Feeling sub-human

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MisterLonely

MisterLonely

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2016
Messages
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Location
The Netherlands
Title says it all, from time to time I get down and feel like this, I try my best in life to be a good person, I don't treat people badly and am very open and accepting of all types, made a lot of progress in my adult life, going from 10 year long depressed good for nothing, to someone with a good job and home being fully self reliant.

And still I lack something that gets me that which everyone around me seems to take for granted, I just don't seem to be able to get some of the basic needs I and just about everyone has in life, friendship, companionship, socializing and just about everything one needs at least one other human being for.

What makes me so broken I don't get these things? I swear that I'm not an *******, I'm not condescending and I'm easy to give trust, and easy to get along with. I'm not afraid or anxious of people. I have everything my heart could desire when it comes to materialistic things, and then some more, yet totally unable to take care of those basic human needs, and am then made to feel bad for even having them.

Sub-human existence for short, so sick of it.
 
I don't think you are subhuman.

This might not be the time or place but from what I've seen you sometimes change your personality and act different depending on who you are talking to. It makes me think maybe you aren't always being your genuine self around others. More just acting however you feel like you need to in order to make the other person like you more. 

Anyways, I hope you don't take it the wrong way. I think there's nothing wrong with you. That's just what my POV has been in observing you over time. Hopefully it helps.
 
You're not wrong Kamya, I've done so for a long time and I don't take any offence by it.

It is something I know has been a problem, my need to fit in somewhere, anywhere, but I feel that is mostly under control.
I tone myself down in some situations, but one on one I say what I mean and I'm true to who I am, but I am a lot of different things as we all are, personality is complex, and not always logical. Thoughts and ideas are not set in stone, given good enough argumentation they can be changed.
 
If you were a mutant you'd be mystic!

They are superhuman. Maybe you're actually almost super human. She is always kind of an outsider though.

I get what you're saying though. We all do it so some extent.
 
kamya said:
If you were a mutant you'd be mystic!

They are superhuman. Maybe you're actually almost super human. She is always kind of an outsider though.

I get what you're saying though. We all do it so some extent.
Click to expand...

I'd say that is a bit much, I don't turn religious when talking to someone religious, I don't change politics to suit others opinion, I don't hate on anyone for experiences others had and shared with me.

I see the little things as being open to new experiences, if someone listens to a and i don't know I'm happy to have a listen myself, the same for watching a show or reading a book, I might like it or i might not, I just don't write it off because it's unknown to me.

I also wasn't trying to imply that I see myself as sub-human by the way, just that parts of my life feel like it.
 
MisterLonely said:
kamya said:
If you were a mutant you'd be mystic!

They are superhuman. Maybe you're actually almost super human. She is always kind of an outsider though.

I get what you're saying though. We all do it so some extent.
Click to expand...

I'd say that is a bit much, I don't turn religious when talking to someone religious, I don't change politics to suit others opinion, I don't hate on anyone for experiences others had and shared with me.

I see the little things as being open to new experiences, if someone listens to a and i don't know I'm happy to have a listen myself, the same for watching a show or reading a book, I might like it or i might not, I just don't write it off because it's unknown to me.

I also wasn't trying to imply that I see myself as sub-human by the way, just that parts of my life feel like it.
Click to expand...

You are not sub human. It is not natural for us humans to be isolated. It messes us up in so many ways. It is natural for us to have interactions with others, but we can't always be in control of that
 
Are you putting yourself out there enough do you think? Like, if you meet someone and you get along and have a laugh, do you take their number or add them on social Media?
 
Brennabean said:
Are you putting yourself out there enough do you think? Like, if you meet someone and you get along and have a laugh, do you take their number or add them on social Media?
Click to expand...

Definitely not, Social media I don't really use a lot, and taking numbers has never come up. I do need to get out more...
 
MisterLonely said:
Brennabean said:
Are you putting yourself out there enough do you think? Like, if you meet someone and you get along and have a laugh, do you take their number or add them on social Media?
Click to expand...

Definitely not, Social media I don't really use a lot, and taking numbers has never come up. I do need to get out more...
Click to expand...
Well maybe there's your problem. From our conversion so far I've enjoyed your virtual company. You're kind, funny and have a decent brain on you, however like me, it seems you need a bit of a confidence boost from time to time... The kind of boost you get from a positive social interaction. Not all attempts will go well, and there will definitely be some where you'll feel embarrassed for trying, but you can't please everyone. There are so many people who are lonely and shy, and what they need is someone to make the first move, say the first joke, ask for the number first... I have been doing this recently, I haven't received results yet as I only started last week but I'll let you know ::)
I hope you're feeling better now. 
B x
 
I want to say something, but I don't know what. Nothing that honestly helps.
I will say this, you probably figured it out like I did by now;
bad things happen to good people.
It's just random. Luck of the draw. Sometimes the only thing you can do is hang in there and hope tomorrow is better.
So hang in there, dude.
 
