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How important is sex in a relationship?
#1
I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have sex. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without sex? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is sex a deal breaker?
 

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#2
Hi there.

Sex isn't a deal-breaker in a relationship but it is an important part of what makes a relationship tick.  There are some men out there who would be happy with a purely emotional, non-sexual connection rather than a combination of the two, but I think you'd have to really go looking to find one.

Maybe it's not a case of meeting the right person for you, perhaps you just need to take the time to get yourself comfortable with the idea of being with someone in a sexual context?

Anyway, just my two cents. Smile
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#3
For some people, it's not a necessity. There are people out there who identify as "asexual", meaning they don't find any gender sexually attractive. I've also met people who aren't asexual but who generally find sex boring (yes, men), and who tend to like foreplay or some fairly innocent kinks more.

For many people, it does matter quite a bit. But, not everyone seriously wants to have sex with any hot man/woman/whatever who walks by.

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#4
Yeah, it depends who you are dating. It doesn't HAVE to be an issue, but it could be with some people. You might be asexual, but, on the other hand, you could just have not found the right person yet.
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#5
I believe you should have an agreement with your partner regarding that, and find someone that possibly share the same level of libido as you have, or the lack of it, but I'd argue that if you never had any romantic lasting connection you might not know exactly the amount of attraction you'll feel directed to that possible significant other. Maybe for you it's hard to come by, maybe you need the emotional side fulfilled before you get comfortable opening up to a more sexual relationship, and believe me there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with being asexual, by the way, but I wouldn't go towards that stance immediately since you never had a relationship to draw those conclusions from.

It's good to notice that usually people only feel desired based on sex and level of attraction stemming from their partners, that's some considerable importance people put on sex, it also needs to be clarified and agreed upon both sides in a relationship - and it can turn into a deal breaker.

Sex is very personal, it changes from individual to individual, I wouldn't worry about it too much - just make good choices and don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position for the sake of others.
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#6
I personally can live with or without. I know many people who think their entire lives revolve around it. As others have said, just be open about it
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#7
😭😭😭😢😢
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#8
I envy the OP...But yeah, honest communication about that is a must, and maybe the interest will grow if you're involved with someone.
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#9
Sexual compatibility is very important.
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
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#10
It's important (for me) that you are just honest and upfront about what you like and dislike, and to have fun with it. Not everyone will be compatible, and that's ok.


Everyone is different though.
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