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Triggered by coworkers bragging about ghosting people...lots of triggers...
#1
I've been triggered for the past while because my coworkers have been talking casually about ghosting certain "friends". They are more than glad to tell me why but IMO the reasons are not substantive enough to me. One coworker has been friends with someone since jr high and feels that the friend doesn't fit into her new life anymore (she's in a relationship, that friend is not etc.). So she's just going to ghost her. 

When I asked if there was something wrong that she did or maybe they can talk; coworker said it's not worth it. She's got plenty of other friends.

This triggered me because I'm that person that gets ghosted all of the time. The worst part is that ghosters do not make it clear that they don't want to be your friend. What they do essentially is that they "fade away". So they'll answer 75% of your texts...then 50%...then less and less. I was epically ghosted by a girl and stood up like 7 times. She would become very friendly and then disappear. Repeat and repeat. I was confused at the time, but now I realize her whole plan was to ghost me all along. Whereas I simply believed her endless reasons of "last-minute conflicts" coming up. I become very angry when I think of her because I now realize that she's become good friends with a popular girl that hates me (I didn't do anything...I've been super nice etc but she says I'm too weird and purposely would exclude me from everything or ask people to stay away from me or badmouth me. Btw, this "friend" of mine did not even defend me but instead just listened to the badmouthing).

This is such a trigger for me because I've been abandoned by so many people all of my life. I'm overlooked and excluded. At 18 I started working very hard and now I'm almost 30 and nothing has changed. 



***Warning: Possible trigger for some readers...***
By a miracle I met my hubby...but if I hadn't, I think I would have offed myself. I was truly in a dark and horrible abusive place and had suicidal thoughts all of the time. Even though I have him I still have this longing for friends that I've had all of my life. Sad



I've tried so many different methods...really putting in heavy efforts and also drawing back etc. I feel like...I don't think I'll ever have true friends. Are people so fake? Or am I soooo unlikeable and simply don't interest people enough to share a friendship? Sad
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#2
People are cowards. Afraid of being uncomfortable and shying away from confrontation. Sadly its normal to "ghost" folks nowadays. Just a bunch of fake fucks.
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#3
Hey Kamya.
I hate people too.
I hate confrontation too but if this is how these people handle issues...how will they handle work? Family issues? etc. They can't just "ghost" every issue or every relationship like that. It's so irresponsible.

Also, said coworker was busying showing off all her pics with her countless other friends. It's so unfair how these popular folks take others for granted.
It just pisses me off. I also struggle with reading between the lines (hence how I got stood up 7+ times and kept thinking this "friend" was a friend). I feel so embarrassed and foolish. She's probably laughing her ass off.
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#4
(11-02-2016, 02:13 PM)kamya Wrote: People are cowards. Afraid of being uncomfortable and shying away from confrontation. Sadly its normal to "ghost" folks nowadays. Just a bunch of fake fucks.

+1
The nice thing about getting older (I mean 40+ ) is that it's so much easier to spot the fakes and weed them out. Who needs 1,000 "friends" on social media? I certainly don't. Someone who ghosts you wasn't your friend to begin with, sorry to say.
I have a few close friends and life is so much better that way.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.
-WB Yeats
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#5
Ditching someone for being single... yeah I'm triggered by this superficial joke of person. Consider whether you want anything more to do with these coworkers.
And no there's probably nothing wrong with you, a lot of people are just like this.
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#6
Actually at work it's difficult to keep a good relation with colleagues, when you talk to them sincerely always they find weak sides to use them against you, and tell others all your intimity. They always find something, analyse you as a laboratory rat, and if you are naive, they will try to show you off as the criticism focus at work place.
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#7
I don't know what ghosting is.

Do you have to call an exorcist to get rid of them?
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#8
People really do suck. I've been ghosted by so many "friends" over the past couple of years. Yet when I do run into them on the very rare occasion, they're all smiling and hugging and "it's SO good to see you again, it's been ages!" Yeah, it's been ages because I no longer fit into your new clique of friends and you couldn't care less about me, you fake bitch.
* * *  If I sound bitter, it's because I am   * * * 
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#9
Have you done any individual counseling for the issues you mention in your original post?
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#10
Please tell me what ghosting means? I'm having a hard time understanding the meaning.
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