MisterLonely, yes you are sub-human.

(Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this)

No, you are not literally sub-human. You're as human as the next man. But that self doubt is a GOOD THING. History is littered with people who were damned sure of themselves. Hitler, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Stalin, Pinochet. And we know how those things worked out.

It's not only OK to be critical of yourself, but it is positively good. Keep your own counsel. Do what is right. And never stop being critical of yourself. This will make you the better man.
 
My 2 cents prob wont count.

Maybe you havent met the perfect beings yet, the ones that are designed specifically for you.
Maybe you already have but need a closer look or appreciation
Whatever it is, dont convince yourself that you're the problem.
You're not the problem, you just havent found the right world/fit.
 
TheLoadedDog said:
MisterLonely, yes you are sub-human.

(Bear with me,  I'm going somewhere with this)

No, you are not literally sub-human.  You're as human as the next man.  But that self doubt is a GOOD THING.  History is littered with people who were damned sure of themselves.  Hitler, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Stalin, Pinochet.  And we know how those things worked out.

It's not only OK to be critical of yourself, but it is positively good.  Keep your own counsel.  Do what is right.  And never stop being critical of yourself.  This will make you the better man.
Click to expand...

Loaded, thanks for your input, I will do all these things as I have been doing them always, I just think I need to bring about some change, not sue what kind yet, but i will not change my persona.

Moetan21 said:
My 2 cents prob wont count.

Maybe you havent met the perfect beings yet, the ones that are designed specifically for you.
Maybe you already have but need a closer look or appreciation
Whatever it is, dont convince yourself that you're the problem.
You're not the problem, you just havent found the right world/fit.
Click to expand...

Thank you Moetan, what makes you think your opinion wouldn't matter/count?
I shall try to answer your questions in such a way to not negate your point, because it does have a core truth to it.

"Maybe you havent met the perfect beings yet, the ones that are designed specifically for you. "
I think I have found some, but they are not looking for expansion of their circle, they are happy to let me in and have a good time but they will not ask me to join them on anything else, and I am not one to push myself in. Maybe that is what makes them not the right person/beings for me though.

"Maybe you already have but need a closer look or appreciation"
Maybe, in the past I wasn't in a confident state, and would not even consider anyone liking me, I've grown since, and look pretty closely at all those around me for commonalities and shared interests, I do what I can :)
 
So Misterlonely I guess that means...
continue to be sub human until you find the ones that make you want to be full human? :)
 
Title says it all, from time to time I get down and feel like this, I try my best in life to be a good person, 
Click to expand...
Don't try to be a good person. Be yourself.


And still I lack something that gets me that which everyone around me seems to take for granted, I just don't seem to be able to get some of the basic needs I and just about everyone has in life, friendship, companionship, socializing and just about everything one needs at least one other human being for.
Click to expand...
Scary. Not what you are asking for, but what you are doing. Trying to be a good person (.....1)   to acquire companionship (....2)   both of these actions put together. Stop both and your life will be full of joy. 

What makes me so broken I don't get these things? 
Click to expand...
For now, its good that you don't have those. Having them would be a temporary relief, but your relief would be dependent on those reliefs. Once they are gone, you are back to where you were. And until they are gone, you will live with a fear of losing them or not feeling worthy enough of having them.


I swear that I'm not an *******
Click to expand...
 
Then what does it mean to be "trying to be a good person"  :p :p

  
 I'm not condescending and I'm easy to give trust, and easy to get along with.
Click to expand...
Then what is the need of "trying to be a good person."  ?  :p :p

Sub-human existence for short, so sick of it.
Click to expand...
This can be a problem, only if you are being a part of the competition. Any form of comparison is dangerous, whether you see others above you, or below you. Both are foolish. The problem is not just in seeing yourself below others, but the problem is, putting yourself on the measurement scale. 


I have everything my heart could desire when it comes to materialistic things, and then some more, yet totally unable to take care of those basic human needs, and am then made to feel bad for even having them.
Click to expand...
Look, 
If you have something, enjoy it. If you don't have something, enjoy not having it. Its a unique experience of its own, don't miss out on it.
 
M_also_lonely said:
Title says it all, from time to time I get down and feel like this, I try my best in life to be a good person, 
Click to expand...
Don't try to be a good person. Be yourself.

Don't get hung up on semantics M, if i would change it to "I do my best in life" that would instantly void this whole post.

And still I lack something that gets me that which everyone around me seems to take for granted, I just don't seem to be able to get some of the basic needs I and just about everyone has in life, friendship, companionship, socializing and just about everything one needs at least one other human being for.
Click to expand...
Scary. Not what you are asking for, but what you are doing. Trying to be a good person (.....1)   to acquire companionship (....2)   both of these actions put together. Stop both and your life will be full of joy. 

