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No relationship, drains life out of me.
#1
I haven't got much energy in me to do some things that I like... or work hard from home.


If only i could have a relationship with a woman that I like, most of my problems would disappear. 

I am not even near having a girlfriend. At age of 33, you become lifeless, if you dont have a woman.

I feel so stuck and in one place, no matter what activity I take. If I dont get a woman, I am stuck in this void called 'life'.

I have been unemployed for almost a year, and that bothers me less...

No idea how long my state is going to last...



What about you? can you identify?
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#2
If you think getting a girlfriend will solve your problems, you aren't ready for a relationship.  Another person can't fix your issues, only you can.  
I would concentrate more on being okay with yourself and less on getting someone else to fix them.
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#3
I think when we get down we tend to focus on the things that are missing in our life, so the lack of a partner hurts even more.

Yeah, I can identify.  Im the same age and it really eats at me that I've gone this far into life with essentially zero relationship experience.  You start to wonder just what the hell is wrong with you that nobody gives you the time of day.  It drives you crazy.  You start to think that your ugly, boring, or any other negative trait.  And then you look around and see 'ugly and boring' people with girlfriends or wives.  And it drives you even more crazy.

It creates such a hole in you that you make the assumption if you filled the hole everything else in your life would be fixed.  But thats like having multiple gunshot wounds and thinking because you patch up the biggest one the others will go away too.

I honestly just wish I knew why I've been single for so long,  why a girl will only show interest in me once every 5 or so years.  Right now its like having horrible symptoms of some bad disease, but you dont know what the disease is or how to treat it.  It can drive you crazy.  I tried to change so much in my life to be more 'attractive'.  I bought all new clothes,  had them tailored,  traded in sweaters and hoodies for blazers and sport coats,  started wearing nice oxfords exclusively, started getting $50 haircuts...none of it made a difference.  My brother is handsome, and he has nice looking girls approach him randomly in public places and giving their number to him.  Thats how he met his current girlfriend.  Maybe Im just ugly.
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#4
Being loved makes you happy, your problem is not being happy; someone enters your life and loves you, that person fixes your problem.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#5
(09-10-2017, 06:36 AM)michael2 Wrote: I think when we get down we tend to focus on the things that are missing in our life, so the lack of a partner hurts even more.

Yeah, I can identify.  Im the same age and it really eats at me that I've gone this far into life with essentially zero relationship experience.  You start to wonder just what the hell is wrong with you that nobody gives you the time of day.  It drives you crazy.  You start to think that your ugly, boring, or any other negative trait.  And then you look around and see 'ugly and boring' people with girlfriends or wives.  And it drives you even more crazy.

It creates such a hole in you that you make the assumption if you filled the hole everything else in your life would be fixed.  But thats like having multiple gunshot wounds and thinking because you patch up the biggest one the others will go away too.

I honestly just wish I knew why I've been single for so long,  why a girl will only show interest in me once every 5 or so years.  Right now its like having horrible symptoms of some bad disease, but you dont know what the disease is or how to treat it.  It can drive you crazy.  I tried to change so much in my life to be more 'attractive'.  I bought all new clothes,  had them tailored,  traded in sweaters and hoodies for blazers and sport coats,  started wearing nice oxfords exclusively, started getting $50 haircuts...none of it made a difference.  My brother is handsome, and he has nice looking girls approach him randomly in public places and giving their number to him.  Thats how he met his current girlfriend.  Maybe Im just ugly.

Yeah, you feel me, brother. I guess the other two commentators are either two women or two autistic gays. 
It is true that handsome guys get numbers faster and more often, but they are prone to end up with the wrong woman or grow old and lose the looks and the energy.
Take into account too, the fact that majority of the couples arent attractive. If you think about it, in majority of cases have you seen a beautiful woman with a handsome man or with an ugly guy.
I witnessed that in most cases an unattractive man would have a beautiful woman. The reason for that, is although attractive women have the ability to get almost any man they want.. they are not built to perform well at almost anything, and therefore end up in a relationship with some gremlin or goblin ( if you played the game or  watched the movie Warcraft).

I have two issues with expecting to have a woman. One is that the only way to get a woman is to learn how to be very manipulative. Second, is that I doubt I will get a woman, which I have met from the past. I want a more cool, warm, understanding and easy going woman. 
So I am going to follow the same old life tip,
[Image: funny-truth-modern-life-illustrations-ed...lles-1.jpg]


No, I am joking. 
Try to develop your personality, sense of humor and social skills. 
I would get a woman fast if I was handsome... but nothing I can do at this point but work harder ;(
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#6
(09-10-2017, 04:57 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: If you think getting a girlfriend will solve your problems, you aren't ready for a relationship.  Another person can't fix your issues, only you can.  
I would concentrate more on being okay with yourself and less on getting someone else to fix them.

