Being nervous on first dates and chances in future.

Me again. XD
I wanted to ask this somewhere, and I kinda decided for this forum. I have problem with being nervous on first dates. And women which I was seeing in past were like; " This guy probably isn't interested ... I'll move on. ". I really really need some time to feel comfortable around someone. But I really get like super super rare more then one chance in terms of coffee. Another problem is; I'm kinda karizmatic, lot of people have told me that. I really don't have problems with writting and exchanging messages .... and 95% of people who I was writting to in past, we have meet like very very fast since I was just super cool guy. I really rarely get more then one chance in terms of first coffees, and small number of people did gave me more chances to feel ok. And 100% of people who gave me more then one chance, think I'm a " f***in' legend ". XD Their words, not mine. xD So ... I wanted to know; do I just meet wrong women in terms of dating or? Do you give more then one chance in terms of dating and giving guy a chance to impress you, or is it my case and problem - just a rule, not exception?

ShyNLonely said:

Me again. XD
I wanted to ask this somewhere, and I kinda decided for this forum. I have problem with being nervous on first dates. And women which I was seeing in past were like; " This guy probably isn't interested ... I'll move on. ". I really really need some time to feel comfortable around someone. But I really get like super super rare more then one chance in terms of coffee. Another problem is; I'm kinda karizmatic, lot of people have told me that. I really don't have problems with writting and exchanging messages .... and 95% of people who I was writting to in past, we have meet like very very fast since I was just super cool guy. I really rarely get more then one chance in terms of first coffees, and small number of people did gave me more chances to feel ok. And 100% of people who gave me more then one chance, think I'm a " f***in' legend ". XD Their words, not mine. xD So ... I wanted to know; do I just meet wrong women in terms of dating or? Do you give more then one chance in terms of dating and giving guy a chance to impress you, or is it my case and problem - just a rule, not exception?

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I'm the same and it sure doesn't help. 
The dating situation seems to be about cutting the socially awkward as little slack as possible. I'm sorry I don't have any advice.

I wasn't looking for advices. I was looking for information in terms of what would you do if you were seeing a nervous guy/girl?

It depends on the level of nervousness and how much it limits your social activity. It can be endearing sometimes, but it can also be a huge turn off. If you are more easy going online, appear confident, etc and then show up in person for a date only to find an awkward nervous person, it is likely going to make you wonder if you were talking to the same person or something like that.

Why are you nervous?

Well, usually first dates are 95% awkward and clumsy. No special reason, I don't date too much, I get to excited, I need some time to let people in my life ....

ShyNLonely said:

Well, usually first dates are 95% awkward and clumsy. No special reason, I don't date too much, I get to excited, I need some time to let people in my life ....

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It sounds like you are rushing into a first date before you are ready.  Hold off in the future.  Stretch it out more, get used to the person first.

Well, I'm usually the one who needs time ... one girl in past told me that I should kissed her after 10 minutes of first date. XD My best female friend told me also; it's ok to kiss someone after 5 minutes of first date ... I'm like; what drug did you use today? XD

ShyNLonely said:

Well, I'm usually the one who needs time ... one girl in past told me that I should kissed her after 10 minutes of first date. XD My best female friend told me also; it's ok to kiss someone after 5 minutes of first date ... I'm like; what drug did you use today? XD

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Wow....Try to kiss me that soon and the date is over.

I agree with you on this one. If I was a female and someone would kiss me after 5 minutes ... I would probably call the police. XD But apperently, this is very popular between the girls I was seeing. xD

ShyNLonely said:

Do you give more then one chance in terms of dating and giving guy a chance to impress you, or is it my case and problem - just a rule, not exception?

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Depends on what, if anything, he had to show. If I did date, and it didn't go so smoothly, I'd probably only give it another chance if he actually had something to show.

My advice on a first date? Go all out! Show a girl who you are! I mean how many guys sit there and do the whole "Hi my names.. My interests.. " ask her something deep,  tell her bad jokes or sing I don't know! Something for her to remember you by! I'm not even joking about singing, imagine a girl goes home and thinks "God that was so embarrassing..." but she'll be thinking of you.. that "embarrassing" moment will be something she will still be thinking about later instead of "That was an ok dinner, he didn't really give me much to go on...I think I'll go out on a date next week with so and so instead.." Basically I think your nerves come from you being scared to be you! Magnify your personality and you'll be fine, just stop overthinking things. Every single girl that I've ever got along with I didn't plan too, I was just myself...so do the same and you'll be fine. Remember, you're some girl out theres dream guy. So don't hide!

It's not as though he's a human being in an inherently nerve racking situation. Nervous is a turn off donchaknow. Show us something now or we'll next ya!

Crikey... glad I'm don't have to run this gauntlet.

ardour said:

Nervous is a turn off donchaknow.

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No, it's not.

/sarcasm.

ardour said:

/sarcasm.

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Not sarcasm if you actually believe it, even in the smallest amount.

If this two guys could have a baby, I'm pretty sure it would be me. xD





This is what I was talking about being nervous on first date.

I'd suggest to find a person with a good sense of humor. Whether you're nervous, awkward, clumsy or all of these at once, you and them should just laugh it off. Innocent jokes about stuff like that make it feel A LOT more comfortable and show that the person really cares about your comfort.

Source: my own experience

ShyNLonely said:

If this two guys could have a baby, I'm pretty sure it would be me. xD





This is what I was talking about being nervous on first date.

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Ironically, we live in a time where that will probably happen sooner rather than latter. ;-)

http://www.iflscience.com/health-an...could-soon-be-possible-no-egg-donor-required/

And one other cool factor which I noticed in my dates in: I love when people say some stuff and ask other side what do they mean about it. Like I don't know: "I love RHCP, my favourite album is The Getaway, ... what do you think about RHCP? What is your favourite song of theirs?". And women which I have met in past were like: "I'm not good today, my close friends doesn't feel very nice ... I got D in english test ... I'm super happy about my new shoes ... I don't like chairs in this pub.". Just have like 40 minutes monologue, and I don't know how to bump into that, so I let her finish her stuff. xD