Don't get hung upon semantics M,

What makes me so broken I don't get these things? 
Click to expand...
For now, its good that you don't have those. Having them would be a temporary relief, but your relief would be dependent on those reliefs. Once they are gone, you are back to where you were. And until they are gone, you will live with a fear of losing them or not feeling worthy enough of having them.

This is not what I asked for, how do you know I would lose anything, you don't know me well enough to judge on that.

I swear that I'm not an *******
Click to expand...
 
Then what does it mean to be "trying to be a good person"  :p :p

Don't get hung upon semantics M,

  
 I'm not condescending and I'm easy to give trust, and easy to get along with.
Click to expand...
Then what is the need of "trying to be a good person."  ?  :p :p

Don't get hung upon semantics M,

Sub-human existence for short, so sick of it.
Click to expand...
This can be a problem, only if you are being a part of the competition. Any form of comparison is dangerous, whether you see others above you, or below you. Both are foolish. The problem is not just in seeing yourself below others, but the problem is, putting yourself on the measurement scale. 

I used a comparison to illustrate my point, I do not place any of those people ahead of me or behind me,


I have everything my heart could desire when it comes to materialistic things, and then some more, yet totally unable to take care of those basic human needs, and am then made to feel bad for even having them.
Click to expand...
Look, 
If you have something, enjoy it. If you don't have something, enjoy not having it. Its a unique experience of its own, don't miss out on it.

A very simplistic look at something that isn't simple, if it works for you, why are you here?
Click to expand...


Thanks for this picking apart of my post and analyzing it sentence by sentence, word by word, what I learned from it is that even with my efforts to construct a post in an unambiguous way, people will always find something... I will do better next time.
 
I think it might be more that you are trying to be what you think other people want you to be. Also, that could lead you down the path of being a pushover or a doormat.
Standing up for yourself, saying no, going after what you want and speaking your mind (for the most part) doesn't mean not being a good person.
 
why are you here?

Just helping people out.

If you have something, enjoy it. If you don't have something, enjoy not having it. Its a unique experience of its own, don't miss out on it.
A very simplistic look at something that isn't simple, if it works for you, why are you here?
Nothing else worked, only the realization of this helped.

Thanks for this picking apart of my post and analyzing it sentence by sentence, word by word, what I learned from it is that even with my efforts to construct a post in an unambiguous way, people will always find something... I will do better next time.
I think it means I took the time to read every word you have to say.
But oh, I am really sorry if I hurt your feelings. I will go with the conventional way then:

Title says it all, from time to time I get ........
.............
............

................these things? I swear that I'm not an *******, I'm not condescending and I'm easy to give trust, and easy to get along with. I'm not afraid or anxious of people. I have everything my heart could desire when it comes to materialistic things, and then some more, yet totally unable to take care of those basic human needs, and am then made to feel bad for even having them.

Sub-human existence for short, so sick of it.
Click to expand...

TL;DR (in head).
Join some club, memorize some jokes, go out there and talk to people, join the gym.
 
M_also_lonely said:
why are you here?

Just helping people out.

If you have something, enjoy it. If you don't have something, enjoy not having it. Its a unique experience of its own, don't miss out on it.
A very simplistic look at something that isn't simple, if it works for you, why are you here?
Nothing else worked, only the realization of this helped.

Thanks for this picking apart of my post and analyzing it sentence by sentence, word by word, what I learned from it is that even with my efforts to construct a post in an unambiguous way, people will always find something... I will do better next time.
I think it means I took the time to read every word you have to say.
But oh, I am really sorry if I hurt your feelings. I will go with the conventional way then:

Title says it all, from time to time I get ........
.............
............

................these things? I swear that I'm not an *******, I'm not condescending and I'm easy to give trust, and easy to get along with. I'm not afraid or anxious of people. I have everything my heart could desire when it comes to materialistic things, and then some more, yet totally unable to take care of those basic human needs, and am then made to feel bad for even having them.

Sub-human existence for short, so sick of it.  
Click to expand...

TL;DR (in head).
Join some club, memorize some jokes, go out there and talk to people, join the gym.
Click to expand...

My feelings weren't hurt :)

TheRealCallie said:
I think it might be more that you are trying to be what you think other people want you to be.  Also, that could lead you down the path of being a pushover or a doormat.  
Standing up for yourself, saying no, going after what you want and speaking your mind (for the most part) doesn't mean not being a good person.
Click to expand...

This seems to be a common thought about me, reason is because I've posted about this being a problem in the past, I have done a lot of growing this past year, and I do mean really much... Maybe it's time to let go of all the things I've posted and shared in the past and look at what I'm doing and how I'm acting (NOT in the sense of putting up an "act") right now.

I'm not a frightened little kitten.
 

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