Living In Two Separate Worlds

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solitudeinside

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Hey Everyone,

I feel like I'm living in two separate worlds... The first--the "real" world--is where some know my face, my name, and some generic facts about me... The second--my world--is where I actually live. Things here are quiet, safe, dark, and yes...lonely. The walls that I've built to protect my world are strong and high. Yes, they do well at keeping me safe (most of the time), but they also keep me alone. At times, my world is a refuge, and at times, it is a prison. It is a "double-edged sword", so to speak. It seems I can only interact with other humans beings in the "real" world... Yet, my world is where I exist as the real me... I ache for another human being to "get" me and understand why I am who I am, and appreciate me for that. I long for someone to take an interest in me because they care, not because I asked... I wish someone wanted to know all my aspirations and dreams. That's all.

Can anyone relate? Thoughts?
 
Yes. But do you think there is anything in particular in your case that causes the barrier between these two worlds to be as strong as it? If you don't mind me asking of course.

And feel free to tell us about your dreams and aspirations, it may not compare to having someone in real life want to get you but it might help all the same.
 
I can relate to an extent. It seems like the wo worlds I live in are not only different but contradictory. And I dont let people inside my 'real world' so..

I hope that you will find someone who will find a way to know the real you.
Good luck
 
Drama said:
I can relate to an extent. It seems like the wo worlds I live in are not only different but contradictory. And I dont let people inside my 'real world' so..

I hope that you will find someone who will find a way to know the real you.
Good luck

Funny you should say that, I find even the world within in myself to be very contradictory. I am working towards resolving some of the cognitive dissonance though.
 
Stonelands said:
Funny you should say that, I find even the world within in myself to be very contradictory. I am working towards resolving some of the cognitive dissonance though.
I know what you mean...
You consider the contradictions within yourself as an anomaly which you have to get rid of?
 
Drama said:
Stonelands said:
Funny you should say that, I find even the world within in myself to be very contradictory. I am working towards resolving some of the cognitive dissonance though.
I know what you mean...
You consider the contradictions within yourself as an anomaly which you have to get rid of?

Yes, that more or less sums it up.
 
Stonelands said:
Yes. But do you think there is anything in particular in your case that causes the barrier between these two worlds to be as strong as it? If you don't mind me asking of course.

And feel free to tell us about your dreams and aspirations, it may not compare to having someone in real life want to get you but it might help all the same.

I don't mind. And the answer is yes. These barriers aren't caused by just one thing, but many different factors. I think many of them just come with my personality: social anxiety, shyness, etc... Sometimes the anxiety is literally paralyzing, and I fear rejection too.

It's not always bad to have barriers, because I don't always mind being alone. I think I have subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) put up barriers to filter out the people who aren't genuine because I've been burned before. Maybe I should just learn to cope better? I'm learning to be more confident in myself, but I have a quite a way to go yet.

It is frustrating because I'm pretty sure I'm a generally agreeable person, but very few seem to notice. And I have such difficulty putting myself out there, because I fear rejection, criticism, etc. It's not that I'm too sensitive, I just need to find a way to use that trait in a positive way...


Drama said:
It seems like the wo worlds I live in are not only different but contradictory. And I dont let people inside my 'real world' so..

I hope that you will find someone who will find a way to know the real you.
Good luck

Thank you. Can you explain what you mean by "contradictory"? How do they contradict, if I may ask..?
 
Stonelands said:
What are your interests? I play guitar and I find that that can occasionally help in breaking barriers with people from time to time.

See my profile... PM if you want more details.
 
Stonelands said:
Drama said:
Stonelands said:
Funny you should say that, I find even the world within in myself to be very contradictory. I am working towards resolving some of the cognitive dissonance though.
I know what you mean...
You consider the contradictions within yourself as an anomaly which you have to get rid of?

Yes, that more or less sums it up.

