Questions for the Men

... what's the right answer?

ardour said:

... what's the right answer?

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The honest answer. 

Thank you guys. 

Richard_39 said:

I dislike it in some areas. Others not as much, as long as it's kept trimmed. But I have to admit I'd feel akwarddating someone with more armpit hair or a bigger stache than mine.

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This pretty much.

On female body hair:
I prefer furry pits and full bush, but I'm fine with however she wants to do it. Anywhere else (legs, face, etc) is fine with me, also... but I lean non-commitally to "no" on these. Again, whatever works for her is fine. If she's secure enough with herself to cack razors, makeup and beauty shops altogether, it could only add to my admiration.

It's been since the mid 90s since I dated anyone, but I had a lot of relationships in the years prior, and I felt the same way. I imagine I've only become less interested in looks as I hit middle age. I just want a nice woman who's good company. Life is too short to spend it in front of the mirror.

On the matter of what makes someone a man:

As a product of my generation, I'll say a man is self-guided, honorable and true to his word. Sexual preferences don't come into play, nor do masculine/feminine affectations. Character marks the difference between 'boy' and 'man' and we all know a lot of guys who never manage to achieve it.

And biologically, you need the 'Y' chromosome. The legal, medical and social implications demand a hard 'yes/no' rather than some vaguely shifting line that varies from person to person. It's Reality-- not "hate".

Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman? Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

Bored said:

Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman?  Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

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For me, it depends on what I am seeking. Different goals, different preferences.


But men in general find feminine women more attractive. And it doesn't mean women wearing makeup. It is reflected in her qualities and behavior.

Bored said:

. . . . Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

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Heck no.   Girl can't go fishin' dressed like THAT!

:club:

Bored said:

Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman?  Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

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No. 

Simple answer really.

Where are my keys?

Exactly where you left them.

Thanks honey ;-P

Bored Wrote:
Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman? Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

Q: Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men.

1. That's because that's how it typically works out at least in the short term. The small percentage of attractive stereotypical masculine men, "hot guys or Chads", date lots of the average looking women on whatever dating site. When I say date I really mean pump and dump. Then those women believe that they are attractive enough to always get the hot guy. So, they ignore the average and below average looking men like myself. I scored a 4 out of 10 on the HotorNot site after several hundred responses. Ha! ha! Then those women say that all guys want is sex and men don't want commitments. Well, the hot guys don't. The women call men pigs, etc, etc, etc. When they really should be saying hot guys are pigs, etc, etc, etc.  But, we, less attractive guys do look for more then a pump and dump situation unless we could make it to the hot guy situation. Then all bets are off. Ha! ha! But, we, ugly guys, aren't given the opportunity on the dating sites. I guess I shouldn't say "we" because I gave up on all of that non-sense a decade ago. Dating and relationships are just not worth all the game playing and effort. I'm just into the forums. But, I guess that's kind of like saying I get Playboy for the articles. Ha! ha!

Q: Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman?  Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

1. Nearly every STRAIGHT man wants a hot chick. We are program that way. The hotter the better. Appearance makes the difference. Personally I like a slim / skinny woman with small features, close to, but not sickly. Ha! ha! I have always preferred a woman in her mid-thirties too. That hasn't changed with age. I will say that I like women and the feminine traits that they display. Even a woman that naturally bats her eyes is very appealing to me. It makes me smile inside.
2. But the real question you should be asking is what men want short term, long term, and during just a release session. They are very different. Normal women, and men too, play dress up when seeking out mates. I really dread making all that effort. I think you do too since you asked the question that you did. Yes, you need to wear make up, high heels, and attractive clothes in order to land a guy. But, if you don't want to make all that effort then maybe you should send me a PM since I don't want to do that crap either. Ha! ha! Once people feel secure in a relationship they let things go to hell. Marriage is a real looks killer. Ha! ha! If one of the partners keeps up their appearances then the other one should be scared as hell. Because they are about to be single again. Ha! ha!

Bored said:

Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman?  Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

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Of the shop teacher's handful of romantic relationships I have had, none of them have been with a stereotypical feminine woman. Or indeed a straight one. I've never been into normal, and typically, 'different' people tend to become more different as they mature. Makeup matters way less than general self care. Wearing comfy shoes and favourite jeans to dinner? Go for it. Sweats and a shirt for a TV binge? Totally down for that. From what I see of the relationships among the people I know, that is more true than not, just a lot of people spend a lot of their lives trying not to admit it, a significant minority never will, and even still, unconscious biases, institutional sexism, and whathaveyou are still rife. That's the part that makes it hard, knowing someone likes you, getting signals when there's less people around and then watching those same signals vanish in the noise the minute you're out and about (story of my adolsecence right there).

