeah. It pains me to say it, but I'm just trying to forget about girls for a while. I need to study, and every time I try to get myself a girlfriend I just open myself up to getting hurt by someone's thoughtlessness.