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Totally unsupportive family
#11
(12-19-2016, 09:29 PM)Lacrecia Wrote: can i be your younger sister? but i warn you, I'd bully you Big Grin

It's so nice from you, always wanted to have a sister :-) I'm not good for bullying though - I'm big and bearded.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
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#12
(12-20-2016, 05:32 AM)Augusto Wrote:
(12-19-2016, 09:29 PM)Lacrecia Wrote: can i be your younger sister? but i warn you, I'd bully you Big Grin

It's so nice from you, always wanted to have a sister :-) I'm not good for bullying though - I'm big and bearded.

One of my brothers (he's six years older than me) is big and bearded, and i bully him. He bullies me too tho so i get more on the defensive lol
______________________

So the Angel said: 'Thy phantasy has imposed upon me
& thou oughtest to be ashamed.'
I answer'd: 'We impose on one another ,
& it is but lost time to converse with you
whose works are only Analytics.'


Opposition is True Friendship
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#13
I look at it as a whole picture. I know my family had a difficult life, the hardships they have gone through and what they still have to deal with. If me and my family feel distant, it's because of what has been taking place in our lives. It's not my family's fault. It's all how the life has been.

Having support is great. There are friendly and awesome people who would sincerely support us, whether they are family or friends. I'm grateful to these people when I have them in my life. But I have to be tough and know how to do well on my own. For that, I can only rely on myself.

I think of a time that I may not have my family, a time they may not exist anymore. I'll be on my own and should know how to take care of my life by myself. Today is the time I got to prepare for it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll always get you the right ones” John Lennon
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#14
Augusto,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is so unsupportive. I lived with a toxic family member for many years. I finally cut her off 2 months ago and a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. You might have to do that if they are damaging your health.

I have other family members that I don't connect with but I am able to cooperate with them as long as I see them infrequently. If I saw them a lot it would strain the relationship. Sometimes distance makes you feel closer.

It's up to you to decide how to approach it because you know yourself and family better than the rest of us.
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#15
I think when you are from a family that is in anyway disfunctional it's important to keep your distance from those who hurt you & make sure you keep shielded from them when in range. Then you can spend your time focussing on yourself & your goals without allowing any grief or pain to hold you back.
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#16
Thanks, guys. Today got another arguing from them - I was totally correct and polite, yet they are now mad as hell and angry. They really never gonna accept my personality - no one of relatives.

I really need somehow to cut them off my life. But it's complicated - I mean, I know them for 30 years, and it's never that easy to just disconnect from people who you know for a long and share a lot in the past.

RadioMan, what do you mean about being shielded while in range? How is it possible?
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
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#17
It seems impossible, but afterwards you'll be relieved of that horrible feeling and that will make it not only worth it but much easier.
"Being young and dipped in folly I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
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#18
Can I ask a few questions? You are 30? If they WERE supportive, what would that look like to you specifically? What concretely would they do that would be a show of support that is tangible? In the reverse, you are an adult, what have you done likewise to be supportive of them as well?
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#19
From what I've gleaned, the OP is just looking for some basic decency and a touch of respect and courtesy.
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#20
(12-25-2016, 11:01 PM)dd11 Wrote: Can I ask a few questions?  You are 30?  If they WERE supportive, what would that look like to you specifically?  What concretely would they do that would be a show of support that is tangible?  In the reverse, you are an adult, what have you done likewise to be supportive of them as well?

Ideally they won't be criticizing everything that I do, that I think and that I say, while praising everybody else around. It's hard to talk to people who always try to find flaws in you and virtues in others.

That's what I call being unsupportive. When I have hard period in life they will say something like "Jack from next house did okay in this situation, and you can't solve it, because, let's face it, you are not suited for real life". Almost direct quote of what I heard hundreds times already.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
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