Sooner or later the majority of us come to realise that we would rather be with someone who complements who we are and makes us feel good about ourselves than with some perfect specimen simply because they are perfect. That's called maturity, not settling.

^ In summation, a lot of older people let themselves go. Then it becomes necessary to not be so choosy any more. But, they don't want to admit to all of that so they convince themselves that they have become wiser when in reality they have just become more desperate.

Finished said:

^ In summation, a lot of older people let themselves go. Then it becomes necessary to not be so choosy any more. But, they don't want to admit to all of that so they convince themselves that they have become wiser when in reality they have just become more desperate.

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Thankyou Diogenes, for that helpful translation.

^ No problem. Any time. Ha! ha!

I'm a little late to this discussion, but I want to add that there exist plenty of men out there who are not looking for a stereotypical "hot" woman. As a straight man, I personally don't really like makeup (my wife never wears any), high heels (they look like miniature torture devices) or women who "flaunt it" or nearly starve themselves to meet some unhealthy "ideal." I've had relationships with that type and I found the never-ending emphasis on looks just too overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes it was even hard to just go out for a ride without waiting for "the right look" to happen. I want a relationship with a human being, not with a mannequin. I once dated an amateur model and, though she was very pretty, she spent 2 hours everyday on her looks and obsessed over every minute detail. A minor scratch on her skin became a horrid trauma. Not only that, more than once I went to a restroom in a restaurant only to come back and find some other guy sitting at our table hitting on her. I wasn't too upset when it ended, honestly. Having something that many other people want can come at a high price. Had I fallen in love with any of these women it would have been a different story, but I found many of them only skin deep, sadly. When I matured a bit and looked for a full person, not just a face or a body, then dating actually became fun, exciting and interesting. I've dated women with Mohawks, women who didn't shave their legs, women who both didn't shave their legs and shaved their heads, raucously vulgar women and many other types. I found most of them more interesting than the mannequins, even when I knew they weren't a good match for me.

Bored said:

Question for the men. On some threads I’ve noticed the recurring theme of assuming most women seek or or end up with stereotypical masculine men. Are the men here seeking a stereotypical very feminine woman? Are the women you find most attractive the ones who spend loads of time on their appearance? Always in a full face of makeup and high heels? Curvy body types?

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Yes and no. I like curvy women, but I usually lean towards curvy/voluptuous or even chubby as opposed to the thin model types.

The makeup and high heels I could take or leave.

One thing I've noticed though is that I don't seem to have too many common tastes and interests with stereotypically feminine women, though. And it is important to me to find someone I can share my interests and tastes with and have a good time enjoying those things together and sharing mutual enthusiasm. I want to be able to "nerd out" about the same or similar stuff together, and hopefully grow closer because of it. A more casual woman would probably be a lot closer to my tastes, interests, and personality.

It's also important to me to find someone I can be emotionally close with. I don't see this happening with stereotypically feminine women because I feel like they usually look down on me and treat me coldly for not being a macho man. I never seem to get a chance to matter to them because I'm not macho, but it makes no sense for me to be like that, I don't have the right strengths, personality traits, or cultural background to justify acting that way, I don't believe in it, and it's just not natural to me, so I don't know what to do.

It's starting to make me wonder just how important looks are to me. On the one hand, I want to be with someone that I at least somewhat want to sleep with, and I don't want to miss out on the physical aspect of a relationship, the electric intensity of being with someone I'm really physically attracted to. On the other hand, I want to be with someone I can talk to and be close to and feel some emotional warmth, feel like I can share my real thoughts and feelings with the person and feel like I actually matter to them. I would like at least some amount of looks, but the second part is more important, definitely.

There has to be some type of visual attraction. The way society is now that woman or man has to be a certain way. Either the man has to have a six pack or the woman is skinny and has huge breast and/or small ass. Not too many women and men want to take the time to see what person is made up inside.

I won't lie to you and say attraction doesn't matter, but I will take a women who has great qualities about her over a woman who spends more time putting makeup on.

Well of course there has to be some visual attraction; how else would human beings recognize someone as being the gender/biological sex they are interested in. People grow less attractive as they age - women become more mannish post-menopause, men become more feminine as testosterone drops. Neither party is as attracted to one another, and the deal breakers become more apparent as the attraction fades. That's the problem with starting to date 'late'.