I must disagree with you here.
Yes, you have to improve yourself to become a better person, and try to get rid of their negative treats that may hide what's beautiful in you, but imo you shouldnt change things that make you who you are. Contraditions arent always bad. It's part of who you are. You should just try to control them. Dont you think that you'd feel kind of... alienated if you try to become someone you're not?


solitudeinside said:
Drama said:
It seems like the wo worlds I live in are not only different but contradictory. And I dont let people inside my 'real world' so..

I hope that you will find someone who will find a way to know the real you.
Good luck

Thank you. Can you explain what you mean by "contradictory"? How do they contradict, if I may ask..?
That's a good question lol but I dont know if I have an answer. It's like if there is 'two me'. I dont believe that I suffer from double personality disorder. I'm very impulsive in my actions. Sometimes I'd say the contrary to what I think, not because I want to lie, but because it seems the right thing to do.. if that makes sense. Sometimes, i am happy but seem sad and vice versa. Really, I do not know how to explain it. It's like I dont even make sense for myself lol
Is that familiar to you?


solitudeinside said:
I don't mind. And the answer is yes. These barriers aren't caused by just one thing, but many different factors. I think many of them just come with my personality: social anxiety, shyness, etc... Sometimes the anxiety is literally paralyzing, and I fear rejection too.

It's not always bad to have barriers, because I don't always mind being alone. I think I have subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) put up barriers to filter out the people who aren't genuine because I've been burned before. Maybe I should just learn to cope better? I'm learning to be more confident in myself, but I have a quite a way to go yet.

It is frustrating because I'm pretty sure I'm a generally agreeable person, but very few seem to notice. And I have such difficulty putting myself out there, because I fear rejection, criticism, etc. It's not that I'm too sensitive, I just need to find a way to use that trait in a positive way...
It seems to me that you're biggest issue is the fear of how the other would react to you?
My advice was and will always be to practice being socially active. And to be there as who you are and not as how others will like you, judge you, criticise you etc. I've noticed that getting rid of that fear needs confidence and you get confidence when you feel that you're successful. why dont you pick something that you're good at and try to excel in it, idk it varries from a subject in school to gardening, whatever lol. and see if it makes you feel like you're valuable because of the knowledge you gained from it. You could try this as an experiment?
 
Wow, I can relate to every single thing in that post.
Only one more thing to add, it itches so badly for the other human to get in this world though that's only possible if I lure them.
If you're weird, some may get curious.

Maybe in my case there are three worlds, real world, my world, internet world.
Though since the real and internet world are really related it is two worlds.
 
Drama said:
Yes, you have to improve yourself to become a better person, and try to get rid of their negative treats that may hide what's beautiful in you, but imo you shouldnt change things that make you who you are. Contraditions arent always bad. It's part of who you are. You should just try to control them. Dont you think that you'd feel kind of... alienated if you try to become someone you're not?
solitudeinside said:
Thank you. Can you explain what you mean by "contradictory"? How do they contradict, if I may ask..?
That's a good question lol but I dont know if I have an answer. It's like if there is 'two me'. I dont believe that I suffer from double personality disorder. I'm very impulsive in my actions. Sometimes I'd say the contrary to what I think, not because I want to lie, but because it seems the right thing to do.. if that makes sense. Sometimes, i am happy but seem sad and vice versa. Really, I do not know how to explain it. It's like I dont even make sense for myself lol
Is that familiar to you?



RE: Yes, That is familiar to an extent. I'm not as impulsive, but I understand what you're saying quite well.


It seems to me that you're biggest issue is the fear of how the other would react to you?
My advice was and will always be to practice being socially active. And to be there as who you are and not as how others will like you, judge you, criticise you etc. I've noticed that getting rid of that fear needs confidence and you get confidence when you feel that you're successful. why dont you pick something that you're good at and try to excel in it, idk it varries from a subject in school to gardening, whatever lol. and see if it makes you feel like you're valuable because of the knowledge you gained from it. You could try this as an experiment?
[/quote]

RE: That is a big part of it, I'm afraid... I've already been doing that, and I think things are getting somewhat better. I get bogged down, though. Thanks for the advice!


