First off, just discovered this forum by chance and finding it incredibly helpful - if for no other reason than knowing there are other guys out there who have the same hang-ups I do.
Anyways, long story short I have literally no confidence when I like a girl. (I'm fine round the ones I don't). If I'm in a club and they ask to dance I usually just say I can't or don't dance (I actually can't dance worth a toss but neither can 90% of people in clubs).
If I'm texting or chatting to a girl I like I'll avoid ever saying anything flirty or sexual in case they realise my intentions, even though I know this just leads me straight into the friend zone.
This does extend to sexual anxiety as well, the thought in my head that the next time I take a girl home it'll just end in disappointment for her (even though that's never happened to me before).
The annoying thing is, I don't really have massive self-esteem issues. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I know I'm a decent looking guy. I've been told often enough before. I also play guitar in a band and frequently play/sing in front of hundreds of strangers without even batting an eyelid.
I'm a very confident musician and as a result often get attention from girls immediately after coming off stage, this usually results in my being awkwardly friendly for a minute or two, then making my excuses and shooting off to talk with my friends where I feel more comfortable.
I honestly don't know what's up with me, it's like I know there's absolutely no reason for me to be so shy, but I just am and I can't change it!
Any advice would be appreciated!
Cheers!
Anyways, long story short I have literally no confidence when I like a girl. (I'm fine round the ones I don't). If I'm in a club and they ask to dance I usually just say I can't or don't dance (I actually can't dance worth a toss but neither can 90% of people in clubs).
If I'm texting or chatting to a girl I like I'll avoid ever saying anything flirty or sexual in case they realise my intentions, even though I know this just leads me straight into the friend zone.
This does extend to sexual anxiety as well, the thought in my head that the next time I take a girl home it'll just end in disappointment for her (even though that's never happened to me before).
The annoying thing is, I don't really have massive self-esteem issues. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I know I'm a decent looking guy. I've been told often enough before. I also play guitar in a band and frequently play/sing in front of hundreds of strangers without even batting an eyelid.
I'm a very confident musician and as a result often get attention from girls immediately after coming off stage, this usually results in my being awkwardly friendly for a minute or two, then making my excuses and shooting off to talk with my friends where I feel more comfortable.
I honestly don't know what's up with me, it's like I know there's absolutely no reason for me to be so shy, but I just am and I can't change it!
Any advice would be appreciated!
Cheers!