Gosh would never have guessed this would come from Callie. If the main problem is having to spend life alone, without any intimacy and nobody who cares, then I you would think that a partner might at the very least solve that problem.

Knowing that no matter how hard I worked to  achieve anything, that's how I'm going to end up, makes me ambivalent.  I guess you get some satisfaction, some self-respect, but it rings a bit hollow when and epoch of loneliness stretches out ahead.
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#7
(09-10-2017, 05:03 PM)ardour Wrote:
(09-10-2017, 04:57 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: If you think getting a girlfriend will solve your problems, you aren't ready for a relationship.  Another person can't fix your issues, only you can.  
I would concentrate more on being okay with yourself and less on getting someone else to fix them.

Gosh would never have guessed this would come from Callie. If the main problem is having to spend life alone, without any intimacy and nobody who cares,  then I you would think that a partner might  at the very least solve that problem.

Knowing that no matter how hard I worked to  achieve anything, that's how I'm going to end up, makes me ambivalent.  I guess you get some satisfaction, some self-respect, but it rings a bit hollow when and epoch of loneliness stretches out ahead.

IF your main problem is that you don't want to spend life without a partner for intimacy and all that comes with it and you have absolutely no problem being alone other than that.  If you aren't all negative all the time, blaming others, making excuses, etc etc etc....then okay, a girlfriend will solve some problems. 

If you do have the latter issues, getting a girlfriend won't solve anything because you'll just realize that it wasn't really about getting a girlfriend.  Yeah, sure, it might help for a little while, but then you'll just go back to the way you were.  Possibly getting controlling, most likely sabotage the relationship without even being aware you are doing it.  Doing things like being jealous or doubting why she (or he) is with you. 

But hey, I'm apparently either a stupid woman or an autistic gay, so what do I know...
WTF DUDE??? (Not you, ardour) Perhaps women would respond a tiny bit more if you got a tiny bit of tack and respect....Most women I know wouldn't want to be with a guy that insults women every chance they get.   And don't even get me started on the second group of that sentence.
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#8
(09-10-2017, 09:02 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote:
(09-10-2017, 05:03 PM)ardour Wrote:
(09-10-2017, 04:57 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: If you think getting a girlfriend will solve your problems, you aren't ready for a relationship.  Another person can't fix your issues, only you can.  
I would concentrate more on being okay with yourself and less on getting someone else to fix them.

Gosh would never have guessed this would come from Callie. If the main problem is having to spend life alone, without any intimacy and nobody who cares,  then I you would think that a partner might  at the very least solve that problem.

Knowing that no matter how hard I worked to  achieve anything, that's how I'm going to end up, makes me ambivalent.  I guess you get some satisfaction, some self-respect, but it rings a bit hollow when and epoch of loneliness stretches out ahead.

IF your main problem is that you don't want to spend life without a partner for intimacy and all that comes with it and you have absolutely no problem being alone other than that.  If you aren't all negative all the time, blaming others, making excuses, etc etc etc....then okay, a girlfriend will solve some problems. 

If you do have the latter issues, getting a girlfriend won't solve anything because you'll just realize that it wasn't really about getting a girlfriend.  Yeah, sure, it might help for a little while, but then you'll just go back to the way you were.  Possibly getting controlling, most likely sabotage the relationship without even being aware you are doing it.  Doing things like being jealous or doubting why she (or he) is with you. 

But hey, I'm apparently either a stupid woman or an autistic gay, so what do I know...
WTF DUDE??? (Not you, ardour) Perhaps women would respond a tiny bit more if you got a tiny bit of tack and respect....Most women I know wouldn't want to be with a guy that insults women every chance they get.   And don't even get me started on the second group of that sentence.
Yes, you are a right. A girlfriend wont solve anything.

[Image: dark-humor-comics-mike-organisciak-5.jpg]
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#9
I'm not so sure that placing most of your good luck and happy life eggs in one basket like that is a good idea. As a woman, I wouldn't want a guy to say that he'll be problem free if only he were in a relationship. Something like that could give you happiness, but it shouldn't determine the entirety of your happiness.
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#10
Was he banned?

PD: I'm not autistic or gay.
I'm actually David Blane.
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