Camper said:
Wow, I can relate to every single thing in that post.
Only one more thing to add, it itches so badly for the other human to get in this world though that's only possible if I lure them.
If you're weird, some may get curious.

Maybe in my case there are three worlds, real world, my world, internet world.
Though since the real and internet world are really related it is two worlds.

Glad I'm not alone! It's encouraging that someone else can relate. "If you're weird, some may get curious." <---- Wow. That statement is SO true for me... Exactly the way I think sometimes. I feel like it never happens, though. It takes a special person to see the person "underneath". It get's frustrating for me when that person never seems to show up. I don't think it's good to change one's self just to be accepted by others, though... It's a shallow reason and will only leave you empty in my opinion. But now, I'm rambling...


Tiina63 said:
I relate to you completely.

Thanks for chiming in! The knowledge that others experience this makes me feel less lonely already, hah...
 
Personally I think everyone has two different worlds that they occupy, but how different each world is from one another varies between each person. Also, how willing the person is to allow someone into their more personal world will be different for each individual. For example, someone with interests, hobbies, or ideas that are more accepted and approved of by society in general will be more willing to share their personal world with people.
For me, the things I like and the way I like them make it hard for me to be secure when it comes to introducing someone to my personal world. I either feel my personal world is too strange for someone or doesn't interest them. Even my closest friends don't have a full view or idea of what my personal world is like. I tend to only show the parts that might pertain to them and their interests, and I guess that's what makes me lonely.
Whether anything I just said is true or not, I don't know, just my opinion.
 
consmap said:
"...For example, someone with interests, hobbies, or ideas that are more accepted and approved of by society in general will be more willing to share their personal world with people.
For me, the things I like and the way I like them make it hard for me to be secure when it comes to introducing someone to my personal world. I either feel my personal world is too strange for someone or doesn't interest them. Even my closest friends don't have a full view or idea of what my personal world is like. I tend to only show the parts that might pertain to them and their interests, and I guess that's what makes me lonely..."

Stop reading my mind! ;) What you're saying is far more than opinion. It's exactly how I feel.
 
Yes, I can put on a face that some people can even like, but what I really think and feel has to be safely buried away because no one would want to hear such things. So it's never really me.
 
Vicente Guedes said:
Yes, I can put on a face that some people can even like, but what I really think and feel has to be safely buried away because no one would want to hear such things. So it's never really me.

I can identify with this also. I'm learning slowly that overcoming loneliness requires some risk on the part of the lonely. We have to find a way to put ourselves "out there", and just hope that the world isn't as cold as it seems. I think, at times this results in further loneliness, and sometimes it has good results... But we have to keep trying despite the discomfort and hurt, because there are good people out there... It's just a matter of finding them.
 
There is nothing unusual about living in 2 or even more worlds at the same time. In philosophy of language it's called 'multiple-worlds semantics'; in logic there is 'modality' or simply 'modal logic'; in quantum mechanics/physics it's a matter of observation. What you are doing is, usually subconsciously, interpreting yourself through different angles and these angles are, indeed, different worlds. This multiplicity gives you some necessary perspective in decision making, whether you're aware of it or not. Btw, being alone has nothing to do with it: even in a great relationship you would feel the necessity of 'staying' in different worlds!
 
Socrates said:
There is nothing unusual about living in 2 or even more worlds at the same time. In philosophy of language it's called 'multiple-worlds semantics'; in logic there is 'modality' or simply 'modal logic'; in quantum mechanics/physics it's a matter of observation. What you are doing is, usually subconsciously, interpreting yourself through different angles and these angles are, indeed, different worlds. This multiplicity gives you some necessary perspective in decision making, whether you're aware of it or not. Btw, being alone has nothing to do with it: even in a great relationship you would feel the necessity of 'staying' in different worlds!

This is an interesting philosophical perspective and I enjoyed reading your comment. Thank you!
 

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